Dimensional Happenstance
by Grashppr36
Summary: They come unbidden. Dreams of desire. Dreams turned to nightmares from which she cannot escape. They will change her life in ways she never could imagine. Will she be able to merge madness with reality? Rated M for future chapters. A/U The usual suspects.
1. Chapter 1

_Dimensional: a level of existence or consciousness _

_Happenstance: a circumstance especially that is due to chance_

Prologue

Crimson eyes leered at me. The predator snarled, moving silently with catlike grace. The mist swirled through the moss covered trees; snakelike and caressing as a lover's tender hands would. There is dampness and the smell of decaying vegetation. The forest that surrounds me is unnaturally still and silent; the only sound I can hear is the frantic rhythm of my heart pounding in my ears. Somehow, I am not surprised that I ended up here.

With a terrifying growl the predator leaps towards me with violent fury. I close my eyes hoping it will be over quickly. As the distance closes between us time speeds up and slows down in the same moment bringing with it exceptional clarity.

I had heard stories about how a person's life is supposed to flash before their eyes moments before death, but not me. My eyes lock with the one who would end my existence and I could not move; would not move. Figures; I couldn't even _die_ normally. In the briefest of moments before he struck I managed to whisper "I forgive you".

But I was certain of one thing. I could not exist without _him_.

My predator.

My soul mate.

My Everything.

My Edward.

_*************(break)*****************_

Chapter One

The mid-morning sun crept across my body and I reveled in the sensations on my skin; warmth, safety, and _home_.

I loved Phoenix in all of its dry glory. I loved living with my mom. Renee was extremely impulsive and energetic; flitting around from one hobby to the next, never completing what she started. But she was also my best friend. Somewhere along the way our roles had switched and I had become the parent for all intents and purposes. I was the one who made sure the bills were paid and appointments kept.

Then she met Phil. It's true that he was several years her junior and that I honestly thought their relationship was a mistake; but he proved to be one of the best things that happened to her. He was patient and kind. I had to admit he was good for her. When they announced that they were getting married I felt like I was losing a child. He would be the one to take care of her now.

Phil was a minor league baseball player with hopes of being signed to the majors. This would require him to be away from home a great deal of the time. Renee was dedicated to staying home to be with me, but her heart longed to be with her new husband. I felt guilty because she had been alone for so long and she deserved happiness even if that meant it was without me.

Of course being seventeen, I could not live alone, and decided that the only reasonable option was to move in with my dad Charlie. It would be worth a year of suffering to ensure my mom's happiness. The drawback was that he lived in the capital of 'Wet and Damp'. Forks is a small town on the coast of Washington State that remained in a perpetual cycle of rain, fog, and overcast skies. The sun made a brief appearance occasionally, but it was always sporadic and fleeting.

School wasn't really an issue as I had never really fit in anywhere. I had no real friends and had never dated. My obvious clumsiness was enough to keep people at a distance. I allowed myself a chuckle wondering if they thought it was contagious.

The student population at my school in Phoenix was over 5000, and I was good at being invisible. I figured I would just continue my invisibility routine until I graduated, granted that being invisible in a population of only 350 students would take a bit more finesse.

The fact that I could leave when I was 18 was the only way I would be able to stand it.

Renee knocked softly on my bedroom door and opened it slightly seeing if I was awake. She crossed the room and sat at the edge of my bed. Her eyes glanced over to my one suitcase as she asked me again, "Are you sure about this, Bella?"

I had worked hard to convince her that I really wanted to spend time with my dad and get to know him. "Of course, Mom; I am really excited about this." I was afraid she would figure it out. Normally I couldn't lie to save my life, but I was determined to do this with none the wiser. I had to.

Phil put my suitcase in the car and we headed out of our quiet neighborhood, driving toward the airport. With the windows down I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes, committing each scent to memory.

I only carried a light windbreaker as I planned to buy the right clothing when I got there. Not that I had a lot to work with. I wasn't totally sure what I would need. During the flight I thought over the previous summers I'd spent in Forks.

My mom had married Charlie right out of high school and feeling smothered, had left when I was just a few months old; the divorce had been brutal. As part of the custody arrangement between my parents, I had been obligated to spend two weeks a year with Charlie. He was the police chief and had been born and raised there.

Looking out the window the view had changed from clear endless skies to a solid carpet of cloud cover below us. The overcast skies brought back long-buried memories of the fishing trips. Charlie's passion was fishing and he would take me several times during my visits. Often these adventures included one or more of his friends.

Billy Black was a vague memory. I barely remember that he had a son Jacob that I played with –usually in the mud. I remember the mud. _How I loved mud_. It always reminded me of home because it was brown. I love brown.

I never did tell Charlie how much I absolutely hated fishing. I endured the tenuous visits until I was old enough to demand we spend our time elsewhere in a much warmer and drier place.

As the plane started its descent into Seattle my thoughts drifted to Jacob Black. I wondered how he had turned out. I had fuzzy memories of a dark skinned boy with hair twisted into a single braid down to the middle of his back. He was a year younger than me and would probably be the typical hormonal and shallow teenage boy. I suspected that Charlie might try to throw us together in attempt to make me feel more comfortable.

In truth, I wanted to remain as disconnected to Forks as possible.

The jet landed at Sea Tac with little fanfare. A shaft of sunlight broke through the dismal sky only to be closed over as quickly as it had come.

Great.

As I boarded the small commuter plane that would take me to Port Angeles I realized that I needed to check my attitude and quick. I grimaced as I realized that I would be making the last leg of my trip in Charlie's police cruiser_. _Nothing said "invisible" like red and blue lights.

Ugh. Attitude. Check.

The airport in Port Angeles was not much. I could see a couple of private hangars and two runways with their guiding lights fighting the oppressive darkness. There was a private jet waiting to be cleared for takeoff. The plane taxied to its resting place about 20 yards from the main building that housed one ticket counter and several vending machines. As I exited the plane I could see a figure pacing back and forth in the small windowed lobby.

It was Charlie. I could tell he was nervous and I wanted to make this as painless as possible. "Hi Bells, was your flight ok?" He greeted me with a brief open hug. He was not one for showing his emotions; that was one thing we had that in common. "Yeah, but I'm tired" I gave a small smile. I _was_ tired, but more than that I wanted to be left to my thoughts.

We picked up my suitcase and Charlie put it in the trunk. It had rained earlier and the light was reflecting off the pavement with a harsh glare. It was cold and rush of wind blew my hair across my eyes. I shivered and huddled further into my poor excuse for weather protection. Charlie saw me shiver and gave a sympathetic glance at my windbreaker and turned the heater on high as soon as we got into the cruiser.

Slowly the warmth reached me and I tried to relax. We made small talk about the police station and my life in Phoenix. As we left Port Angeles I watched the dark line of trees speed by. The rain swept off the windshield with the rhythmic movement of the wiper blades. I started to drift off again. Blurred visions of familiar shadows played across my closed eyelids.

I came out of my self induced haze to see that we were nearly there. The rain had slowed to a drizzle as we pulled in to the driveway. It was dark but from what I could see the house seemed to be the same as I remembered; maybe a little worse for wear.

Charlie got my suitcase from the trunk and led the way up the small walk. It was uneven with several cracks. Of course I tripped once or twice but was able to catch my balance. Charlie chuckled and shook his head. We continued up the steps and through the front door. It was like a frozen moment in time. Everything was the same; the drapes, the furniture, the small wooden table in the kitchen.

I followed Charlie up the creaky narrow stairs to my old bedroom. My new room. Several childhood art projects still covered the walls. The bed had a new comforter and pillows-I was touched because it was his way of making me feel welcome. Across the hall from my room was the very small bathroom that we would have to share. I would not have much space to deal with, but then again, I wasn't the type of person who used an arsenal of beauty products anyway.

My dad wasn't what you would call tech savvy. This was obvious when he proudly showed off the older computer desk and even older computer he had purchased for me from a yard sale. His one technological pride was the huge flat screen TV in the living room. Sports, Baseball in particular; Charlie's other passion.

He left me alone to unpack and I was grateful. I liked alone. Actually, that was another thing we had in common. _This might not be so bad. _

After unpacking and getting my bed situated, I stopped to look out my bedroom window. A large tree took up half the view. What I could see beyond that looked over a part of the small front yard. The trees branches tree were almost close enough to touch the side of the house.

The day's adventure had caught up to me and I gave a loud yawn. I changed into a comfortable pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt and made my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

The cupboards were still the same pale yellow Renee had painted them so many years ago. The fridge was older too, and after looking inside I don't believe it ever had much use after mom left.

After a quick inventory of the kitchen I realized that Charlie ate out for almost all of his meals. I did find some peanut butter, half a loaf of bread, and something that I think used to be jelly. The bread wasn't crawling and the date was current on the peanut butter so I made a p & b with no j.

Charlie got up from the news he had been watching and sighed when he realized he'd not bought any groceries. He mumbled an apology and handed me some money to get whatever I needed food wise. I got a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, taking small sips as I tried to get my bearings. I suddenly felt very tired and said goodnight and headed up the stairs and into my room.

I had ignored my carry-on bag for the entire trip and had set it beside the bed when I'd first arrived. As I climbed into bed I caught a faint glow from inside and realized that my phone was on silent the entire time. I imagined Renee's state of mind when I saw 14 missed calls.

Technology was not kind to my mother either; it was much worse for her than Charlie. The fact that she was able to keep track of her cell long enough to call me that many times was a feat unto itself. I debated calling so late, but knew she would start calling the house in a panic if I didn't get back to her tonight. I tried to think of what I could say to assure her that all was well as I heard it click over to voice mail. I left a message promising to call her the next day.

I flopped down onto my bed, pulling the covers up as high as they would go and buried my head under them. I wanted to sleep-I needed to sleep, but was too keyed up. I thought about getting up to look out my window again but instead I stayed in bed. I tossed and turned for several hours-a victim to my rambling brain.

Then it hit me. This was real. There was no going back. Taking a deep breath (I forgot to breathe a lot) I knew that I would have to face my new life. In the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The Disclaimer: SM owns all t things Twilight. I just like to play with her toys in the vast chasm that was once my mind..... :0)

Chapter Two

_Aching, Burning, Agony..._

_Bodies-Intertwined and writhing_

_Voices-Whispered names…incoherent moans…a velvet voice calling to me…."Bella…My Bella"…barely audible…._

_Shadows-Vague and in motion- hands moving…exploring intimately…moving closer…hands reaching…caressing…_

_Breathing- Rapid and shallow, in sync…. with each other…_

_Heart-Thick blood pounding…_

_Electricity-Binding me to him….Blood rushing through my veins….his teeth grazing my throat…._

_Fire-Spreading flames deliciously engulfing my body- Touch-Oh God his touch….taming me-_

_Ice-Frozen lips blazing a trail over my collarbones...over my stomach….down…. _

_The exquisite fire rages….tying me to him forever…_

_Faceless -Flashes of bronze, flashes of topaz… obscured from my view. _

With a gasp I sat straight up in my bed, trembling covered in sweat. _Again. _

As I steadied myself with my hands, the fleeting images retreated into the back of my mind; or wherever they came from.

_I am able to see small glimpses. Who's calling my name? Why can't I ever see his face? What is happening to me?_

I had to catch my breath and try to calm down_. It was so real_. The one place where I didn't have any control was the subconscious.

My dreams have always been "normal" -nothing really weird-and definitely never anything of a sexual nature.

I don't know how long it's been around but I started becoming aware of it shortly after I made my decision to move to Forks. At first it was just a harmless mix of shadows moving, similar to looking through a shrouded window.

I don't have any explanations. And the last couple of times I have had a slight sense of regret because I woke up. That is unusual because it's not a "safe" place for me to be. Rather the opposite.

I can't wake up and it has its way with me until _it_ decides to let me go. It is frightening and almost physically painful. I always feel a bit disoriented.

Definitely not your unicorn and rainbows experience.

My waking hours weren't wasted on daydreams; the exceptions being Jane Austen and Shakespeare, of course. I was partial to Romeo and all romances considered tragic.

Romeo was definitely hot. He was noble, gorgeous, innocent, and slightly dangerous; especially when he was defending his Juliet. In the current social structure he might be considered bipolar.

And in that fateful juncture in the story he ingests poison thinking her dead, knowing he can't exist without her. She awakes and realizes he'd left her in this life. She, also being incapable of any existence without him, takes his dagger and ends her misery. I would like to think that they had been reunited in wherever they ended up.

The one common aspect my dreams share with others is that it fades from consciousness when I try to remember anything significant about it. Sometimes I can see his shadowed silhouette but little else.

It's a dream of pure sensation and emotion on an almost primal level.

Inevitably, I ended up walking over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror for some kind of clue. I always came to the same conclusion.

I was nondescript in the annals of ordinary.

I could not even classify myself as a wall flower, because even wall flowers had a couple of desirable attributes. Nope, I was more the wall support.

I could see features from both sides of the genetic pool in my family, but that did not account for my pale skin that often appeared translucent in the sun. I was told I had a few reddish highlights in my hair, but also only appearing in the bright sun. Otherwise it was just a muddy brown.

I wasn't particularly built, but neither was I athletic looking. I wasn't even average. The advantage I did have was the ability to stay as invisible and unnoticeable as possible.

I walked back into my small bedroom and glanced over at my ancient rock of a computer. I figured it would take at least ten minutes just to power it up and probably another ten to prepare it for launch into cyberspace.

A better idea would probably be to give it a cyber walker and let it creep along for safety. I really did need to send Renee an email. She needed a lot of assurances that I was going to survive in "that godforsaken place".

Down inside of me, I knew she was missing me more than she would let on. Renee was prone to having sporadic episodes of a maternal nature and I had just learned to roll with it.

Of course, I did miss them both. Phil was funny and never mean to Renee. He had never tried to be my stepfather either. He was just Phil and was an ok guy.

I pushed the start button on the computer and it made a grinding rattling noise after about ten seconds. It didn't seem to be locking up or heading for the "blue screen of death" so I walked over to the window and sat on the sill.

I felt comfortable there, looking at the branches of the tree and how they almost built a path down within a few feet of the ground. It might be a good idea for a fire escape if I ever needed it, which might be a necessity if Charlie actually decided to cook anything with more than four ingredients.

It was overcast, but the clouds did not have that dark suffocating feel to them this morning. And since it was Saturday, I could try and relax and get oriented to the area a little.

There were several neglected areas in the house that needed a good scrub. Not that I was overjoyed at the thought of gloves and chemicals, but the longer I put it off the worse it was going to get now that there were two people taking up space here.

Another item on my growing list of house improvements was to make those embarrassing photos of me disappear, or at least reduce them to one or two instead of the fifteen shoved haphazardly together in a too-small space.

As I continued to look out the window at nothing in particular I felt a chill. _Definitely need to update the wardrobe_ _soon. _

I would have been content to sit there awhile longer. I realized that I _really_ _liked_ this window.

After another a quick peek out to confirm the dreariness of the day I verified that my computer indeed was even slower than I feared. I thought I may as well take a shower and hope it would be ready by the time I got done.

I was going to name it "the thing" and hope for the best. Charlie meant well, but it might be a good idea to use the computers at school.

I padded my way across the hall to the small bathroom that contained a shower, no tub. I glanced in the mirror and saw that my eyes had pronounced dark circles under them in addition to some puffiness.

Hot water was the one thing I needed without any reservation. It was the only thing that was guaranteed to help me relax. (Kind of like brown; it reminded me of home).

I twisted the knobs and tested the temperature with my hand. Steam filled the small space as I undressed. I remembered at the last minute to turn the fan on; moisture was a problem in this climate and I didn't need to start a fungal jihad with the mold spores.

I stepped in to the hot shower, pulled the door closed and leaned against the wall under the shower head allowing the water to cascade down my shoulders.

As the hot water warmed my skin I let out a contented sigh. I let my mind drift not thinking of anything in particular_. I must still be tired from the trip. _I could have sworn I heard someone whispering; a voice earnestly whispering, but with an echo effect.

_Hmm…_ I wonder how long it had been since the exhaust fan vents had been cleaned in this old house. I was fairly convinced that it was the source.

I washed my hair, the scent of the shampoo familiar and comforting. Charlie's deodorant soap was another matter; I would have to remember to replace my body wash and a soft fiber loofah.

Although I did not partake in supporting the beauty industry, I have sensitive skin and that requires the use of certain products that kept me from looking like a blotched tomato.

Resigned to the tasks awaiting me, I turned the knobs and stopped the comforting flow of water. Opening the shower door I reached over to the shelf above the toilet and grabbed the first towel on the stack.

_Another thing I should take care of._ It was thin and rather scratchy. In some ways it was nice knowing I would be improving things for Charlie.

He was not needy or erratic like Renee. He was just ruled by the "it still works so don't replace it" gene.

I toweled myself off and again faced the mirror. Eyes looked a bit better, but the dark circles still stood out. I hoped they were gone by Monday when I would make my first appearance at Forks High School.

I put my hair up in a makeshift turban and brushed my teeth. I turned off the fan hoping I'd kept the spores at bay and walked back to my room.

I had the sense to bring the one thermal shirt and a few pairs of faded but decent jeans with me. Footwear was another issue entirely. My Converse high tops would do occasionally, but the need for something water proof was going to be a necessity.

I pulled my jeans up over my hips and zipped them up. I hooked my bra and put on the thermal. I shook my hair down from the towel and quickly brushed the wet mess back and put it in a simple ponytail.

I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye in the window. I walked over to it thinking there was a bird or something. _Nothing._ _Hmm… must have been seeing things._

Turning around I hesitantly looked at my computer. _Success!_ It was finally warmed up and ready for use. Dragging the mouse I double clicked on the launch button for our free internet service. Free to use but quite a workout closing the pop up ads that continued to appear.

I accessed my web based email and entered my user name and password, hoping that "the thing" would not bog down and die on me. Renee had actually sent me an email; or five in the last two days.

I read each one briefly before sending a quick generic message letting her know I was getting settled and was safe. I also let her know that I would not be checking email often as I was going to be busy getting adjusted to school.

With that particular duty done, I walked down the stairs into the kitchen. I knew Charlie had gone out on his regular Saturday fishing trip. He left me a note with directions to the Forks Thriftway, and apologized for not being her to take me shopping.

He had even taken his police cruiser so that I could use his truck. That was surprisingly thoughtful of him. _Another attempt to make me feel at home._ I appreciated it too. I had planned to get my own car, but would have to wait until we could make the trip to Port Angeles.

I sat at the kitchen table feeling a bit overwhelmed. I made another quick p & b with no j sandwich again.

_Note to self: Grocery Shopping_. I hated shopping.

Deciding that the cleaning could wait, I jotted down a quick list of the basic things I would need. I had done most of the cooking in Phoenix and was not going to mind cooking here.

Grabbing my bag and windbreaker I headed out the door. Once outside, I reached up under the eave and found the spare key. I locked the door and turned around and took a good look at the truck. It was red, older, and had a few dents with rust creeping up on the edges of the frame.

It looked like a solid dependable beast which was a relief because of how accident-prone I was. Whatever I could possibly collide with would come out on the losing end.

I unlocked the door, climbed into the cab and put the key in the ignition. The engine started right up but whined in protest. Actually, it roared like a dying elephant.

Fortunately the noise died down after a minute or so. I turned on the heater and played with the radio to see if there were any decent stations in range.

I only found one station and that was crackled and fuzzy. _So much for FM._ I switched to AM and actually found a clear oldies station. _Better than nothing._

I put the truck into reverse and pulled out of the driveway. The truck gave a slight shudder when I shifted to drive and I was off.

The Thriftway like everything else in this town was just off the highway. 101 ran through the center of town, but with a 30mph speed limit, it was not hard to navigate where you wanted to go.

I was grateful that grocery stores generally had the same layout. I was in and out within 30 minutes. I loaded the bags in to the bed of the truck, climbed back in and drove home.

After unloading the goods, I felt sleepy and decided a nap couldn't hurt. I dragged my feet up the stairs and practically collapsed on top of the covers. I sure seemed to be sleeping a lot.

I sat up and reached for the thick antique quilt made by Grandma Swan. I pulled it over me only intending to doze for twenty minutes or so. I did not expect what happened next.

My eyes had not been closed for more than five minutes when I felt a disorienting pull. It felt like I was spinning sideways but I was too tired to do anything about it.

I was so warm and comfortable that I slipped deeper into the dream. Actually it was more like being pulled into it. I was in a small clearing surrounded by ancient trees covered in moss. It looked liked the forest behind our house.

It was still and silent. In the distance I could see sunlight coming through the edge of the trees. It smelled good here. Earthy. There were a few flowers scattered here and there. _Everything is so green. _

I was waiting for someone. I looked around expectantly waiting. _Who am I waiting for?_ I heard quiet steps by and it sounded like they were coming toward me. _I'm not afraid. _

"_Bella. " _I recognized that velvet voice. I was overjoyed to hear it. He came from behind me and I felt electricity flow through me as he put his hands on my shoulders. I turned to look up into his face and screamed. _He has no face! _All he had was a blurred oval where his face should have been.

I went from joy to terror, unable to wake up or move. This dream had definitely taken a turn for the worse_. "Bella don't go!" How the hell did it know my name?_ I looked across that dark room and saw a window; _my window_. I jumped up and ran toward the filtered light coming through it.

I had almost made it when I tripped and fell_. Shit, I am clumsy even in a dream. _As the floor rose to meet my face I snapped awake, shaking and afraid. _What the hell?_

Something was happening to me and I was frightened. _He knew my name. He talked to me. I knew him. And more disconcerting, I had been waiting for him…_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(break)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Reviews are loved and will be answered!


	3. Chapter 3

**Story Note:** The tension between them has started to build and neither one has the good sense to take it on-but what else is new?

Kind of like Grover from Sesame Street "near...and…far…." Oh heck, I may as well confess that I love Fraggle Rock and The Muppets too. Yes it's embarrassing and now I have officially dated myself! Back to our regularly scheduled program….

Thank you my beta. (**Struckatthesky)**. You are so patient with me and all my anxiety, lol. You rock girl-I am looking forward to your next installment of "Fair Warning". (That one's going to be an interesting one for sure)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the saga, I'm just passing through.

Chapter 3

One month later…

It was Sunday night and I had been fortunate enough to spend most of the weekend thinking endlessly about Edward Cullen, wishing I was in _very_ close proximity to him. Charlie had gone on a rare weekend fishing trip that could be more accurately described as a carefully planned military assault with fish being the intended targets. Billy and Jacob Black had joined him.

I was feeling edgy and randomly paced back and forth across my room. I really needed to get some rest. _Ugh._ _Stupid English essay_. I considered ditching tomorrow, but my nature wouldn't allow it without a really good reason. I didn't have one. And the thought of school without Edward being there added to the gloom.

_I miss you. Are you thinking of me? Do you know I miss you? Do you even know that I exist? Could I ever tell you? God, why do I miss you so much? I've probably only spoken a total of fifty words to you._

Edward Cullen. Edward. Cullen. _I can't believe I let myself become this obsessed with a guy I barely know! _

I looked out my window into the darkness that threatened to engulf me. Dressed only in an oversized t-shirt I shivered from the chill and walked back over to my nightstand, sighing as I pulled the covers back and sat down on the edge of the bed. _This isn't 3rd grade._

That was the most troubling aspect of this whole thing. Why was I feeling so strongly for someone I didn't even know? _Well I do know his sister…_

Alice Cullen was a petite ball of explosive energy, literally. She was dangerous, well to a mall maybe. She would make the ultimate weapon of mass destruction if she was not able to shop. She earned her nickname of "The Shopping Nazi" from her own family. Alice was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

I think all the government would have to do to ensure her cooperation is to close all the malls within a 500 mile radius and tell her that she could spend 24 hours alone in the store of her choice when the mission was completed.

Money didn't seem to be a problem for her family, nor were they obvious about it. Her father was some hotshot surgeon and her mother was a very successful interior designer who also restored historical buildings as a hobby.

I heard some rumors about them during my first week at school and was hesitant about asking Alice about them. She was quickly becoming a close friend and I did not want to hurt her feelings. I think they were based on spite and envy. Envy from the guys and spite from the female population.

The most discussed rumor in the Cullen Mill was the one centering on their relationships. Supposedly, the kids in the house were paired up in serious relationships. Except for the one brother, Edward, who was completely self absorbed and standoffish. It was said that he was too good for any girls in this area. I thought maybe that they were just misunderstood and really close.

I was hesitant when Alice introduced herself to me my second week. She had walked her brother Edward to Biology and I had run into the doorframe, once again not watching where I was going.

She asked if I was ok, and I mumbled something about being a direct descendent of Murphy. She gave me a brilliant smile and her eyes were laughing; like she was one great big ball of happy. I thought it would be annoying but I actually thought I would like her.

She invited me to sit with her at lunch but I was intimidated by her family and their looks of irritation whenever I was with Alice. I was sure that I would get shanghaied by some classmates rescuing me from the "Stepford-Brady Bunch". _Kind of weird, but who am I to judge?_

Alice made me promise to sit with her later that week. We would sit at our own table and she didn't care what her family thought. I was looking forward to it.

She'd told me that although she loved her brothers and sister, she needed intelligent conversation and that I was her choice because I did not seem shallow like the "children" around here. Kind of a funny thing to say, but it was just probably Alice being Alice. Don't get me wrong, shopping was ok when it needed to be done, but was not my favorite pastime by any means. I preferred a good used bookstore.

Emmett, Alice, and Edward Cullen, not related by blood but they took the Cullen name. Rosalie and Jasper Hale were twins. They were distant relatives of the doctor and had wanted to keep their family name.

Emmett was dating Rosalie, Alice was dating Jasper, and Edward was alone by choice. If he changed his mind, that would be a welcome opportunity for several lovesick girls. Their parents were Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

Alice told me their story and my opinion was that it was a horrible situation that miraculously ended well. Edward, Emmett, and Alice had all been adopted over the years from orphanages. Rosalie and Jasper were distant relatives whose parents had died in some accident.

Then it made sense to me. They were probably so close from all the emotional upheaval they had experienced. They were also close in age.

I did notice a few odd things about them though. They seemed to occasionally communicate without words; just a nod or small movement and sometimes just a look, and they always had food, but never seemed to eat it.

_Why was I even paying that much attention to them? They just want to hang together, a tight family._

Their physical appearance was different too. Their skin was much paler than the already light skinned residents of Forks. Alice said that it's because they lived in Alaska for so long. I can't see sunbathing in a bikini in 80 below weather. It didn't explain their unusual eye color though.

At first I thought they were a light hazel, but when I first got close enough to Alice I was shocked to see that they were a liquid golden topaz. One day they seemed to be a buttery gold, but decided it was probably some genetic flaw. Then I realized that they all had those incredible colored eyes. It must have something to do with their years in Alaska from the lack of daylight. I just found it really fascinating.

I did have English with Alice. We were not able to sit together but we tried to catch a few minutes before and after class. Then there was Edward.

Alice had introduced him to me after English and it turned out that we had Biology together. I was late starting that class due to a stupid schedule mix up, but I was able to show that I qualified for placement at the advanced level. He nodded his head to me and then walked off. _Wow!_

He was too hot for words; extremely handsome, beautiful even, and tall. He wasn't too built, but looked solid and like he could handle himself. Alice wanted to hand me a bucket for my drool. I retorted that they should be standard issue for the incoming female population. She chuckled but didn't say anything. An oddity for me, I was feeling a twinge of curiosity towards him.

There was no way I was going to tell my new almost-best-friend that I was attracted to her brother. That would be the recipe for sudden friendship death. It wouldn't be pretty.

I figured I was just reacting to his looks like the rest of the girls and there was a quick fix for that. I would try to get to know him in biology and that would take care of the illusion he projected and kill the hormonal response I was having. Yep, that had to be the cure. Then I could continue uninterrupted with Alice.

He had the most incredible head of wild bronze hair: _Sex hair._ It was not a look that could be duplicated.

_What I could do with that… I am so not going there. _

Sitting next to Edward in biology started events in my life that would take me places that I would never have imagined.

I started blushing when we sat at the lab table and felt self conscious. I started hiding behind my hair and began to sneak glimpses at him. _This is getting ridiculous. Snap out of it, Swan!_

I felt attracted to him from day one, but never expected my feelings to develop so intensely so quickly. I started getting nervous before class and was devastated if he was absent. He never talked to me and rarely looked at me either. When he did look at me, it was with disdain, like I had some contagious disease or something. _So much for being good lab partners._ My grade was going to be in jeopardy if something didn't change. I was pathetic.

After another week of being ignored I asked Mr. Banner about changing classes due to a schedule conflict. He said he'd see what he could do for me. He looked at Edward with a strange expression and said, "Couldn't handle being next to someone who is as smart as you, Cullen?" and walked back to his desk.

For the first time since the semester started, he finally looked at me. _He was angry!-too bad, so sad. _I had not meant to make him look bad or embarrass him. I hissed at him, "What the hell is your problem?"

He just continued to glare at me. He actually moved his chair as far away from me as possible and faced the front for the rest of the class.

I only wanted to preserve my sanity and do my work and was not going to let my grade suffer because an egotistically-impaired jerk refused to own up to his part.

_I wish he would just take me, ravage me, hurt me, and let me die happy already! It can't be as bad as this continual torture. Holy crap! Where did that come from? I need to get out of here now and not come back until my class is changed. _

I also had to admit to myself that I was hurt. Still mad, but hurt. I had found myself becoming attracted to him from the first day I'd seen him. But I never did anything about it because he is so way out of my league. I figured I could settle for being friends and maybe getting to know him. Maybe he could hang out with Alice and I sometime. Sigh. _Looks like that's a big fat zero. _I decided to employ the tactics of basic civility and see if that helped to tone things down a bit.

How does that saying go? Insanity is trying to do the same thing a different way and hope is succeeds? I was being so pathetic, yet I couldn't help myself. How could I get to know him since he appeared to hate me like month-old sauerkraut? I resolved to be calm and rational tomorrow when I saw him in class.

The next day I felt the familiar heat rising in my cheeks and sank as far down in my seat as was possible. The glare bored into me. I don't know how much more of this I could take. I wanted to jump up and scream in my loudest voice to stop staring at me. Of course that was not a good idea if I wanted to maintain invisibility status quo.

Friday. He just wouldn't quit! I could feel the heat from his glare and fought to keep back the tears that tried to gush out. I couldn't even look at him anymore. I repeat: this is a guy I barely know and can count on one hand the coherent sentences we have spoken between each other.

My request to transfer classes had been rejected. I sighed. _I think I'm in trouble._

I was upset with myself because I had started having really torrid dreams about him. Whenever they were outside of class I had started feeling a physical ache and knew it was time to stay away from him at all costs. It didn't stop the dreams though.

They made me feel restless and caged. The tension that had been building was becoming incredibly torturous with no relief in sight. The dreams would not let me go until they'd had their way with me. It just didn't make any sense. _They seem so real._

I was getting beyond frustrated; I needed to figure out something soon or I would end up imploding. I could see the headline, "Police Chief's daughter spontaneously combusts from extreme sexual frustration." _I am so insanely pathetic._

Relief. Sort of. Edward was away. For three whole days. Alice said that the weather predicted three days of sun which was practically unheard of in Forks and they decided it was a perfect time for the entire family to go camping.

They always stayed out of school on sunny days and did outdoor activities. I guess their parents were big on nature.

I sighed in resignation. Sadly it was hard to sleep when Edward was always in the back of my thoughts.

_Three long days….._

I needed to stop thinking about him and get some sleep! I'd had a previously unpleasant experience from using cold medicine as a sleep aid and did not repeat it. I tried to think of other options that did not involve sedatives or counting leaping sheep.

There was a time when Renee had suffered from a pretty serious case of anxiety and a _very_ particular fear of clowns. You would never see her at a circus. Her doctor had suggested that she try yoga and meditation to reduce at least some of the stress in her life.

Renee always had good intentions, but I always ended up being the one to remind her to meditate each night and get to her yoga sessions.

Sometimes I had to do damage control on my mother's behalf. That was the worst. I could deal with the clowns. _Bring it on, Bozo. I'll show you one hundred and one things you can do with a clown nose._

I couldn't remember the particulars of the meditation or if it even worked but found myself wondering if I should have paid attention to that one.

I also remembered someone saying that using the sleep function on a clock radio being very effective. Something about helping to distract your mind so you could fall asleep better. I was willing to try anything at this point. And of course the more I thought about it, the more anxious I got.

I tried a couple of stations before finding one that was tolerable. I found myself slowly relaxing, and was relieved that it might actually work. I tried not to concentrate on being away from him, but rather picturing his face when he returned to me. _Yeah, I wish._

**Chapter Notes:**

Any guesses where this is going to go? What would you like to see happen in this story? If you like it, please tell me why. If you don't I'd like to know that too. I can't become a better writer unless I get some feedback


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I play pretend.

Chapter 4

As she drifted off with Edward foremost on her mind, she vaguely recognized the song as she dozed. It was the chorus of Avril Lavigne's "Hot".

As she slowly sank deeper into sleep, she floated along with the song. It was playing softly in the background of her dream as an interesting scenario began to unfold before her… At first she saw nothing but black and hazy tendrils but then, a twisting path appeared and she stopped, debating what action to take.

She became aware of a pull…nothing she could put her finger on, but nevertheless a grip she could not escape. There were intermittent and miniscule streaks of light that broke through the density of the foliage.

She took a step forward. It was so silent, except for that music. It almost sounded like there were speakers in the trees, but the music was _everywhere_.

She continued to follow the path and stopped trying to fight the force pulling her. _Where am I going?_

She could see the mist clearing ahead of her, and it appeared to be a more open space. As she approached the edge of the darkness leading into light a sense of excitement started to overtake her.

_This is so Weird_.

The song continued to play around her over and over-just the same first verse and the chorus. It was getting louder but not from any particular direction. Bella thought it was a pretty good song and was really getting curious where she was being led.

The practical Bella would never have followed this path without question, even in a dream, especially not with music from nowhere blasting through the trees. She missed Edward. She had brief flashes of his lips on hers and felt the warmth spreading throughout her body.

She realized she had stopped. Somehow she knew that there was no danger in this place and it was safe to keep going. She could hear a whispered chuckle and as she broke through the mist and stepped into the clearing she got an absolute shock.

She was in their meadow, but it was different; very surreal. The colors were more brilliant than would normally be possible. It was warm and sunny with wildflowers scattered among the grass. Everything around her seemed to reflect that persistent song.

She heard a quiet chuckle again. It sounded so familiar. She looked around closely but found nothing. That invisible hand pulled her toward the center of the clearing.

She suddenly wished Edward were with her here. It was so beautiful, but without Edward something was always missing. She sat down and took a deep breath, taking in the heady scent of her surroundings. It just wasn't the same without him there. She longed to just lean into his cool quietness because it stilled her frantic emotions and kept her grounded. Still. Complete. Forever.

The volume of the music was gradually increasing and now appeared to be coming from across the meadow. Her head snapped up as she recognized where the chuckle was coming from and whose it was. _Edward! _

She smiled and she could just make out his figure entering the light from the dark shadows. His smile was melting into her soul and she was overwhelmed by his beauty. He was smiling and his skin was glowing; sparkling. This was getting interesting!

As she truly saw him her mouth gaped and if it were possible for her jaw to hit the ground it would have. It took all of her strength to remain upright as the scene unfolded before her. She could only stare at him as he approached her.

He was wearing faded jeans and a white shirt that was only half buttoned, revealing a good portion of his perfectly sculpted chest. As he approached her their eyes locked on each other and she felt that predictable warmth fill her cheeks. Suddenly her body was overcome with the need to explode into a white hot flame of want. It was a most delicious torture. She needed him.

A couple of phrases from that chorus began their crescendo. He was walking toward her-in _slow motion_. The lyrics of the music reverberated through her…the chorus ripping through her spine, gripping her, twisting her soul, bringing the surreal to life.

His eyes fluctuated between molten gold and brilliant emerald green as he came closer. Her breath quickened. _Oh my god, his eyes_. Their intensity encapsulated her entire being. She felt the blood rushing through her veins. She wanted to trace her tongue along his jaw line down his neck…

He reached his hand up and brushed his hair back out of his eyes and looked at her with passion and desire. She felt dizzy; the heat radiating from him came towards her as a wave that threatened to topple her. She wanted to rake her fingers through that hair and down his back…

She couldn't believe this perfect being was here for her. _Why did he choose me? _He was close, just steps away, radiating perfection. Here he was a god among the lowly mortals.

_Stop it, Bella; this is a dream-just go with it! _

He kneeled down to her, raising his hand to gently stroke the side of her face. "Bella," he whispered. She trembled at the sound of his voice and her need for him.

Her heart began to pound furiously in her chest. _"Edward…" _One hand traced its way down her neck and lingered on her shoulders. He slowly brought the other hand to her chest and placed it over her heart. She shuddered.

His icy hands slowly moved across her chest caressing her. His eyes showed such heat and longing. _This feels so real-is it possible? Please don't stop…please!_

"_Breathe, Bella," _his velvet voice whispered. She took a deep breath savoring his scent. His hands rose to take her face between his hands and gently leaned forward to softly place his lips on hers…_ "You are my life now."_

She wanted to stay frozen in that moment forever. She heard his rapid breathing and it took all of her control not to throw herself towards him and meld herself to him forever. He suddenly withdrew, removing his lips from hers. She reacted quickly to the painful withdrawal, throwing her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her. The fire in her soul had control and led the way.

She touched her lips to his, her tongue tracing along his bottom lip. He groaned and crashed his lips back into hers….Electricity shot through her entire being and her hands flew to his shoulders, gripping tightly to remain as close to him as possible. His hands roughly roamed over her body furious and frantic in their exploration.

She was overcome by an emotion she could not even name. _"I…I love you, Edward,"_ she gasped into his mouth. His cool breath ignited her passion even further, if that was even possible. She wanted to take him. Ravage him. Make him hers forever. She was heady with the elation that he was not stopping her. "Forever," she moaned. _Forever._

He rolled over so that they were lying facing each other. He didn't stop her as her fingers began to unbutton the rest of his shirt and it fell away, exposing his incredibly perfect torso. He was not stopping her. She reached over to touch him, feeling the smooth curves of his chest. His lips closed over hers. She reached down toward the edge of his jeans.

_Please don't stop me…._

"_Bella…" _She heard a distant voice calling her. _"Leave me alone!"_ she cried in her head. She found the top button of his jeans and fumbled with it, finally getting it undone. _Wait!_ She looked up into his eyes. She wanted to see his face. The colors started to fade back into hazy nothingness. "_Edward, where are you?" _

"_Bella, can you hear me?" _She was being pulled away from the meadow._ "No, I don't want to go…"_

Even though she could not see him she heard him as the music quickly faded…

"_You are my only love forever"…._And her eyes opened.

It took her a moment to realize that she was in her bed. It was still dark and her clock read 3:30 am. _Ugh. Why did I wake up?_

She tossed the covers back, sat up and ran a hand through her hair. It was damp and clung uncomfortably to the back of her neck. She stood up and walked across the cold floor, through the hall and to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and saw a mess of damp hair. _That was some dream!_

She took a damp cloth and wiped her face and neck. She had to take a shower. She pulled her hair into a simple braid to keep it off her neck and giving one last look in the mirror turned on the shower and stepped into its calming spray.

She was not aware of how long she stayed in, but she was relaxed and back in control when she came out. She was tired enough that she should have no trouble going back to sleep without the radio. She toweled off and walked back into her room and got a fresh T-shirt out and slipped it over her head.

She got back into bed and pulled her covers back up. She was disappointed when she realized she would not be going right back to sleep. Scenes from her dream repeatedly came to the forefront of her thoughts.

She didn't understand what was happening and decided that if it didn't stop by the time Alice came back she would need to talk to her about it. She could not go on like this. She needed her friend.

She was suffering and was always left with a need that could not be satisfied. The details of her dream resurfaced and she allowed herself to think over them.

The radio was a good idea. _My god, talk about dreaming in stereo!_

Except that she woke up. _Why did I have to wake up? _

She lay back down and pulled the covers up over her head. She concentrated on drifting off to sleep.

As she fell back into sleep she heard a quiet voice whisper, "Bella? Bella, are you ok?"

It was Edward.

He came across the room and sat beside her on the bed. Her dream came rushing back to her with a force strong enough to make her gasp. Edward pulled her to his chest. "Bella, answer me please. Are you ok?"

She felt his lips softly make contact with her forehead causing her to shiver. "You were calling my name. Bella?"

She didn't care why he was there, or for how long. Obviously it was enough to catch the last of her sleep talking. She clung to him desperately, her body still responding to the dream she'd had.

She sat straight up and gasped. "Edward Cullen, what are you doing in my house?" She got mad. Who did he think he was? "Why are you doing this to me? Who the hell do you think you are? How did you get in here? You arrogant prick! Can't you just leave me alone? Christ, you don't even know me!"

She screamed, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" and then collapsed back onto the bed. The force of her emotions frightened her. She was feeling a thousand things at once. He just sat there looking unearthly beautiful. He looked sad and _afraid_.

"Edward, I am so sorry. Please don't leave." That was the defining moment where she could never again deny how she felt about him.

He asked, "What were you dreaming about?"

She murmured, "I was dreaming in stereo…"

She managed to look into his eyes and it was over. She thrust herself against him clinging to his coolness and burst into desperate sobs of agony. She could no longer bear it.

Feather light sensation of his tongue tracing the outside of her lips.

She shivered as a flash of heat spread through her body.

Her back arched as she rose up, and her hands reached to grasp the sides of his face. With all her strength she roughly pulled his lips to hers.

She kissed him with all the passionate ferocity from her dream, desire consuming her, not focusing on anything but touching him.

He was not prepared for her attack. His response was immediate. Lips crashed in return and melded together, furiously battling for control.

With a groan he roughly pushed her down into the mattress and she gasped as his hands slid over the front of her shirt, savagely ripping it in half.

As he pulled himself up to rest his body above hers, he used one arm to pin hers above her head and held them there. Her torn short fell away from her chest, revealing her body to him.

She was held within exquisite icy bonds while the fire raged within her. She arched against him with all her might, desperately seeking contact between their bodies.

She was ruled by her raging need; the need to quench the fire. To quench her need for him.

Her chest ever so softly grazed against his and she heard a deep throaty rumble from within his chest.

Her need. His need. Their need.

She moaned as his lips slid away from her mouth, his frigid tongue tracing its way up to her earlobe. Then he slowly ran down the side of her neck stopping at the base of her throat, groaning at the pulsating blood rushing through her veins.

He gently nipped the sensitive spot and between her ragged breaths, she gasped, "Edward, I need you... please... please. Touch me…"

And he stopped. With a fierce growl he flew backwards, jumping away from the bed and across the room in one smooth motion in a frantic attempt to put space between them.

His eyes glowed crimson. Like he was someone else_? _

_What the hell is happening to him? Shit! It's not Edward! What is that? This is NOT my Edward!_

He was shuddering uncontrollably. "Edward?" She cried "Edward!"

This was not the Edward she knew! A slow smile spread across his lips; a frightening smirk. He took a step toward her.

_A predator_. He took another step. _A predator!_ His movements were precise and graceful; stealth-like, smooth and deadly. He was stalking his prey.

_Is he hunting me? This is not right! This can't be happening!_

"No, Edward, no- you can't do this," she began shaking her head slowly.

"Edward, no…no…you….I…we…no…no…no..." her voice died down to a barely audible whisper. "No…no…no…no…no…my sweet Edward…no..."

His cruel laughter echoed in her head as she struggled to comprehend what was about to happen.

She shrieked, "_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?"_

She saw him hesitate. He looked at her face again, assessing her, cold and calculating, not looking at her as his Bella, but as his prey. For the first time she allowed herself to acknowledge the terror that had completely engulfed her.

With a guttural snarl he spit, "I am something from your darkest nightmares, Isabella. They say that we don't exist but yet here I am. I am a vampire."

He continued, "Your blood sings to me. I have tried with all my power and strength to fight it, and can no longer do so. You have undone me and I hate you. For that you are going to die. Now, you will cease to exist. Welcome to hell."

Her mouth dropped open at the vehement revelation-she couldn't believe what she'd just heard. But here it was in front of her_. I will not give up_. She loved him and somehow still trusted that he loved her too. She had one last chance.

Almost simultaneously questions began to rapidly fire off somewhere in the back of her mind.

_Was Alice a vampire? _

_Were they all vampires?_

_Did they know he was here?_

_How many people have they killed? _

_Had he been planning this the whole time? _

_Is there any way I can survive this? _

_And Charlie-what will happen to Charlie! _

_This isn't real….this can't be real….isn't real…..oh no…it's really over..._

"Edward, I love you -please come back to me! PLEASE!" she sobbed. He took one step back and settled into a crouch.

Her voice trailed off as she whispered. "Don't you love me?" His eyes glittered. She could not see any traces of who he had once been.

They seemed to glow brighter as he quickly reassessed his surroundings. He grimaced with anticipation and Bella could actually see something pooling in his mouth, starting to drip down at one corner. _It's not supposed to be this way!_

"_EDWAARD- NO-NNOOOO!" _

With a feral snarl, he turned toward her and launched. In mid-air his body suddenly twisted, throwing himself into the wall. She heard him thud into it, leaving several cracks in the plaster next to her bed.

_Where the freak was Charlie, and why couldn't he hear this?_

In an infinitesimal second, he crouched again and spun around to face her. The tears started to roll down her already swollen face again. She quietly sobbed as he inched closer toward her in his agitated state.

She could actually smell the sweetness of his scent radiating off him mixed in with intense hatred. She hoped that whatever he had planned to do to her would be over quickly.

She ultimately resigned herself to the fact that she was not going to survive this. This creature was focused only on her death.

_Poor Charlie,_ she thought_, he just got me back…_

Something had taken over Edward and he was not human. He was a monster. Edward was gone. He launched toward her again and flew over to the other side of her room landing silently on his feet.

_Is he toying with me before he kills me_? _Just get it over with!_

He slightly hesitated, locking eyes with her. She couldn't look away from him –those terrifying eyes held her powerless to do anything. She whispered "Please…"

_Hear me, Edward. HEAR ME!_

She felt the edges of her sanity start to slip. It reminded her of falling sideways and she was getting dizzy, hoping that she would lose consciousness before he killed her.

He was moving around her. A step closer, a step back; she sensed that the time was coming. She just wanted it to be over. _Over._

Strangely enough, she hoped he would forgive himself when it was over and realized what he'd done.

She hoped his family would help him through it and that he would not try to commit vampire suicide. If there was such a thing.

A growl fueled by bloodlust burst forth from his throat, followed by a snarl filled with hatred. She saw his powerful muscles coil and tense as he went down into his final crouch.

She swayed, unable to remain upright.

He leapt one last time. She closed her eyes and waited for the pain and savage death she would surely suffer at his hands.

It did not come. She opened her eyes just in time to see him crash through her bedroom window and into the dark.

The glass shattered, exploding in all directions, and she sat in stunned silence. She started to shake uncontrollably, her heart racing along with her breathing.

She felt something start to rip through her body with an unstoppable force. It started from the base of her spine raging upward and as it reached her throat she threw her head back….

Bella awoke screaming.

**Chapter Notes:**

I changed to a 3rd person POV for Chapters 4 & 5 because I thought the overall flow was better. Any comments? Any suggestions as to what you'd like to see happen? Do tell! The more the merrier! Please review! I can't become a better writer without your feedback! Have a great week everyone! And thanks to those who have reviewed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: All things Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. I am just having some fun.

Chapter 5

Fear gripped Charlie in his subconscious state. He knew something was wrong and forced himself to wake up. He heard wailing, bone chilling screams erupting from Bella's room across the hall.

He instantly flew out of his bed and automatically grabbed his weapon that was always on his nightstand. Running across the hall in his boxers he crashed through her bedroom door, knocking it loose from its hinges.

His eyes adjusted to the dimness quickly as he surveyed the room for intruders. Her bedroom window had shattered inward and slivers of glass shining like diamond were all over the floor. Finding none visible he turned his eyes to the bed and carefully made his way closer to her bed.

Something was very wrong. Some unseen terror had his daughter in its grasp. "Bella? " He approached the bed slowly as he noticed the depth of what had and was still happening to her. She was lying down curled into herself, twitching, convulsing, and screaming.

She would sit straight up and frantically look up above her bed at the wall, to the window, and would collapse back down. She seemed to be a bit more subdued for the moment and lay unmoving with her eyes taking on a blank unfocused look. She began to turn pale which Charlie recognized as shock and spurred him into action. He raced to her bed and placed a hand on her ice cold arms. He bent over to her and in the calmest voice he could manage. "Bells?" No response except that the uncontrollable twitching started again. "Bella, can you hear me honey?" Her mouth opened as if she was trying to scream, but nothing came out. Then her eyes rolled back into her head.

Charlie was scared now as he realized he had no idea of what was happening to her. He knew he needed help and fast. She was sitting straight up and rigid. The only way he would be able to describe it later is to say that it was the most horrible expression of absolute terror he had ever seen.

He raced to the rocking chair by her bed that had a solid quilt lying on it. He grabbed and raced back to Bells. He covered her and quickly lifted her to to him and secured her to his chest.

Then the delirious, desperate shrieks started again. This time they did not stop. "BELLA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?" he shouted. All he could hear was the deafening noise.

Charlie had seen a lot in his years on the force, but nothing compared to this. The look of terror on his daughter's face shot through his heart and it frightened him. He pulled her into a guarded embrace. "Bella, it's ok. It's ok, I've got you". He repeated it like a mantra. He automatically started looking for signs of any physical trauma. Seeing none, he allowed himself a moment of relief.

She struggled against his hold, kicking, biting, and pushing as if she were fighting for her life. "BELLA," Charlie yelled, "WAKE UP!" His mind was numb. He laid her back down on the bed to see if he could wake her up. If she was even asleep.

This time he gently shook her with no response. Her eyes were frozen open, blankly staring, and she was still screaming. He was afraid to leave her but he knew she needed more help than he could give.

He saw her cell phone on the nightstand and dialed 911. He continued to rock her in an attempt to soother her.

"_911, what is your emergency?''_

He quickly explained the situation to the operator and gave her the address before hanging up and turning his attention back to Bella.

She had stopped fighting him and her screaming was raspy. Her voice had started to go hoarse from the abuse of her vocal chords.

Charlie wasn't worried, he was _terrified_.

_What is happening to her? Who did this to her? Did she take any drugs? She was safe here! I am supposed to protect her! _

_Where is that ambulance? _

Almost as if a switch had been flipped, Bella collapsed without making a sound, losing consciousness and going limp. Charlie almost sighed with relief.

Silence. Now she was too quiet.

Charlie wrapped her up back up in the blanked and held her for a minute before lifting her up into his arm again and carried her down the hall and to the stairs. He tightened his protective grip on her and made his way carefully down the stairs. He gently laid her on the couch to wait for the ambulance to arrive.

His thoughts could not be held at bay any longer. _Oh God, my baby-she's got to be ok… she's so pale… her breathing isn't right either… she looks like she is going into shock. Why?_

Charlie's training automatically kicked in. He treated her for basic shock and started silently swearing at the ambulance that should have arrived by now.

He saw the flashing lights in his peripheral vision as he checked her pupils. Her face was getting paler by the minute and her breathing was becoming rapid and shallow. She was growing weaker.

_Christ, what's happening to her? I can't lose her-don't leave me! Fight, Bella-Please whatever is, FIGHT! Don't. Leave. Me. _He pleaded silently.

Her lips were starting to turn blue and her eyes had rolled back into her head, her body starting to spasm and convulse-stronger this time.

The paramedics banged on the door and Charlie yelled for them to come in, as he had unlocked it when he brought Bella downstairs. They rushed to Bella's side, shoving Charlie aside, putting distance between them.

They fired questions at Charlie in rapid succession. Any illnesses? Drug use? Allergies? Any unusual behavior? Had she been depressed? Any recent boyfriend breakups? Unusual stress?

Charlie was getting irritated with the questioning. He cut them off and told them to worry about getting her to the hospital. Her condition was rapidly deteriorating.

As they worked over her, continuing their initial assessment, he gave them the limited information he had. Her vitals-blood pressure respiration and temperature all started to drop at once. For some unseen reason she was critical and crashing. They needed to transport her immediately.

A heavy weight fell over him as he realized the possibility that he could actually lose her. He would need to call Renee as soon as they reached the hospital.

They lifted her onto the gurney, covered her with a blanket and secured it with straps. Charlie's eyes stayed on her the whole time.

Charlie was not surprised to feel the eyes of concerned neighbors that he was sure had heard the screaming.

One of them offered to call Billy for him but Charlie mumbled "No thanks" and climbed into the ambulance.

_*****************(break)*******************_

The ride took only minutes, but it seemed like hours. Charlie had never felt so helpless. Bella remained unconscious for most of the ride, unnaturally still. It was like her body was there but nothing else. Just an empty shell.

Her movements again became frantic. Her body involuntarily began to fight against the straps on the gurney. Her breath instantly became rapid and hoarse. Her eyes flew open, rolled back again-unseeing, the expression of terror that he saw at the house returning. It sent a chilling shiver down his spine as his own panic resurfaced.

Her mouth opened as if to scream, but the only thing he made out over the blaring sirens was a whispered, "He...please no...no…." before she slipped back into unconsciousness. Except that it wasn't really slipping. She was there and then she wasn't.

As they pulled into the emergency bay, he wondered who was on call. Dr. Cullen might be there and felt a touch of uncertainty. He remembered the hushed gossip that had surrounded the Cullen family when they had first arrived.

He had initially been disappointed at the reception the Cullens had received and had tried to personally make up for it. He ended up having to admit to the fact that there was _something_ off about the entire family.

But Bella came first now and he needed to put any personal opinions aside because Dr. Cullen was most likely the only one who would be treating her.

He remembered that he would have to call Renee, but wanted to wait until he had a good idea of what had happened first. He was heavy with worry, anger, fear, and guilt. _What in god's name happened to her?_

She was rushed into the trauma unit due to the unknowns of her condition. Charlie breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Dr. Cullen was out of town for a few days and could not be reached. His relief was short lived, however when he found out that Dr. Cullen was currently the only physician on staff who dealt with this kind of trauma and therefore he would be paged.

After several hours passed, Charlie was ready to use his police authority to get some answers. Just as he was getting ready to make some demands a doctor called Charlie into one of the family consultation rooms.

"Chief Swan, I am Dr. Montoya and I will be treating Isabella until we can reach Dr. Cullen. I want to let you know that we were able to stabilize her. The convulsions have stopped for now. Her vitals are improving. We still don't know what caused it or what it is at this point. We did have to sedate her and continue to use the restraints-for her own safety. "

Charlie's head snapped up at that. "Does she really need them? She's not crazy you know, just well, a teenager going through teenage things…" he dropped his head in sorrow. "Chief Swan, this is standard procedure for any patient showing the type of seizures she's been having. It's a safety precaution for both patient and staff. We will remove them as soon as it's safe to do so."

Charlie finally looked up and read the doctor's tag for the first time. It read, '_Dr. Montoya_, Psychiatric Unit'. Unfortunately that did not surprise him. He bent over placing his head in his hands. Finally he looked up at Dr. Montoya.

"When can I see her?" Charlie asked.

"She's being admitted to a bed right now. You do need to know that she is being admitted to the psychiatric unit for the next 36 hours. One of our staff psychiatrists will be talking to her at some point. Do you have any questions?"

Dr. Montoya looked kindly at Charlie. Charlie liked his manner and hoped he would be able to help Bella. He also hoped there was a bona fide physical reason for all of this.

He tried to reassure Charlie that Dr. Cullen was the most qualified Physician/surgeon employed there and was highly skilled in many areas of treatment. Charlie looked him in the eyes and simply stated, "She isn't crazy".

He tried to console Charlie as tears began to flow down his cheeks against his will. "We're going to run some tests-MRI, CT SCAN, and a few neurological tests. If she improves with no problems she should be released onto a less restrictive floor in a few days."

"When can I see her?" he asked again. He wanted to see her with his own two eyes before he would even consider leaving. "I... I just need a few minutes with her."

"She will be in her room in about 10 minutes. A nurse from the psych floor will come and take you to her. She won't be conscious at this point. The sedatives we used were pretty strong. We need her body to rest."

Charlie just couldn't shake his anxiety and start to get frantic again. It had been over an hour this time and he was tired of pacing, standing, and feeling helpless. Again, he was tempted to use his police authority to get things moving.

The nurse finally showed up and Charlie quickly followed her to an elevator that looked like it was a hundred years old. _Just like everything else in Forks. _They had to go through a few different sets of locked and alarmed doors to get to the wing Bella was in.

He was going to ask the nurse about the alarms, but decided he probably already knew and didn't want to dwell on it. She turned to give him a comforting smile. "Mr. Swan, we are dedicated to all the patients here and will help your daughter as much as we can."

His heart sank at the confirmation that they thought her problems were psychological. "Thanks" was all he could say.

The nurse pointed the way to Bella's room. She had been changed into a hospital gown and had two different IV's running. The beeping of the cardiac monitor taunted him. He was surprised to see her in such a fragile state. Her skin was still pale and looked fragile.

In spite of everything, Charlie was still relieved. Bella had most of the color back in her lips and fingers. Her breathing had stabilized as well.

Her eyes fluttered open and shut involuntarily. He wanted to cry but fought the tears this time. Steeling himself, he sat down in the chair next to her bed to wait. _I need to be strong for Bells._

Bella slowly began creeping back to the surface. She felt a slight pressure on both of her arms. A floating sensation, not unpleasant, surrounded her.

She felt disconnected from her body. She heard whispers in the hall outside her door and she felt cool hands adjusting something connected to her hands. She fell back into a dreamless sleep.

She wanted to wake up. She heard the annoying beep of her alarm clock and reached over to hit the snooze button.

Unable to move, something was holding her down. She started to panic. She heard Charlie's soothing voice but couldn't make out what he was saying. He had not left her side for the last 18 hours except to call Renee, who immediately made arrangements to get there as fast as possible.

She slowly tried to open her eyes but flinched at the brightness of the lights. She tried to sit up and saw the restraints. Her eyes were clearing up but were still a bit unfocused. She was confused because there was a red tint to everything.

Her eyes made contact with Charlie's and she spoke for the first time since getting to the hospital. He forgot what he was going to say to her as his face registered shock as their eyes met.

"Charlie?" She whispered, "What's wrong? What happened? Where am I? Why am I in restraints?"

**Chapter Notes:**

A couple of questions came up as to whether or not Bella has connected Edward to the faces in her dreams. No she has not. (Yet). Also want to let you know that Bella's memory lapses are intentional. I appreciate every review that I get. This chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: S. Meyer owns Twilight; these are just simple musings of a modern misfit….

Chapter Six

"Bella? Are you alright?" Charlie asked, relief visibly showing in his expression. "You had some kind of seizure and you're in the hospital."

Renee began to cry. "Thank god, Bella. Baby, they have to keep the restraints on for a bit longer in case you have another seizure."

"Mom, really I feel tired. Just tired, not sick or anything-well, my head hurts," I said. _I really needed to be out of these restraints._ I started to feel a bit claustrophobic. I couldn't open my eyes. They felt so heavy and I didn't have the energy to open them anyway.

I started to drift again but could still hear parts of what my parents were saying.

"_I don't want her to be alone." _

"_She won't be alone." _

"_Maybe she should come back with me."_

"_I just got her back."_

When another wave of drowsiness came, I let it take me.

I floated in a kind of nothingness. It was white and nondescript, having no elements of my recent sleep experiences. My mind would not allow me to wake up completely; rather to come near the surface before pulling me down again. Something would happen if I fully woke up. Something… bad? I didn't know anymore.

So I slept. My body felt stiff, like I'd been out for a long time. Renee and Charlie were still talking their voices quiet and tired with worry.

_Where am I? I can't remember._

I felt someone gently hold my hand and I heard Renee crying, trying to talk to me, but I could not process what she was saying.

_Why is Renee here? Things are so foggy. I feel so strange._

With no warning I began to sink into a dark turbulent tunnel filled with whispers that were almost audible. Every once in awhile, I could hear my name amidst the indiscernible echoes surrounding me.

I tried to fight my way back to the surface because I felt like I was suffocating, yet at the same time I knew that the tunnel itself was safe. It was the destination that was frightening; the unknown. I had to push against the current to keep myself from being pulled down so far that I would not be able to come back.

The pressure holding me down was heavy and soulless, weighting my body. I could not move my arms or legs. My throat hurt and felt like it was filled with sandpaper. I was not able to open my eyes. They felt like they had been sealed shut somehow.

Was I dreaming again? My dreams lately made me feel trapped inside of them while other times they played over and over, shifting in to different ones-I tried so hard to get out of them but they held me prisoner.

The recurring result of these dreams was a primal need to be with whomever it was that possessed those topaz eyes and bronze hair. He filled me with dread and terror. But I still wanted him and _needed_ him. It just didn't make any sense.

He seemed so familiar to me, but I really couldn't think much at the moment. I was just carried along the waves of the dreams. Or rather, I was hanging on for dear life while riding out the violent parameters of my nightmares.

I started to cry hysterically. I just didn't understand where I was or why I could not fully wake up. How do I get out of here? Had my dreams driven me to a madness from which I could not escape? I filled with dread, wondering if I had actually gone insane.

_I have to wake up. I NEED to wake up before I get lost._

_How long have I been here? Where is here?_

Dreams… They were vague and distant, intense and ethereal. I felt a sense of relief followed by… I couldn't name it. Fevered and passionate dreams. I remember darkness, shadows that almost seemed real. I dreamed of my window. I remember the crystal stars that fell into my room. I hear music. The music in my mind changes in pace with the dreams I am in. Forms that take shape, almost substantial but fleeting.

A meadow flashed in its surreal beauty. I had the strangest feeling that I'd been there with someone. Who? I know that when I wake up I am supposed to find this place-I _have _to find this place. Answers will be there.

An Angel has come to talk to me in my dreams-she visits me a lot. She has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. She comes to visit me when it's quiet and holds my hand. She gives me a kiss on the forehead. She says she is here to keep me safe.

_Safe. Why do I need to be safe? Is someone after me? _

_I remember! I need to get away! Run! Bella RUN!_

I fought again to sit up and started to panic because something was holding my arms and legs down… I tried to pull and kick against my captors to no avail. I screamed as loud as I could with my damaged voice in a familiar terror. "GET AWAY FROM ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME-HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

He's come back for me. I was sure he had tied me up to come back and torture me. It would be a painful death for sure. How could I be awake and dreaming at the same time? Is it possible to die in a dream?

I heard the angel in my ear with her cool breath telling me that it was ok, that nothing was going to get me. I felt another set of hands on my arm and felt something like a bee sting.

Everything started spinning; again I succumbed to the darkness that was becoming my new reality. Relief. Sanctuary.

I dreamed of beautiful crystal diamonds falling down around me in my room, but this time the diamonds cut me and I bled. I became lost. I had no sense of time or space. I gave up fighting and assumed this was my fate. I vaguely remembered snarls and growls like a wild animal would make.

Eventually and ever so slowly the darkness gave way and lightened to various shades of gray. The whispers dissipated and the suffocation stopped. As I rose to meet the light I continued to hear my angel speak to me. She sounded like she was crying.

As I came closer to consciousness I continued to have brief flashes of topaz eyes in addition to my bedroom window. The eyes started changing color from topaz to crimson and back. I heard a roar and snarls behind me but I knew that this time I was going to escape by following the warmth of the spreading light.

I was supposed to remember something, but it remained irritatingly out of my reach. If I tried to focus, the suffocating feeling came back. Flashes of a meadow…topaz eyes…love and _fear_; mind numbing fear, endlessly trying to grasp at me. I had no idea if it was day or night.

I heard voices again. _Charlie? _One voice sounded like Renee. When did she come to visit?

I still felt weighted down, but not as heavy as before. I released a croaked moan and the voices stopped. I felt the same cool hands embrace me and started to stroke my face; my_ angel_.

As I tried to wake up I heard a cracking sound, like ice being released from a glacier. A void suddenly tore open around me and I found myself standing on the edge of a cliff looking across a great chasm.

There were deep rumblings in the clouds overhead while lightning launched its violent tendrils across the darkened sky. The wind began to encircle me whipping faster and faster. I lifted my hand to wipe the hair from my eyes and froze. Glowing red eyes leered at me from across the chasm where the darkness encroached on the fading light from the approaching storm.

Clouds were swirling down toward me-almost like they were reaching for me and I felt like someone was watching me. Then I heard the whispers. They were different this time, not full of desire and passion. They were filled with a cold and dark malevolence. I looked around to see what my options of escape were. There was only one.

I was filled with terror as the whispers that were calling my name sounded closer. I was determined that they would not catch me this time. I was filled with the need to run, but there was nowhere to run to. Without thinking I launched myself over the edge into the chasm.

I felt the exhilarating feeling of the wind against my skin as I fell. It was strange because the sense of terror and panic left the instant I jumped. Ok, this had to be a dream because I noticed that I was wearing big fuzzy pink unicorn slippers. If I was awake I am sure that what I was wearing would be the last thing on my mind. Then I suddenly and painlessly reversed direction, almost like being lifted and started to fall _upwards. _

I ascended up above the edge of the chasm from which I'd jumped. The speed of my ascent was increasing. As I continued to rise I caught glimpses of unknown faces. When my surroundings began to fade I realized that I did recognize two of them: Alice and Edward. Alice was reaching for me, her arms outstretched and Edward's face wore his normal expression-glaring and angry.

When I reached Alice' arms, everything disappeared. I jumped as I felt something cool being pressed on my forehead, cheeks, and neck. It felt good against my parched skin. I was finally waking up!

I was able to hear the voices distinctly now-Charlie, Renee, Alice, and a man's voice that I did not recognize. I heard monitors around me and a familiar smell burned in my nostrils as I recognized the scent of industrial disinfectant.

_Why was I in a hospital?_

I must have experienced a 'Bella Special'-an event of clumsiness that required hospitalization. It was not exactly a rare happening for me, but it was never this severe. I probably fell down my stairs. I couldn't remember anything. _Weird._ I would ask Charlie.

"What happened?" My question came out in a hoarse whisper. I felt so weak. I tried to open my eyes again and finally realized that they had been bandaged.

_Boy I must have really done it this time… I wonder who I tried to take out with me?_

"Bella?" Charlie asked. "Bella, honey, are you awake?" I heard the relief in his voice.

"Charlie, why can't I open my eyes?" I asked him. My voice was slightly stronger so I kept going. "Why can't I move?

Charlie gushed, "Bella, I am so glad you are awake. We were so worried…"

"What did I do this time? The stairs?" I was truly curious since I had no memory of whatever it was that I had done.

I heard a deep voice similar to the musical one in my dreams talking to me. "Bella," he said. "I am Dr. Cullen and I am treating you while you are here. Now that you are awake I can remove the patches over your eyes."

"Why were they patched?" I was hoping I hadn't injured them.

"You suffered multiple capillary ruptures in both eyes. I want to warn you that they will have a dark red bloodshot appearance that will resolve on its own eventually. It could take awhile depending on how your body decides to heal.

"Oh…" was all I could say.

_********************(break)************************_

I was so very lost. I had been released from the hospital after 3 days of boredom. I hated staying in bed.

I found out that the night I was hospitalized, Charlie had called Renee and she had immediately flown in from Jacksonville. She argued with Charlie that I should go back to Florida with her but he adamantly refused.

He knew that Renee was not capable of the specific care and meticulous supervision that my recovery would require. Ironically, if this had happened a month ago, he would have insisted that I go with Renee, being too afraid to even consider taking on the responsibility.

Although I had only lived with him for a short time, his paternal instinct had resurfaced in full force and he would fight to keep me with him at all costs.

He had a glimpse of what had been lacking between the two of us and was determined to fill in the gaps as best he could. He desperately wanted to make things up to me-he just didn't know where to start.

Now that I was home I worked very hard to make it seem like I was alright: going to school, doing my chores, and doing basically the same things I had done before the breakdown, or whatever it was. But I refused to talk about it.

I had to find a place to think. I was raw and felt like my soul had disintegrated. The anchors holding me to this life had been all but shredded. My eyes were empty and void of light.

I was basically an empty shell-a walking skeleton. My skin had always been pale, but now held a sickly sallow tone-I was only going through the motions of living and didn't care.

I had worked very hard to create the illusion of normalcy, but it took most of the strength I still possessed. I did not want Charlie to suspect that I was still so unstable because he would not hesitate to hospitalize me again.

When I'd first come home I couldn't go near my bedroom window and Charlie would have to check my room for me before I could go to bed. Every little noise made me jump. Often he would wake up and find me curled up and sleeping in a corner of his room.

Slowly those episodes receded and I was able to be more convincing with my charade. But I couldn't fool Alice. To her credit, she never pushed me, but I kept pushing her away. I began to avoid her as much as possible. Something about her had started to bother me.

The only thing that I really noticed was that Edward hadn't showed up for biology since I'd returned to school. I didn't miss the glare but I did miss him being there. Strangely enough, it felt like part of me was missing.

_Well, most of my mind is MIA, so why not add to the misery…_

I found myself looking over my shoulder in apprehension each time I entered the hall between classes. I was sure by now that the entire population at Forks High thought I was a psychotic freak.

Finally, Alice began to keep her distance. Once I caught her with Jasper in the hall staring at me with confused expressions. Alice threw up her hands and turned away with Jasper reaching after her.

I was losing the ability to keep my charade. Everything around me was surreal. I know I didn't want to go back to any hospitals and Charlie begged me to see a therapist. I agreed to one visit in which I didn't talk much, just answered the woman in brief statements. She wrote a lot and I felt very uncomfortable. I never went back and Charlie never mentioned it again.

I went through the motions of everyday habits: eating, showering, school, homework, and walking in the woods surrounding my house. It was the one place that my mind and spirit were able to relax and revel in silence.

There was tension building at home but I didn't want to confront it. Charlie stopped asking me if I was ok a few days after coming home. The one thing I asked him to do was to board up my window. He refused to do that, but did move a large dresser in front of it. I guess he considered that blocked.

He figured that I'd want my window back as the weather got warmer.

He was so wrong.

**Chapter Notes:**

Thanks to all of you who are sticking with this strange and quirky tale.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns the Saga. I am just playing with figments of my imagination.

**Chapter Seven**

I couldn't avoid the fascination that now surrounded my window. I was almost ready to move the dresser, but a tinge of fear still lingered deep within me. I'd start to move it and would only make it about four inches before my body started to shake and wouldn't stop until I'd pushed it back.

I also decided it was time to put the mirrors back into my room.

When I came home from the hospital, I had taken a look at myself in the mirror on my wall, and immediately punched it, causing it to shatter. This, of course, resulted in Charlie freaking out and another trip to the ER for me.

Fortunately, Dr. Cullen was there. I really liked him - he never asked me stupid questions or lectured me about safety. He just made me feel _safe. _I winced as he injected a local anesthetic. He worked quietly and quickly as he cleaned and then began stitching the jagged wounds.

I wasn't sure what Alice had told him about me, so I refrained asking how she was. After he finished stitching, he bandaged my hand and offered me a prescription for pain, which I declined. I was out of it enough as it was, from taking my sleep medication. I did not want to declare open season on my dopamine levels.

As he left the room, a nurse came in with an ice pack and home-care instructions. I grabbed my jacket and went to the front desk to check out. As Charlie signed me out, Dr. Cullen stopped for a minute and turned to look at me. His gaze was gentle but incredibly intense. I found it difficult to keep eye contact.

He gently suggested that removing all the mirrors from my room for a couple of weeks would not be unreasonable. He must have understood how awful it was to see my bloodshot eyes reflected back to me. Also, to my relief, he didn't say anything about the fifteen stitches I'd received either.

School was still a struggle, but had settled into a basic routine. I only mumbled vaguely when asked questions by my teachers, and fortunately, they didn't call on me that often. My grades had stopped dropping and were slowly making a turnaround. I was really starting to regret pushing Alice away though, and wanted to try and reconnect with her. Edward always lingered at the edge of my thoughts. Yes, it was definitely time to talk to Alice.

With my bloodshot eyes and bandaged knuckles, I am sure I looked like a crazed insane monster. I did have to allow myself a chuckle - with all the stares I'd received at school I'd briefly thought about carrying around a giant crucifix just to see what happened.

I caught bits and pieces of conversations from students in the hall as I shuffled between classes. My thoughts again drifted back to Alice. I_ missed_ her. I desperately wanted to talk to her, but had no idea where to start.

I had avoided her in class for so long, I wasn't sure what her response would be if I tried to make first contact in a confined setting. I figured maybe I'd try to catch her after school in a less confined environment. (Translation: so that I wouldn't feel like a rat trapped in a cage if the conversation became uncomfortable.)

I was incredibly relieved that the nightmares had stopped. I was fairly certain the sleeping pills had something to do with that.

I couldn't remember any recent dreams at all actually, and that was a welcome change. I would wake up disoriented. I had occasional brief glimpses of images just as my eyes would open. My mind had blocked most of them out, and I wasn't sure I wanted to remember them.

_*******************(break)**********************_

Charlie had started to encourage the walks through the woods I'd recently started taking, as long as I stayed on the main path and reasonably close to home. I think he was glad to see me doing anything that would get me out of the house.

There had been a few reports of several large dogs spotted near the path deeper in the woods, so Charlie had given me pepper spray along with his paternal concern.

My walk was peaceful and temporarily quieted the restlessness in my mind. I didn't get any resolution to anything, but the rustling of my feet on the leaves and moss soothed me. I sighed. _Well, at least I can look forward to talking to Alice tomorrow. _With that thought, I turned to go home.

The next morning I walked into class prepared to break the ice and wouldn't you know it - Alice wasn't there._ Well there goes nothing. _Then I remembered that her family was generally absent when Forks had those rare sunny days. And today was one of the sunniest days in recent memory. I vaguely remember her telling me about a cabin out in the middle of nowhere that they escaped to for family time.

I realized that as much as I missed Alice, I really had never gotten to know her. Part of me admitted that I really wanted to. I'd never had any close friends and was feeling an unfamiliar emptiness.

Thinking back on my hospitalization, I had imagined that Alice was in the hospital visiting me, and asked Charlie about it. I only got vague answers from him - he didn't recall her being there.

I remember her crying and saying she was there to protect me. I wanted to ask her what from. I was having trouble sorting it all out. I realized that I needed to go to the woods and take refuge in my sanctuary. It was the one place that I could sit quietly and try to sort reality from the fantasy in my memory of the last few months.

I looked at the light that sporadically filtered down through the dense canopy. I had a clear flash in my mind of a meadow. Along with the flash was an urgency to find the meadow as quickly as possible. _Weird._

As nervous as I'd been, the thought of finding this meadow calmed me rather than evoked that anxiety that had been so present in my life these last few weeks. It was time to test my self-imposed boundaries.

_I can do this._

I tried to recall the meadow from my dream. I looked around but nothing stuck out. It all looked the same. I decided to just explore each direction a bit and see where it took me. I hoped to get lucky and recognize some hidden path that would take me there.

I wasn't getting anywhere, and the daylight was slowly fading. I wanted to keep trying and decided to go a bit longer. Having no success, I would have to come back tomorrow and search again. My resolve was coming back and I was determined to figure all of this out.

_I'll have to ask Charlie about it - maybe he knows where it is._

I hadn't been paying attention and realized that it had gotten dark. The woods were filled with an unseen menace. I imagined something watching me, waiting to grab me at my first misstep.

As I reached the edge of the woods that led to my yard, I heard the snap of wood and the panting of an animal, probably somebody's dog, which was out running around. I broke into a run heading for my house.

I quickly made my way across the front yard and up to the front door. I saw that the lights were on, but didn't see anyone in the living room. The door was unlocked and I went in. I heard two men speaking - Charlie, and a voice I did not recognize.

I hung up my coat and walked toward the kitchen. I was still a bit shy of strangers, and it had taken a lot of work for me to be in the same room with my classmates without jumping at every sound, let alone total strangers. Charlie never had anyone over which made tonight even more unusual.

As I came to the kitchen, I saw Charlie sitting at the table with a man that I vaguely recognized. He introduced himself as Billy Black. When I first arrived in Forks, I remembered that Charlie's best friend was Billy and that he had a son Jacob, who I'd played with many years ago. Billy had been busy with the commercial fishing season when I'd first arrived and hadn't had a chance to stop by with Jacob and renew acquaintances.

Turns out that Charlie had asked him to stay away until things had settled down with me after my "incident". _Some incident. Wonder if I'll ever actually give it a name?_

He was a gentle quiet man, with a kind face and ancient eyes; they oozed power and history. He completely intimidated me because he constantly watched me from the corner of his eyes - almost like he was looking for something.

Charlie informed me that Billy and Jacob would be coming over for a barbeque this coming weekend and that it was time for me to have some fun and renew some friendships. I knew he meant Jacob.

_Why does Billy keep looking at me? What is he looking for?_

It was starting to creep me out. I said that I was looking forward to seeing them this weekend, made my excuses, and went up to my room. I looked at my dresser and set the date. Tomorrow. Tomorrow that dresser was moving.

I heard them laughing downstairs as I went to carry out my nightly routine. I looked in the bathroom mirror and stared at the eyes looking back at me. They had gone from blood red to dark rust, and now were a medium pink. The whites were much more visible and were improving daily.

After showering, I toweled off and hurried back to my room. I took a deep breath and walked into my room before turning on the light switch. The moon was reflecting off my dresser and it appeared that a silver glow was flowing around it. It was quite beautiful actually. I stood mesmerized for what I guessed was a few minutes.

I took a few shaky steps towards the dresser and froze. The wind started up and the branches of the tree outside against my window were dancing and swaying. Although I couldn't actually see out, I could have sworn I saw the silhouette of someone sitting on the branch closest to the house. I gasped and turned to run for Charlie. I stopped myself and grabbed on to the doorframe, holding on to it so tightly that my hands started to cramp. _I can't keep living like this. I need to get it together. Enough. There is nothing there. Just the wind and the branches._

I willed myself to let go of the doorframe. I turned around to face the dresser and window. The branches were no longer swaying. All was exceptionally still and silent.

I walked over to my bed and pulled the covers back and sank with relief onto the mattress. I studied the prescription bottle on my nightstand and decided that I was going to try a night without taking my sleep medication.

_I will end up some strung out pill junkie if I keep this up._

I left the bottle within reach, just in case, and lay back, waiting for sleep to come. It was weird not having the drowsy wave come over me that had become so familiar.

My mind rambled around different things, images from before, feelings from after. Edward's face floated in and out. I was starting to feel the familiar elusive pull and secret attraction I'd felt for him. The room began to spin. It was coming back. The darkness. I started to panic and my hand flew toward the pill bottle.

My hand stopped as quickly as it had started. An image had appeared in my mind that was as calming as anything I'd ever experienced. My panic was gone as quickly as it had come. Surprisingly I found myself drifting off to sleep.

_I really need to have my head examined._

The image chuckled at my comment. The image was of Alice's smiling face.

_********************(break)**************************_

I dreamed that night.

Alice was talking to me. She told me how sorry she was that she couldn't protect me but that now everything would be alright. She missed me and couldn't wait to see me at school the next day. She said her family wanted to meet me because she'd told them so much about me. She said Edward was especially worried about me.

My memory blurred after that, and I didn't remember the exact conversation we had after that, but I was glad it was about Alice. When I woke up the next morning, I felt surprisingly alert. I had expected a withdrawal effect of sorts, from the sleep medication. It was comforting that Alice had been in my dreams, but the Edward factor was unsettling.

After its day of solar glory, Forks was back to its regular overcast and rainy state. I wasn't really bothered by it too much because it meant that I'd see Alice today. I was sure of it.

I got up and quickly got ready for school. I grabbed a bagel from the fridge, got out the door and to my truck just in time to see that my car windows had been left down. I sighed in frustration, and went back to the house to grab a couple of kitchen towels so that I could wipe my seats down.

I came back out the door to find a tall young man who could only be Jacob Black standing next to my truck. I don't know how I knew who he was, I just did. He looked at my truck, back at me, and then chuckled.

He reintroduced himself and we made silly small talk about playing when we were little and what we liked now. He offered me a ride to school since he was going that way anyhow, and he had the day off from school. I really didn't want to deal with any more wetness, so I reluctantly accepted.

I climbed into his VW Rabbit, closed the door and tried to pull my seatbelt over me. It was stubborn and refused to slide into place. Jacob leaned over in front of me and started to work the belt, eventually coaxing it to latch.

I couldn't help catching his scent as he was leaned over me. He smelt of wood smoke and earth. It was a pleasant smell, and I unconsciously took a deeper breath.

After he had me safely buckled in, he pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.

As we drove toward the school, he asked me about my life in Phoenix and how I liked it here. He made me feel comfortable, and I started to relax and actually have a normal conversation with him.

We pulled into the school and he pulled up to the curve so that I could get out. I thanked him for the ride. He offered to pick me up, but I secretly hoped Alice would be doing that, so I thanked him but declined his offer. He almost looked a bit sad. I told him I'd see him next weekend and stepped out of the car.

I heard the bell ring, so I said my goodbyes and ran toward the door. I didn't see the bricks piled beside the sidewalk, and being my graceful self, tripped over the edge of the pile and began my descent into another accident face first.

I heard my name being called from across the parking lot at about the same time a pair of strong hands came between the pavement and my face. I was a bit stunned as I was roughly pulled up from behind and deposited back on my feet. The hands quickly let go, and as I turned to thank whoever helped me, I saw Edward walking away. He didn't turn around. He just kept walking. It was so weird.

I looked over at Jacob in time to see an expression of fury on his face.

_What is up with that? _

I took a deep breath to collect myself. I straightened out my jacket as best as I could, rearranged my backpack, and walked into the school building. I got to class just as the tardy bell rang._ Made it._

Just as I'd hoped, Alice was sitting in her seat, head down reading something. As I walked by her desk, I slowed to say hi, but she reached up and grabbed my hand. She looked up at me with a big smile and said, "Welcome back. I missed you."

I felt an incredible sense of relief. "I missed you too, Alice. I have been a complete idiot. Can you forgive me? I have so much to tell you - and to ask you."

My eyes fell to the floor. She gave my hand a slight squeeze and I brought my eyes back up to meet hers.

"No apologies are necessary, Bella. All is forgiven. And I would love to see you today - can I give you a ride home?"

That was what I had hoped for. This would be a very interesting conversation.

**Chapter Notes:**

Nothing overly exciting this time around. Sigh. The classic transitional chapter in all its glory.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I just play with it.

Chapter 8

~Edward~

I remember when it first started. Vampires don't sleep. Ever. I have only felt whispered moments of weariness in my mind.

It didn't just come over me-it grabbed me and held me violently, paralyzing me. I could not move or escape. For the first time since my change I felt powerless. I'd taken it for granted that I was generally invincible for all intents and purposes.

I was sated from the savory thick blood of my kill. I'd just finished hunting and was taking time in the one place that had become a sort of personal sanctuary for me. It was a small, unobtrusive clearing and I had claimed it decades ago. It was also fairly quiet. But quiet was relative when you could hear a mouse fart.

The sun was just setting and I was getting ready to go home. As I stood I felt the wind gust and swirl around me.

_Strange._

Then I had the first vision.

It was shadowy, but intense. Long brown hair in a distorted and shimmering haze of even darker brown eyes. She was reaching toward me fading in and out of view, abstract, ethereal, and the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I felt electricity rock my body when her eyes focused on mine. Fire. Then it was gone.

It had only lasted for a few seconds. I had no idea what had just happened. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I could still feel the sensation of the electricity tingling in my fingertips. It was not unpleasant either. It felt…good, yet at the same time I felt a sense of emptiness.

I skimmed through the files in my mind for an explanation. The only one that remotely fit was that I may be developing a gift like Alice's. That was the only plausible explanation. I decided to run rather than take my usual easy pace home.

Something instinctive told me to slow. I was near the highway and usually didn't slow down for anything-I would jump or weave around whatever obstacle was in my way. But it was the smell that stopped me. _Wet dog. _Venom started to pool in my mouth.

I didn't usually have run-ins with the local Shape Shifters. With the treaty lines drawn we kept to ourselves. I heard muffled grunts and the smell magnified as the source approached. I tried to sense their location and number but was surprised that my senses were diminished. I was still numb from the vision. I stepped back from the road and into the cover of the forest to wait for whatever was going to happen.

_Shouldn't Alice have seen this? She could have warned me._

I knew they were Quileute by their size and scent. There were two of them and they stopped about 10 yards from me. I looked at their structure, admiring their fur. The biggest had russet brown fur with tips of black-a most beautiful and terrifying creature. I could see each individual hair and I was fascinated with how human-looking his eyes remained. How could one not admire the beauty of nature, even if the creature was unnatural?

The wolf with him was slightly smaller, but only by an inch or so. He was a silvery gray-almost like an arctic wolf but with a smoky shadow. His fur literally glowed as the moon reached through the trees as it rose for its nightly reign.

Out of instinct I immediately postured in to a slight crouch and looked for safe routes to make my exit if need be. These creatures were designed to kill us. Me.

The larger wolf went behind a tree and I heard a few grunts and some swearing. Then Jacob Black stepped out from behind the tree.

I knew it was him from the few meetings our families had held together. His lineage was strong. We had an uneasy truce at best. He was still trembling and shaking from the change. I was fascinated by the mechanics of it and at some point would have to discuss it with Carlisle. Jacob had a look of utter disgust on his face.

_I am faster than they are, but some things the treaty just can't change. _

The instinct to destroy each other was bred into us. If he gave me cause, I would gladly rip him to shreds. He repulsed me. He felt the same way about me as well. Didn't know why, but wasn't going to worry about it.

Jacob started to speak. "Listen, Cullen, we both know that I would rather be somewhere else. Obviously we aren't supposed to shift outside the treaty lines."

_Ok, so get on with it. I need to get to Alice and this 'history lesson' is unnecessary. _

"And I am involved why?" I sighed, trying not to sound uninterested. The venom had receded and I was back to my normal relaxed posture. But ready….

Jacob swore under his breath. His body started to quiver and it was obvious that he was fighting some very strong emotions.

_He really hates this. Silly pup. Why didn't Billy contact Carlisle about whatever this is? _

"I told you-I don't want to be here, but I don't have a choice. Not now. Others like you are coming."

_Others like me? _

We weren't expecting visitors. Alice hadn't said anything either.

_Probably nomads just passing through. I'll make sure to tell everyone._

I reached out to his mind. I saw images of a four-year-old girl with chin length hair and freckles. Another showed me the same girl but older this time. She was beautiful. She seemed familiar to me, but I knew I didn't know her because of my photographic memory.

His thoughts didn't make any sense to me, but I had to remember what, correct that, _who_ I was talking to. Obviously Jacob had heard from a neighboring tribe that there had been some recent nomad activity that was possibly heading our way.

"So what makes this so important that you had to intercept me instead of contacting Carlisle?" I was curious. I didn't mean to sound condescending, but judging by his reaction it was taken that way.

The second wolf huffed and Jacob's trembling increased. Jacob was losing control and was going to shift whether he wanted to or not. I could detect the change in his scent. I didn't think it could get any more offensive, but I was wrong. As his shape wavered and began to morph he managed to shout. "We'll be watching you, bloodsucker! Watch your back!"

_What? Oh please. He threatened me? He's sure arrogant for such a young dog. I wonder if it's a young wolf hormonal superiority thing?_

I waited until they had raced back into the deeper forest before turning around. I took a deep breath to clear the burning smell from my lungs. I had the strangest feeling we would be seeing more of each other and didn't know what to make of it. Definitely time to see Alice too. And I need to ask her about the vision.

Taking my first step to cross the highway I froze. She was standing there almost ghostlike in front of me. Her brown eyes. Her hair long enough to wrap her body. She was nearly transparent, but was trying to say something to me. I leaned closer straining to hear what she was trying to whisper to me.

I felt the pull towards her. _Who is she? _

"Fire and ice," she moaned. It could have been the wind, except for the depth and conviction of those words.

I remembered what I had seen in Jacob's mind.

_Is this a vision for me? Or for Jacob?_

Ok, visions or not I was going home to find Alice now. As I ran, I replayed the scenes in my mind. I felt a stirring deep inside me, like something long sleeping had been awakened. _Mine._

I slowed my pace as my house came into view. I stepped up onto the porch and it happened again. Completely unbidden the vortex took me.

My body was on fire and cooled with ice. Yearning. Wanting. _Needing._

_Aching, Burning, warmth against my skin...._

_Bodies-Intertwined and writhing… the blood… I can't let it take over._

_Voices-Whispered names…_

_Incoherent moans…_

_A velvet voice calling to me, "Edward… I need you, Edward." Barely audible… the blood calling me with its sensual song…_

_Shadows-Vague and in motion- hands moving… blood… exploring intimately… blood… moving closer… hands reaching… caressing… taste… touch…._

_Breathing- Rapid and shallow, in sync… with each other… her scent… my scent…_

_Heart-Thick blood pounding… The beast awakens… thirst… rich… I must have it..._

_Electricity-Binding me to her… Blood rushing through her veins… my teeth graze over her throat… give me what is mine…_

_Fire-blood lust. Spreading flames deliciously engulfing my body- Touch-Oh her touch! _

_The monster arises… you belong only to me… forever… mine…_

_Ice-my frozen lips blazing a trail over her collarbones... over her stomach… down… feeling her body's pulse points… _

_The exquisite fire rages… tying me to her forever…_

_Faceless -Flashes of brown… flashes of her neck… her blood calling me… yet she is obscured from my view… I must have her… mine… oh!-the exquisite elixir… I want her… need her… more than her blood… more than my soul…_

_A wolf howls loudly in the distance._

I came to on my hands and knees at the front door. I had gripped the handle so tightly that my fingers left impressions in the metal. I gasped as the shock of reality reclaimed me. I was disoriented and numb. For the first time I was _afraid_. "Alice," I cried. "ALICE!"

She bounced out the front door to me. When she saw the distressed state I was in she froze, worry creeping across her face. "Edward, what happened?" She knelt down to help me up. "Are you ok? You smell like those dogs. What, Edward? What is it?"

She was rattling on so fast that I had to put my hand over her mouth to shut her up.

"Alice, I have to know," I asked, knowing that the desperation I felt was showing in my voice, "Is someone coming?"

_****************(break)*********************_

We entered the house together and she stopped me in the hall. "Tell me what happened, Edward." Her eyes searched mine for answers I could not give her. I could have read her thoughts, but was focused on the issue at hand. I had to know what was happening to me.

"Tell me about your visions, Alice. How do they work? When did you first get them? How long do they last?" She stared at me like I was losing my mind. For the first time in our long history together she was actually speechless. Of course, being Alice it only lasted for about 30 seconds.

"Edward, you know that I don't remember anything before I was changed. You know the story. We've talked about it several times. You also know how long they last. You are with me most of the time they happen." She spoke to me, but with an anxious tone.

She went on, "I only see-"

I interrupted her. "Alice, I've had three visions in the last couple of hours that were so powerful that I could not move. On top of that I had a really bizarre run in with Jacob Black and another shifter that included an equally bizarre conversation that made absolutely no sense."

"I don't know what's happening. My visions are completely different. We both know the best option is to talk to Carlisle." Her voice was quiet. "Edward, I haven't seen any others coming except a human girl but I heard that at school, not in a vision. Several of the kids have been talking about her moving her this summer. It's been the talk of the school for the last few days." She continued, "She's Chief Swan's daughter."

I wasn't really paying attention. Maybe Carlisle would have some answers.

We sat in his office later that night looking for some answers. Carlisle had pulled out several ancient volumes of text but could find nothing close to what I had experienced. He did not believe it was a gift. He promised me he would keep searching. And I was to let him know immediately if it happened again.

_Sure, Carlisle, no problem. You can't miss it. Just look for the largest incapacitated lump of rock you can find. That would be me._

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Logically I knew that finding an answer would be difficult. Emotionally I was disappointed that the man who had been my father for a hundred years couldn't help me.

**Story Notes:**

To answer a couple of potential questions:

In this story Edward and Jacob knew each other before Bella came. Edwards's visions are closer together and strike him with full intensity rather than the slower building ones Bella is experiencing. Also remember Bella is asleep for hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I play with it.

Chapter 9

~Edward~

I didn't have any more "episodes" as I'd come to call them. The rest of summer went by without incident.

It was our first day back from the summer break. I hate high school.

Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella, did indeed arrive and was the talk of the school. An extremely clumsy girl from what I'd heard-regularly tripped over her own shadow. I was completely disgusted from the repeated thoughts that surrounded this Isabella.

I passed Alice in the hallway and it was easy to see she'd had one of her visions. "Edward, Bella and I are going to be best friends!" The way she was bouncing around could make her the perfect poster child for Ritalin.

"Alice, she's human. You know the danger," I reminded her. "Remember what happened last time?" I shuddered at the memory. Alice's hyper active nature had given the human a nervous breakdown.

"Edward, I just want a friend for my own. Someone to compare what is left of my humanity with. Can you understand? She's different, Edward, I've seen it." I knew there was more by the way she kept looking at me so I waited. And she said nothing. I tried to read her mind, but she had me blocked good! Brain blocked by a pixie.

_I'll get you to spill, you stubborn minx._

She laughed and left me there to soak it in. The first bell rang and I turned to go to biology class. As I rounded the corner I saw her. Isabella. I was behind her and didn't see anything that would cause all the talk. She was just another plain human girl.

I figured I'd 'get the scoop' in the usual manner and hit a brick wall. _I can't read her mind! _

I was just behind her and could just make out her scent. It was powerful but faint so I wasn't too worried. It was odd that a faint scent would give me any trouble. As I made my way to the biology table, Mike Newton was sitting hoping to be my partner. His mind was thinking easy A. _We'll see if you can keep up, Newton._

About four rows over, Isabella was sitting in the farthest corner of the room she could find. She looked up at me and our eyes locked. I couldn't break away. _Fire and Ice_. Brown eyes. I panicked and with a heated glare jumped up and ran out of the room. I had to find Alice.

I caught myself two-thirds of the way down the hall and stopped. I wasn't going to let a girl, let alone a new one, run me off. I turned to go back to class and the lecture had started. Mr. Banner just nodded to me and I went back to my seat.

I wanted to take another look at her. _Bella_ was what she preferred to be called. _Isabella is more than beautiful. _Turning my head to look over my shoulder I was sorry to see that she was sitting hunched down into herself scribbling on her notebook. I thought I saw a tear fall.

_Hormonal teenage girls. Wonder who the cause was? _

School was fairly uneventful for the rest of the week. Mike decided the 'easy' A wasn't quite so easy and he requested a seat change. So Mr. Banner in an attempt to get Bella to join in the fray sat her beside me.

By this time I would catch her sneaking glances at me and heard a quiet sigh.

_Great. Another of the drool patrol. I really didn't need another one planning our future together._

I always left as soon as the bell rang without a word to her. It wasn't personal; I just didn't want to foster any possibility of any kind of relationship. The fallout could be tragic. And that's what I'd been trying to tell Alice.

Alice loved her and raved about her daily.

I found myself getting irritable and knew it was time to hunt. Alice and I decided to go together this time and hunt for something that had a bit more challenge than the average deer.

"Mountain lion?" she asked, knowing it was my favorite. "You're on." And off we went.

The mountains we ran toward had a slight dusting of snow on their peaks. The weather was turning early this year, and we would have to hunt a bit outside our normal ranges.

Alice and I split up to do our business. Since I hunted by pure instinct, we didn't want to take any chances. It was more private and sensual that way as well.

I fought with a beautiful specimen of a feline. She fought bravely but was no match for me. The venom pooled in readiness for the succulent fluid to begin its descent into my burning throat.

My teeth closed in on the still pulsing vein and I latched on with long practiced ease.

As the first spurts shot into my mouth from the artery I froze. The air shifted and I was inside the vision _with her_ this time. I was still feeding, but her watching me made it even more sensual for me. It was completely unexpected. She took a few steps closer to me and I held up my hand gesturing for her to stop.

_Oh. My. God. _

It was Bella.

She smiled at me and took a few steps closer. It was not a solid apparition. She was part substance and part something else. Fire.

I dropped the lion's body and sat back, only being able to stare at her. _Ice._ I am sure blood was all over me as I'd lost my concentration. She didn't appear to be bothered by it. I saw her mouth moving but thought I heard her words on the drifting winds. She was so close I caught her scent.

The sudden fight I had within myself was frightening. The monster wanted her even if she wasn't real. She was at my feet now. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She reached down to the neck of the lion and pressed her hand into the wound.

I wanted her blood. It took all my control to stay seated and not ravage her neck. She pulled her hand up to her mouth and inhaled deeply. She moaned in pleasure and arched her back. I actually shivered with desire. She smeared the blood around her neck, my eyes following the crimson trail. She moaned again as she trailed her fingers to the base of her silken throat. It was very erotic and I didn't know what to do about it. It was a vision?

Several drops of thick blood were trailing down the crevice into her cleavage. My eyes were locked on her hands as she moved to unbutton her shirt. Her eyes filled with her own desire that kept drawing mine to hers. As the first button of her shirt fell away exposing the swell that lifted from her bra she took her finger, dragged it across the blood and lifted that finger to her mouth.

I could see the dark and crystalline jewel of rich liquid and was mesmerized. Just as that tongue would have caressed that finger the air shifted and she was gone. I swear I heard the wind whisper it again. _Fire and Ice._

_Ok that was not right. Just… not right. This was not right. _

Alice caught up with me about 10 minutes after the vision. She had caught my feral expression in a vision of her own and got to me as fast as she could. She could smell the essence of human but there had _been no one there._

I was frightened. It happens. Contrary to popular legend we feel emotions: fear, love, bloodlust, sadness, the whole gamut. I just experience it differently. Oh did I mention we also get pretty pissed off. And fairly easily too.

"Alice the visions are becoming real. I swear she was here. I felt her, smelled her. I almost attacked her." I was exasperated by the look of confusion on Alice's face.

"Edward, we need to get you home to Carlisle."

We were there in minutes. Carlisle was just as upset as we were. I felt needed to get away. Any possible threat of harm to Bella was unacceptable. I would not-could not hurt her. She was turning out to be a real friend to Alice.

What we didn't know was how much that friendship would be tested.

The next day at school I started a conversation with Bella and it was surprisingly pleasant. I could not deny that I was drawn to her, but I had a 'no humans' policy for relationships. But I didn't believe in relationships outside my family so it was a moot point.

I am not sure when it changed, but we'd continued to make general small talk. It was a basic class room buddy thing. Alice warned me that she had some 'interesting' visions about Bella and me, but I brushed them off as Alice's wishful thinking.

A couple of weeks went by and I was obsessed with the episodes and the way they were changing. I was not a sexual creature, but a sensual one. There is a big difference, but you wouldn't know it from the actions of most of the student body.

A few more days passed and I needed to go and relax in my room. I put on some classical in the background as it helped to soothe my mind. It wandered to Bella for some reason. I mused over the last few images from the vision and felt a longing to see her. My body reacted in a way it never had as well. The uncomfortable swelling caused me to shift in my bed. I couldn't get the image of her with the blood out of my mind.

I didn't see Bella in class for a few days. Alice was upset and said there'd been some kind of accident. I couldn't believe it but I missed her. I didn't even know her. It was unexplainable. I had two choices at this point: To continue to fight the visions, or to let them play out and analyze them later.

The latter would be easier. I resolved to let it play out if it happened again. I was hoping that the 'if' would be a 'when' and soon. I sat up with the acknowledgment that all the visions were of Bella. And I had a good idea that she was the reason Jacob had approached me. To keep me away. _Well, we'd see about that._

Almost the instant I'd decided to let this go the walls fell away from my room and I found myself in my clearing. I was waiting for someone. _Mine. _I heard a rustling in the trees off to the right and she entered the clearing looking unsure. This was not the sultry sensual Bella from before. It was really Bella. Bella-Bella.

How could this be? I was in my room. Now I was here and it was daylight. I knew she was coming and she knew I'd be here. This was supposed to happen. She smiled at me as she came closer. I had to ask her, "Is this real?"

She replied, "I hope so."

I mumbled 'Fire and Ice' and she stopped and her face snapped up to look at mine.

"Where did you hear that?" She was very unsettled.

"I think I heard it from you," I accused her.

She shook her head in denial. "I have no idea what you are talking about. Edward, I don't even know you. I don't know how I got here but I know I am supposed to be here. Does that make any sense in this weirdness? I know I am dreaming, but it's a good dream so far."

Dream? She was dreaming? Then what was I doing here? _I can't dream! I don't sleep! _

"Edward," she crooned in a most sultry voice. "I know I am dreaming so I am free to do what I want. What I want is you. I don't know you in real life but I want to know you here. Here I am safe. And I love you." Her eyes were reluctant to meet mine.

I started to panic. I couldn't get out of here-I tried. There was nowhere to go. I turned to look at her and I really saw her. She was stunningly beautiful. Petite, curvy, intelligent, and devoted. To me. How had I not seen this in class?

_Oh yes, because I am an arrogant butt that only thinks of himself._

I reminded myself that I was going to let this play out and figure it out later. Well this was going to be one hell of a test.

"You love me?" I asked in astonishment, "How can that be?" "I have no idea," she sighed. "I just do."

_What the hell, it's just a vision, right? Let's just see how far this will go before the 'big fade'._

"Come here, Bella," I whispered softly. I held still while she walked up to me and placed her hands on my chest. They were warm and soft. She laid her head on my shoulder and then it hit. Her scent. I could sense her blood pulsing in her carotid artery. Venom started to pool. I heard the monster laughing at me.

She looked up at me and placed her hands on each side of my face, pulling my face to hers. I was helpless to do anything as our lips met. There was an explosion of electricity, fire, ice, and softness. My hands took on a life of their own, reaching around her and sharply pulling her close in to me. She gasped at the contact and relaxed as our bodies aligned.

"Dreams are so funny because I'd never do this awake," she giggled. I stroked the side of her neck down to her collarbone and she moaned. That single sound awoke me. All of me. I'm sure she felt it. I was embarrassed because I compared it to the juvenile thoughts I'd heard for years. But this was different. _She_ came to _me_.

As she inadvertently rubbed her body against mine to move closer I was overcome with sensation and could not hold back the growl that came out. She chuckled at me but didn't show any concern.

Then there was music in the air. _Music! _

It was a slow and sultry song with an alluring pull. Bella started dancing. Against me. Oh God!-what she was doing to me. I don't think I'd have stopped her even if I could. I never thought this could be possible for me.

She rolled against me and turned to put her arms around my neck.

"Move with me," she whispered.

I closed my eyes and let my body sway with hers to the music in the air. It was possibly the most sensual experience I'd ever had. We stayed melded together like that for quite awhile. The song played over and over. I didn't mind. It wasn't real anyway.

She pulled her arms from behind my head and grazed her nails down my neck. She leaned in and licked the side of my neck down around to the base of my throat. My hands went to her neck and she cried in pain. I immediately softened my grip and pulled my lips to hers.

She gasped at the contact and pushed harder into me. My arms had surrounded her and slowly made their way up her back, pausing in the center to span my hands across her shoulders.

It felt good to have this soft creature in my hands. I released her and pulled my hands around to the front, grazing the sides of her breasts, causing her to elicit another moan. I finally understood. She was my fire. I was her ice.

She grabbed my hands and pulled them back to her collarbones.

"Edward, I want you to touch me. Please, I need you to touch me." Her eyes were slightly glazed and full of desire. This definitely was not the Bella I knew. I was captivated by the Bella before me.

Holding our hands between us, she leaned up for a kiss and when our lips touched this time, the electricity took over. She slid her tongue into my mouth. There were no thoughts of danger for her, only the bond that was building between us. The kiss became a sensual dance between two lovers. A teasing lick, a nibble on a lip, hands exploring. Her hands pushed us slightly apart.

She ran her hands slowly from my shoulders down the front of my chest, slowing at my waistband. She slipped her fingers just inside them and I knew I had to stop her. If the monster was let loose only one of us would walk away from this.

I pulled her hands up to her chest with mine on top of them. "Bella, you are mine and I will respect you even in your dreams," I said. _Did I really say that? I wanted her so badly-like no one I'd ever known._

I wanted to touch her, taste her, love her. _And her blood, don't forget her blood_… the darkness inside me said.

I had the urge to kiss her again and I did. It was not a gentle kiss; it was one of possession and passion. I was making her mine. _Mine._

I wanted to make her moan for me again and began following the trail that caused it the first time. I moved my hands down to the sides of her breasts and she sucked in a breath, groaning. I didn't want to take them yet.

My teeth slowly grazed across her cheek, along her jaw line and as I raised my teeth from the base of her throat up to her artery my hands slid across the front of her shirt. She suddenly arched into me from the sensation and my teeth sank into her neck.

It was an accident and I pulled back before I reached the vein. She was reaching for me and I pushed hard, throwing her back several feet. "Edward!" she cried and started to run back to me.

"Bella, stop," I said in a low voice attempting to control myself. I was failing and the monster was going to make his violent appearance. "Bella, run. RUN!"

"Edward, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" I could hear tears in her voice. I couldn't feel sorry for her now. I was trying to save her life. I spun to face her with a snarl.

Her eyes went wide with fright and she screamed. I knew my eyes had turned black as the darkest ebony and my face had taken on a feral expression. My voice had changed-I was losing control and I was powerless to do anything but watch in horror.

"Yes run, Bella," I sneered. "You can try anyway. You are mine. I can find you anywhere. There is no escaping me now. This is who I really am. I want you. Your body. And your blood. The first for your pleasure, the second for mine. You won't survive it but you will love it." I chuckled darkly, while I continued to fight myself.

Bella turned to run and fell, tearing her shirt down the front. It fell off leaving her running in her bra and shorts. As she ran into the forest the branches and sticks cut her and the blood that started to seep from her body was like a siren song calling me to her. I took a step after her and decided that I didn't want a drawn out kill. Her call was too strong. I wanted her blood and now.

I ran towards her faster and faster, watching her stumble and fall. As I fell on her and my teeth sank to her neck to end her life she whispered, "Come back to me."

Something in her voice pulled me back and gave me the strength to fight the monster again.

I threw myself away from her and flew backward, crashing into a tree and shattering the bark. I was shaking with bloodlust, fear for Bella, and shame. The desire for her blood was strong and I wanted it more than anything I had ever experienced.

"I'm so sorry." There was nothing else I could say. "Bella, I think you should go now."

_How do you leave a dream? I still don't know what this is, but it sure feels real._

"Bella, this can never happen again. I may not be able to stop next time and if I lost you I would not be able to survive." She looked at me tired and in shock, but I think she might have understood. As she turned to leave the clearing I could clearly see two handprints around her neck. I was thankful that this wasn't real.

She faded from sight and I was violently thrown back to reality. Emmett was shaking me and Alice wore a horrified expression. "Edward!" She cried, "Where did you go?"

She wasn't making any sense. "What do you mean?" I asked her. "Alice, I was having another vision."

She looked at me strangely. "You were gone. No expression. It was terrifying." She was clearly afraid and wanted to take me straight to Carlisle.

I told her to please wait because he was already working on it. She reluctantly agreed. I stood to go downstairs. I was disoriented again and they suggested I hunt again to get my strength back. I agreed and went out the back door into the night.

I wasn't sure how I would act around Bella in class. I mean it was just a vision and not real. It didn't actually involve her, so it should be fine if I could control myself and act like nothing was wrong.

As she entered the classroom she looked haggard and tired. She sat down next to me timid and shrunk into herself again. When she did look up at me she had tears in her eyes.

I asked her what was wrong and she shook her head not wanting to talk about it. When the bell rang I froze in disbelief. As she bent to get her back pack her I saw clearly two perfectly formed handprints bruised into her neck.

**Story Notes:**

We go back to Bella's view for Chapter 10.

So what do you think?


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: ** First of all, thanks to the readers who are sticking with this story through writer's block and all the delays this story went through the last few weeks. It feels good to back on track.

I also noticed that there are several alerts for this story. I am truly honored. I would be very interesting in hearing why you like the story. It really does help me a lot.

The punctuation and proofing wands for this chapter are shared by both Picklewinkle and Struckatthesky. Ladies I am in your debt once again.

*holds up right hand* And I swear that from this day forward I will stop using the words 'Would you mind….' and just sent the darn things to you when they are ready.

Today's Chapter is brought to you by Daughtry-All These Lives

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns it. I just get to play.

Chapter 10

Bella POV

I never made it.

I still didn't understand what happened, but after I came to, I went through the rest of the day in a perpetual haze. I had been really looking forward to spending the afternoon with Alice.

I had gone to the library to do some research for an English paper and after finding what I needed, I went to the table in the corner of the room. I preferred corners; in some ways I considered them a sort of sanctuary for me.

As I started to read I began to feel drowsy and rubbed my eyes. _I'll just rest for a few minutes_.

_**********(break)**************_

I woke up in a cold sweat with a scream ready to erupt from my lips. The room was spinning and I felt myself start to tilt. I grabbed the edge of the table with both hands to remain upright.

My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in frantic gasps. I fought to keep myself together. I didn't need another trip to the hospital; who knows when they'd let me out if they thought I was crazy.

_It was only a dream._ _It was only a dream. It was only a dream._ I desperately tried to force the waves of terror down. Slowly my breathing returned to normal.

I needed to remember what the nightmare was about._ I need to face this._ I closed my eyes and focused, having to concentrate pretty deeply. The meadow. Touching him. Kissing him. Edward. I couldn't hold back the delicious shiver I felt.

The images were blurred but still recognizable. They began to whirl across my memory faster and faster and then the darkness entered. I felt emptied as the images faded into an unreadable curtain of mist.

Edward owned my body. He craved my blood. I wanted him to take it. I wanted him to take me. I could almost feel the desire. I loved him and would give him whatever he desired.

_Love? How could I love someone who was going to kill me? _

I started shaking. It had seemed so real. I was having a war within myself-emotional influences vs. concrete images. My neck was really starting to hurt.

_Duh!-That's what you get when you sleep slumped over a desk._

I happened to look up at the clock and realized that if I didn't hurry I would be late for Biology. I wasn't sure how I would handle sitting next to Edward with the nightmare fresh in my mind.

_It was only a dream, Bella. It wasn't real._

I shoved the books into my backpack and left the library, avoiding the looks from the library aide. I am sure she thought I had just snuck in for a quick nap.

I walked into class and looked toward my table. When I saw Edward, my heart began to beat faster. I felt a pang fear and, try as I might, it would not be shelved. I was sure he wanted to kill me.

_Am I going crazy? Is there something wrong with me? Did my seizure do some damage that they didn't find? _

I sat down beside him and slouched into myself. I tried to force myself to look at him. Images from my nightmare began to swirl around my consciousness. Edward asked me a question and I mumbled an answer.

I was afraid. Against my will, tears began to well up and slowly spill over, running down my cheeks. I spent the rest of the class stuck in mental neutral. I was aware of people starting to move around me and realized that class was over.

I could feel Edward was watching me. I felt the intensity of it as sure as if I was looking at him straight in the face. I bent over to grab my backpack and heard him gasp. I turned my head to look at him. He had a look of horror on his face. I got up and rushed out the door.

_I so don't need any more drama today. I just want to go home. Alice will understand. She always understands._

I entered the parking lot remembering that I had no ride. Jacob had offered me a ride home earlier so I pulled out my cell to dial his number. It rang twice before he answered.

"Bella? Are you ok?" he asked, almost sounding frightened. I didn't find it odd that he had such concern in his voice. Looking back, I didn't see a lot of things that would have saved me so much heartache.

"Is that offer for a ride still open?" I asked.

"It sure is. When do you want me to show up?"

"Now."

_**********(break)************_

I had been pacing back and forth on the sidewalk while waiting for Jacob to show up. I jumped when I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and I whirled around, ready to face the monster. It was Jacob. I punched him in the chest and yelled at him. "Don't do that, Jacob!" He clearly saw that I was more than startled, and apologized.

_Get a grip on it Bella! It's just Jacob - remember Jacob? You called him? Hello? Time to breathe. Just breathe. _

He offered to carry my backpack for me but I just hugged it to my chest. For the moment, it was my shield. My hoody had also been a shield of sorts; I had gratefully been able to retreat into it for most of the day. We walked in silence to his car and he opened the door for me. I sat down into the seat, relaxed by the woodsy smell that I had already associated with him.

As I brought the seatbelt around my chest, I felt a jolt of pain as it accidentally rubbed across my neck. I hissed and winced. Jacob snapped his head toward me almost like he was searching for something. I assured him that I'd just fallen asleep in the library and had a severe crick in my neck.

We chatted a little more along the drive home, rekindling an acquaintance born of the deep friendship our fathers had. It was like we'd known each other for years…and I guess technically we had.

Jacob smiled a few times as we talked and I thought it was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen. His whole face smiled with him. In his own way, he was actually quite attractive and I momentarily pictured myself on a date with him.

That lasted a total of 2 seconds because my mind was suddenly filled with images from my childhood of Jacob and I playing in the mud, clad only in our underwear.

_Well it was a happy 2 seconds anyway. Maybe I can get over this Edward thing. Alice will help me figure it out._

Then I remembered. I was supposed to meet Alice after school. I was worried that she would think that I had changed my mind and didn't want to be friends with her after all. I felt a strong urge to ask Jacob to turn the car around as we pulled up into my driveway but the desire to run into my house and hide in my room was stronger.

_Man, my neck is killing me. I gave myself some crick. A hot shower will fix that._

Jacob turned off the ignition, got out of his side of the car and walked over to my door before I had my seatbelt undone. He opened the door for me, offering his hand. I hesitantly placed mine in his. He pulled me up and out as if I was nothing but a dandelion seed blowing into the wind.

_Wow, he's strong. Warm hands. Safe Hands. I could like this-What? What am I thinking?_

I blushed at our brief contact. I felt uncomfortable but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I would make sure he knew I wasn't interested in him 'in that way' this weekend. Maybe I should have said something then, because I would regret it later.

He walked me to the front steps and suddenly stopped. I reached the top step expecting to say thanks for the ride and turned to face him.

His face had taken on a very intense look; his head was slightly raised and tilted back. With his eyes closed he was slowly turning in a circle and _sniffing_. I almost asked him if he was high.

"Jacob, are you alright?"

He turned to face me. His eyes looked _different._ No longer warm and friendly; rather they were sharp and piercing. He assured me that he was fine and started to walk up to me. He stopped just short of the top step and looked at me. Just looked at me. It was kind of creeping me out and I'd definitely had enough creepiness for one day.

He seemed a bit frustrated about something but I really just wanted to get inside. I thanked him again and turned to unlock the front door and step inside. As I closed the door, I heard him mumble something like: "It has to be her…." but I couldn't be sure. I heard his feet crunching down the walk and then the sound of his car pulling away.

I would have thought that his behavior was a bit bizarre had I not been experiencing my own intense level of weirdness. My neck was really starting to hurt and on both sides. I decided that a shower first was the best option. Charlie was working late this week so I knew I would have plenty of peace and quiet tonight.

I noisily stomped across the floor and up the stairs. I shrugged out of my backpack as I entered my room and it landed with a thud on the floor. I felt no further need to hide, so I tossed my hoody down as well.

My hair was sticking to the back of my neck. I pulled it aside as best I could. I started to lift the edge of my shirt to pull it over my head and stopped as the dresser crossed my vision. I let my shirt fall back across my torso.

I had lost a good deal of the anxiety surrounding it, but had really been too busy to take the next step. _I should just do it now and get it over with. _

It was at the point of silliness because I had been able to get thing things out of my drawers for some time. It was just when I thought about unblocking my window that the anxiety had reared its ugly head.

I wanted to be able to lie on my bed letting my body soak up whatever sunlight that was available. I placed my hands on one side of the dresser and gently pushed. It wouldn't budge. I shoved harder and it gave an inch. The anxiety was there, but at a subdued level. It would probably be there for a long time, but I would no longer let it run my life.

There were no bursts of the 'Hallelujah Chorus', no angels singing. But I did feel the warmth of the afternoon sun as I cleared the window. Light filled my room and it was a good feeling. I wanted to do a happy dance. Ok, I _did_ a happy dance.

_That wasn't so hard after all. I can't believe I waited so long. Girl, you are going to be just fine. _

I wouldn't tell Charlie, I'd just let him see it for himself. It would mean that I would have to leave my door open tonight, but this one time I wouldn't mind. It would be another assurance to him that I really was ok.

I peeled out of my shirt and jeans, wincing as the shirt hit the spots that were now burning on each side of my neck. As I let them fall to the floor, my whole body felt sore. .

_Great. I'm probably getting one of those 'achy' bugs. I hope I didn't give it to Jacob._

I removed my bra and panties, tossing them next to my clothes. Even though I knew I was alone, I still peeked around the corner out of habit. I had one uncomfortable and embarrassing run in with my dad and did not want a repeat. Ever. Having your dad see you naked when you are 4 is one thing, but at 17 it's a whole new game. And I couldn't help blushing at the memory.

_That definitely won't happen again._

I walked across the hall and into the bathroom without turning on the light. I reached out for the cold knobs and turned on the water, impatient for it to warm up. I reached for a towel and set it where I would be able to grab it easily when I was done. I was grateful when the steam started to roll over the top of the shower door. I opened it and stepped inside with an expectant sigh.

I had expected a little pain that would ebb as the heated water eased the ache from my bones. That is not what happened. I cried out in surprise as intense pain that shot through my neck. My hands flew to my neck and I cringed into myself.

I quickly reached out with one hand and cooled the water temperature, it didn't help at all. I could feel the sides of my neck throbbing in time with my heartbeat. I was frightened and shut the water off.

I stepped out on to the rug, not bothering to towel off. I just loosely wrapped it around myself and reached for the light. I was acutely aware of my wet hair clinging to my neck. I switched the light on and carefully moved the offending hair. As I turned to face the mirror to see the cause of my pain, the phone rang.

Thinking it might be Charlie, I hurried into my room and checked the number. Alice. I quickly went over the apologies I was going to make to her and answered it. I heard her near panicked voice. "Bella, is everything ok? Are you alright? I didn't see you after school. Someone said you drove off with Jacob Black." There was a note of disgust in addition to the panic she conveyed.

_How did she know Jacob?_

I had momentarily forgotten that in a small town everyone knows everyone else in one form or another. I sincerely hoped she didn't think I'd ditched her for him.

"I'm fine, Alice. I had a panic attack and Jacob was the only one who could come and get me." I tried to sound convincing. I don't think she believed me.

"You're sure you're okay?" she asked a bit suspiciously.

I sighed. "Yes, Alice, I'm fine. Really. And I'm sorry about today. I really do miss you. I feel really crappy right now and just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a thousand years or so."

I heard her chuckle. "Alright, Bella, I'm sorry. I just overreact sometimes and I worried so much we'd never get you back." She still sounded skeptical, but I didn't begrudge her that.

_We?_

"Who's 'we' Alice?" I asked.

She almost too quickly replied "Charlie and I, silly." For some reason I had the feeling she wasn't quite telling the truth. My neck started throbbing again and I needed to get back to my examination. "Alice can we please do this tomorrow? I really need to crash."

"Do you want me to bring you anything?" And with those words, I lost the war. She just wouldn't give up unless she was 'mother hen-ing' me. I sighed. Who could stay mad at Alice?

"Ok, Alice, I get it. You won't be happy until you see me with your own two eyes that I am here by myself and didn't blow you off for a hot guy" I laughed. At least she hadn't immediately started trying to push new adventures in shopping on me yet.

She said with great conviction, "Jacob Black is not even remotely hot."

I tried to be serious. "Alice, just come over. I've told you a million times where the key is. And if the key wasn't there, you'd just climb in my window." I thought I heard her make a quiet gasp.

"Bella, I'll be there in a half hour, ok?" Then the phone clicked and she was gone. On one hand, it was really good to know that she wanted to reconnect. But on the other I felt like crap going through a shredder. I could always hope that some of her ever surging energy would overflow on to me.

I was careful getting dressed. I grabbed my comfy sweats and t shirt. The wooden floor was warm, having retained a bit of the sun's brief appearance. I stood still and soaked it in for a minute. Then the throbbing started in. It felt like hands had wrapped themselves around my throat.

I walked to the bathroom and turned on the light. I grabbed my hair and pulled it off my neck, not sure of what I expected to see. My gaze was frozen on the reflected image in the mirror.

_This can't be happening...This can't freaking be real! This can't be real!_

My legs grew weak. I couldn't hold them back. The images flew at me with an unstoppable force. I felt myself whimper as they assaulted me. I was going down. Again.

_Am I going to make it back? Do I really care? _

Shattered glass from my broken window. Edward's touch. Emptiness. Desire. Hate. The shadowed lover. Suddenly it all connected and became frighteningly clear. Edward was the lover. The lover from all of my dreams. My lover. My mind was spinning. When I saw the image of Edward's hands around my throat my mind had reached critical mass.

_Maybe it's better this way…_

My eyes rolled back into my head, and as I fell, the last image imprinted on my brain was that of Edward's blood soaked lips sneering at me. The last sound I heard was Alice screaming my name.

**Story Notes:**

Well, seems we're cranking back up again, no? What do you think is ultimately happening? I would love to hear your ideas.

I also now know why authors are always asking for reviews. Motivation is one. I would have written this story anyway, but I got this chapter done in one sitting after a great review. So I now can add myself to the list, lol.

Reviews are encouragement for faster updates-I will be much more motivated. So please review and let me know how I am doing!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** I have decided to put up the chapters as soon as they are done instead of waiting a week each time I will work hard to get them up for you.

My grateful thanks to struckatthesky and Picklewinkle who once again have saved me from punctuation and grammar fail.

I wrote this during a very severe thunderstorm. I am so glad the laptop battery was charged because there was no stopping this chapter. (As another thunderclap sends the 4 and 16 yr olds plus all critterz in the house racing to my bed - I love being a mom!)

This chapter is brought to you by:

Three Day's Grace-Never Too Late, AFI-Silver and Cold

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. It's just my playground.

Chapter 11

Alice POV

I had just hung up from talking to Bella and was planning to take her some chicken soup. Open a can. Mix with water. Even I couldn't mess up chicken soup. I'd gone down to our rarely used stove and pulled out a pan, stirring spoon and the can of soup.

I followed the directions, but it still smelled awful. Yeasty and acrid. _Eew._

_My Bella. This is for Bella._ I really missed her. She was the only human who had not shied away from me in who knows how many years. I knew that she suspected something different about us, but she hadn't gotten close enough to my family to discover it. They knew all about her however, from my daily conversations. They generally included her at some point during the day.

I was carefully pouring the soup into a thermos and it hit me. I lost my grip and dropped the pan on the floor, the hot steaming liquid splashing in all directions. It was one of the strongest visions I had ever had. It was clear and precise. There was no mistaking what was going to happen. This was not subjective. And it terrified me.

I dropped to my knees and held my hands over my head, trying to keep it in. Jasper heard me cry out and was beside me in seconds, trying to ease the terror I was projecting but he was only able to hold me cradled to his chest while I rode it out.

_Bella is going to die. I can't stop it. Edward is the key_._ Only he can save her!_

The only unknown factor was surrounding Bella's cause of death. Was Edward going to kill her? Another vampire? Or was it something else? And then it dawned on me that the 'something else' could only be one of those _dogs._

I had been watching over her from a distance since we'd met and the only time I couldn't see her clearly was near the treaty line, which also meant I couldn't see the shifters themselves. But I saw Bella dead, her body twisted and covered in blood, in the forest.

I sat for a minute and just trembled in Jasper's arms as it faded. He had a good idea what had happened and help me sit then stand. "Jasper, Bella collapsed. She's going to die. I can't let that happen. I have to go now or it will be too late." I knew I wasn't making much sense, the images from the vision and my words mixing together creating a sort of verbal hurricane.

Jasper listened until the force of words ebbed. He kissed my forehead softly and said, "Go to her, Alice. Hurry. Do what you have to." I knew he meant revealing our secret. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. I pushed his hands from my shoulders and ran to the front door as fast as I could, almost dislodging it from the hinges.

"Tell Emmett to fix it for me, he'll understand," I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out of the house.

Memories started to surface as I ran through the forest towards Bella's house. The realization that I had my first real best friend. How she would blush at everything. Her blatant disdain for haute couture. The unspoken love for Edward.

_Did I just think that? Oh no - why didn't I realize this sooner - stupid unreliable visions._

I loved Bella. We were as close as sisters in a sense. I would do anything to protect her. _I can't believe Edward hasn't seen it either._ I guess that's what you get with an 'emocidal' brother.

Vampire speed is pretty fast, but I felt so slow racing to the Swan house. I slowed as I came into an area where I could be seen, and jogged across the street, my nose inadvertently wrinkling in distaste. _Dog._

I started to run again crossing her yard, leaped over the steps and started banging on the door. I stopped and listened carefully, not hearing anything but Bella. An unnaturally faint heartbeat. Raspy and labored breathing. I needed to get in there the quickest way while doing the least damage to the house.

I looked up and her window was finally clear. I didn't even think about it as I jumped up to the branch that lay up against her ledge. It was locked. I saw Bella lying on the floor at an odd angle. That was enough for me. I took a few steps back on the branch, and ducked my head down. I raised my arms in front of me, raced toward the window and threw myself into it.

It was as if I was swimming in a crystalline river. The glass splintered in a million directions, catching and reflecting the light. It would have been quite beautiful to my vampire eyes had I not had this situation before me. I tucked into a ball and rolled to a defensive crouch.

Sensing no intruder I ran over to her and carefully placed my hands on each side of her face. Her eyes opened slightly and rolled back into her head. She was gone again.

I pleaded silently within myself. _No, Bella, I can't lose you. You're my best friend. Edward. I have to call Edward. It's about time they face each other._

Keeping one hand on Bella's cheek, I reached for my cell and couldn't reach it. Bella's was right in front of us on her nightstand and I grabbed it dialing Edward's number quickly.

He didn't answer it right away. I was getting anxious because I knew I couldn't do this on my own and if she went to a hospital again, I might really lose her. _Lose her_-lose her. And that wasn't an option. I would fight for my friend no matter what it took. And if Edward wouldn't help me, I would kill him. Literally.

He finally answered on the 4th ring. "Hello? Who is this? How did you get this-"

The words flew out of my mouth of their own accord. "Edward, shut up! It's me. Come to Bella's right away. Something's happened to her and she's going to die - I need you here NOW!"

"What? What are you talking about, Alice?" For some reason he felt afraid.

"Edward, I had a vision and you are the key to this. Get over here now because if my friend dies, I will hold you responsible for eternity."

_Eternity is a long time. _"I'm on my way. Where are you?"

"In Bella's bedroom. Hurry, Edward! We don't have much time!"

I threw the phone down and moved around to the back of her head, intending to cradle it in my lap. I carefully drew the hair from the sides of her neck and gasped.

_Oh. My. God. How could this have happened? It's impossible. Edward said this happened in a vision! He was in front of us! He never left! He is the key - but to what? Does he know this happened? _

Her breathing slowed even further and became erratic. _Hurry, Edward! _

Her body went limp and that was it for me. I had to try. I grabbed her shoulders and started to shake them.

"NOOOOO, Bella! Wake up! Bella, don't leave me! I need you. Edward needs you. My family needs you. Bella, stay….." I knew my words were filled with fear. It was such an unfamiliar feeling to me.

I could feel her ever so slowly slipping away. I grabbed the cell again to call Edward as he pretty much flew through the window and landed on his feet. He rushed to her side and I carefully laid her head down. _She is so pale. _I laughed at the irony.

He started looking over her, instantly registering her breathing and whatever else he had learned from medical school. He stiffened when he came to the marks on her neck.

"Edward, what's wrong with her?" I whispered. I again reached around to pull her hair back and pointedly asked Edward, "Have you seen this?"

In a quiet voice that was almost a whisper, he answered, "Yes, Alice, I have. Twice."

"Twice? I don't understand. When? I think it might be important."

He quietly answered "Once in the last vision I had when I did it to her, and then today in class when I saw _this_." His hands gestured toward her neck and his voice was filled with guilt.

_I so don't have time for his emo drama right now._

My words came gushing out in a rapid staccato. "Edward, what is happening? Did you know she secretly loves you, and has for months? There is something very unique between you. I don't know why. I'm frightened. Can you help her? Please? Are you listening to me?"

He paused only for a moment. He appeared to have ignored everything I'd just said. He was so incredibly infuriating.

He palpitated her skull and neck. He seemed unconcerned and placed his hand over her heart and closed his eyes. His breath hitched and he opened his eyes. They were filled with an emptiness I'd never seen before.

He spoke softly and as if he was in pain. "There's nothing physically wrong with her, Alice. I think she passed out from shock. She probably saw my handprints on her neck. I would have passed out too if I were human." I was completely exasperated with his behavior.

_He is an idiot! _

I narrowed my eyes and let them bore into him. He shifted at the intensity of my glare. "Edward, have you ever bothered to get to know her at all? You have been such a complete jerk to her. You wouldn't even let her try and be anonymous. The glares. The silence. The disdain. The indifference. Didn't you think how it might have affected her? "

I could see that my vehemence surprised him. Again he stiffened and stood. He turned to walk toward the window and as he stepped through it he parted with, "Just lay her on the bed and give her some aspirin when she comes to." And he was gone. Or so I thought.

I carefully lifted her to me and placed her on the bed. I sat down beside her and used the coolness of my hands to ease the heat radiating from her skin. Bella groaned. "Alice?" She said weakly "You came."

I was filled with relief, momentarily forgetting my vision. "Bella, you need to take these." I gently lifted her head high enough to swallow the aspirin and water.

I laid her back down on to her pillow. She sighed and weakly reached for my hand, taking it in to hers. "Ssh, I'm here, Bella. I'm here. I won't leave you."

Her eyes flew open wide when she turned toward the window. I wasn't surprised at what I saw. Edward's silhouette in the moonlight. He had never left. She tried to sit up, but could only lay and stare at him. I touched her shoulder and said, "It's ok, Bella, he won't hurt you. He was just leaving."

She kept her eyes on him, watching his every move. And he was returning the stare with the same intensity. "Was it all real?" she whispered in disbelief, clenching her eyes shut. They slowly relaxed and within a few minutes she had slipped off into a restless sleep. I walked over to face him and leaned over his shoulder to whisper in his ear.

"Edward, there is something you need to know. I saw Bella die. It's going to happen soon. In the forest. I don't know how or why, but you are the key. And it will be one of two things that end her life: a vampire or a dog."

"Alice…." He said. "I...I...don't know what to say. Or think." And as we stood at her now ruined window we simultaneously shifted into a defensive crouch, ready to defend against the intruders. The horrible scent wafted in through the window. Our eyes met and I growled. _Dogs. _

_******(break)*********_

Edward POV

An inexplicable and fierce need to protect Bella had suddenly arisen within me while sitting next to her. I had no idea what was happening and with the dogs outside I would just have to figure it out later.

I knew that Alice would protect her like a lioness over her cub. I'd never seen Alice develop such a strong bond with a human. She had really taken this 'best friend' business to heart. I would do anything for Alice and that meant that I would use any means disposable to protect both her and Bella.

"She'll be fine, Alice. We need to go."

"Absolutely," she replied and we jumped out the window.

We landed soundlessly on our feet and with feline grace quickly approached the woods next to Bella's house. The three of them stood confidently - Jacob Black and two other pups. I sighed internally. _Don't they ever keep track of their young?_

It was obvious that he was dangerously unstable. I instinctively pulled Alice behind me. I felt her smirk while Jacob shook with fury. "Bloodsucker, I warned you to watch your back. What the hell are you doing with my _mate_?"

_What? _I winced at the words but recovered quickly as Alice shook her head slightly. Her thoughts confirmed that his statement was fantasy. I chose my next words carefully.

"Pup, I have been her lab partner all year, and Alice is her best friend. Bella never mentioned you, except that you played together as kids. And I guarantee you that she is completely unaware of our 'hidden' natures as well."

Alice looked at me in shock when I continued. "We have been watching over her as you asked, but I think you are out of line here."

Jacob turned four shades of purple and the outline of his form started to shimmer.

_Again? He really IS a pup. So predictable. He's going to have to learn to control that temper._ As juvenile as he was, Jacob was still dangerous.

Through clenched teeth he spat, "I withdraw my request for you to watch over her. I will handle it from now on and keep her protected. Stay away from her, Cullen, or you will regret it." The intended threat was extremely clear.

Alice said gently, "Jacob, I don't mean to disagree with you, but she isn't your mate. Have you even asked her feelings? It would be completely obvious if she'd imprinted. And besides, she would have told me. _We_ are that close."

Jacob spat on the ground. "You bloodsuckers are wrong. She is _mine _- and has been since our childhood."

I was fighting for control and losing quickly. _You are wrong, pup, she is MINE. And she will know soon. Not in my visions. For real._

I knew this with great conviction. There was absolutely nothing like being slapped with reality. And reality had hit me with a really big hammer.

I had to talk with her soon. This was going to be a strange process. I'd have to figure out how to convey everything without sounding insane.

Tomorrow was a Saturday and decided that it was the best option. There were no distractions of school and I could take her to my meadow. That is if she would come with me to begin with. She would probably think I was a case for the mental ward. I wouldn't mention our immortal status until I absolutely had to. That would be a tricky business.

I spoke with a low and steady tone, "Jacob, there is no need for a fight. We are leaving now. Bella is fine. Alice will be here tomorrow to check on her. Despite what you think, Bella will want her here. You are just going to have to deal with that."

He started to growl and his friends took hold of his arms and dragged him back into the woods. That was a sight to see because all three of their forms were shimmering which meant they were all out of control and were going to shift.

"Alice, we need to go. Back away slowly. Now." I said quietly. "Can you check on her?" she closed her eyes, searching. "She will be alright, Edward. No surprise visitors." And I knew exactly whom she meant.

As we turned to begin our run home, I heard a whisper from Bella's room. "Edward….Edward, where are you…I need you...Alice, where is he…" She was pleading in her dreams. I wanted her. I wanted to go to her. The call was strong. Alice touched my shoulder and I knew we needed to leave. I would see her. _Tomorrow. _

I looked over my shoulder at Bella's window one last time as we crossed the road to the forest that would lead us home. As we entered the darkness, I heard the unmistakable sounds of shifting followed by snarls and howls of rage.

**Story Notes:**

We are growing close to the prologue. A line has been drawn. Risks will be taken. Where is Bella in all of this? Remember that she is completely unaware of the wolves, vampires, etc. at this time.

Someone mentioned that this story should be nominated for some indie thing or another. Hey, if you feel it's good enough, go ahead and nominate. And if not this story, nominate someone's work that you like. The authors here work hard (as I am finding out myself).

Anyone care to take a guess at what comes next? Please review! (Purdy please?)


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** First off, I can't remember if I already did this or not, but a grateful thanks to the Twilight Secret Garden Blog for the recommend. Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!

I also want to give a shout out for my two betas extraordinaire-Struckatthesky and Picklewinkle. Check out their amazing work - you definitely won't be disappointed - promise!

The multiple POV changes continue in this chapter. I hope you aren't lost!

As always, a big thank you to the readers for sticking with me. There is a poll on my profile-check it out and let your voice be heard!

This chapter brought to you by:

AFI- Silver and Cold, and Shinedown - Heroes

**Disclaimer:** Ms. Meyer owns it. I'm just passing through.

Chapter 12

Jacob's POV

I was flying. I flew through the woods feeling exhilarated as the ground sped by. This always happened for the first few minutes after I shifted. Shifting itself was so hard to control but I was getting better. You wouldn't have known it tonight though.

The exchange with that freaking bloodsucker was raw in my mind. I had never been so enraged in my entire life. _Everyone_ knew how I felt about Bella. I can't remember the exact date it happened, but I'd fallen in love with her.

I know I only saw her once a year. I know it had been several years since she was here. I. Don't. Care. I loved her. We were meant to be together. It was only a matter of time until we imprinted. She was my destiny. I had never given any other girl a thought, although several had made their interests known to me. I was not rude about it, but I just wasn't interested.

My_ mate._ Well maybe it wasn't the complete truth right at this particular second, but I was going to offer my future to her tomorrow at the barbeque. I just couldn't figure out why we hadn't imprinted yet. It was so obvious to me that she was the one to join me in this otherworldly journey. Maybe spending time with the bloodsuckers had impaired the process somehow.

Another thing I would clue Bella in on tomorrow was the nature of the true evil that she was keeping company with. The ancient legends were true and I couldn't wait to share them with her. It was bad enough when that female had staked her claim on Bella's time, but it crossed the line when Edward got involved.

_And when we have imprinted, she will stay away from them all. Away from him. They will repulse her. She will finally understand._

The sooner the better as far as I was concerned.

_It will only be a matter of time before one of those freaking bloodsuckers lose control and kill her._

I would not let that happen. Where Bella was concerned, I would do anything to protect her. Especially since she didn't realize how much she needed to be protected from.

_Why had they been in her house? What the hell was he doing in her room?_

I'd been ready to burst through the front door and start tearing the first thing I saw to shreds. Only two things kept me outside: My brothers would have stopped me and there was the outside chance that I might accidentally hurt Bella if she was too close.

That is probably the only wise choice I made during the whole night. If the Cullens went to the elders about our shifting outside LaPush we would be toast. I wondered why they hadn't already done so.

_I wonder what the equivalent of being grounded is for werewolves. _

It was obvious he wanted to take her from me. Alice was helping him. I tried to imagine the poison they had already leaked into Bella's mind. I heard Alice say something about Bella dying.

_Nope. Not gonna happen. Not on my watch._

My fur started to bristle as new flames of rage coursed through me. Overcome by the wave, I howled in fury, and my brothers along with me.

I pictured her that day in the car. She'd inhaled my scent and loved it. It was obvious from the way the corners of her mouth had lifted slightly. I noticed these small but significant gestures.

I calmed as I let her image fill my mind. As we entered the reservation, we each went our own way. We'd compare notes later. I concentrated and waited for the white-hot electricity to flow through my body, triggering the shift back to my human form. The searing flames brought me to my knees. I lay on my knees with my head on my hands against the forest floor.

_Crap, will this ever get any less painful?_

I weakly stood and grabbed the pair of sweats I always kept stashed here for such occasions. I lazily started walking across the yard. Just as I reached the porch I heard my dad talking on the phone through the open window.

"Sure, Charlie, we can have it at your place. I can't believe I forgot the game. No, it's no problem…" Billy's voice faded as he walked into another room.

I froze. They were moving the barbeque? To Bella's?_ What? No way! We can't! I have this planned. I won't be able to protect her there. What the heck is my dad thinking?_

I jerked the front door open just as he hung up the phone. He turned his wheelchair toward me and let me know there had been a change of plan. I tried to plead my case. But of course, we don't want to anger the baseball gods and miss a game.

I ranted and raved for a while until I realized that he was getting suspicious of my protests. _Crap. I will just have to deal._

I could still ask her to go for a walk with me into the woods. We could still have the magic of the earth around us while I proposed our destined future together. Getting myself under control, I made my goodnights and went to my room to wait for tomorrow. My last thoughts were of the joy on her face when she accepted me.

_Alright, Cullen. This ends tomorrow!_

_******(break)******_

Bella's POV

I turned on my side and stretched as I woke up. I was sore all over. I looked on my nightstand and saw that it was already 10am.

_Crap - the barbeque._ _Why did I promise Charlie I'd go?_

I didn't want to go, but I'd promised Charlie because it meant a lot to him to do 'family and friend' gatherings. And Jacob made me nervous.

_Alice! Edward! They were here!_

I stretched and cringed when I felt the pain. My hands flew to my neck. I gasped as everything from the night before flashed through my mind. Alice really did break the window and Edward was there too. I panicked as I imagined Charlie finding the glass on my floor.

It was weird. I wasn't panicked about my neck anymore. Something instinctual told me that it was going to be ok. I looked up and was completely confused. There, complete and unbroken, was the window. I felt the tears well up ready to spill over.

_I am not crazy. They were here. They were HERE. I am not crazy. I am not crazy…am I?_

Maybe it was only a dream after all. I would apologize to Alice for not answering the door last night. And while I had her on the phone, I would tell her everything. Including what I remembered from the dreams. And then she would either call me insane, tell Charlie, who would have me committed, or she would. Well, I didn't know what she would do, but it wouldn't be good. I'd never had a best friend like this before and I was deep in foreign territory.

I pulled up my big girl panties and sat up. I was surprised to feel a twinge of disappointment because my window _wasn't_ broken.

_Another dismal day in Forks._

There was no sense putting off the inevitable, so I got dressed and went to the bathroom. I pulled out my rarely used makeup and made an attempt to conceal the bruises on my neck.

I would definitely have to wear my hair down, but that wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for me. I could even get away with the hoody. As I worked to cover them up, my thoughts kept drifting to Edward.

_I will invite Alice and Edward to the barbeque! Genius!_

I'd much rather tell Alice how insane I had gone in person anyway. And she could bring her brother. I'd extend the invitation anyway. After all, he was my lab partner. Even if he hated me. But did he? The lines between reality and fantasy had become increasingly blurred.

I heard Charlie call up the stairs.

"It's about time, Bells. There's a change of plan. The barbecue's gonna be here. Is that ok with you?"

I was overjoyed. I could exit gracefully after making initial rounds. Alice would also be more likely to come. She was kind of funny about going to LaPush. Never did know why. Then again, I didn't really care. I was concerned about getting back with my best friend.

"Not a problem, Charlie. I'd be more comfortable here anyway." I looked over at the phone. I picked it up and started to dial.

_Now or never. Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad… _

I should have known better. Alice was completely forgiving. She said she'd knocked on the front door and had considered climbing the tree and coming in the window. I had to chuckle at that mental picture.

She was thrilled to be invited to the barbeque - especially since it was going to be at my house now. When I tentatively asked about inviting Edward, she surprised me with an enthusiastic "Yes!" I suspected she was up to something. With her, it was so hard to tell.

I hope she was prepared for the cold war standoff that usually surrounded Edward and I. I was going to do my best to change that.

_He will have to be civil to me at my own house, won't he? _

Alice would kill him if he weren't civil. I gave her the details and told her not to worry about bringing anything. I mentioned that Jacob and some of his friends would be there and she got strangely quiet.

_What is up with that? What am I missing?_

I was really going to find out what the deal was. She decided that she was coming early to rescue me from public disgrace and help me pick out my outfit. Edward would stop by later.

_It's a barbeque, Alice. No red carpet here!_

I really didn't mind though. I was going to see Alice!

_******(break)******_

Alice and I decided on something that made me look nice, but not too nice. I had told her how Jacob made me so uncomfortable and I didn't want to attract more attention than was necessary. She wholeheartedly agreed, and I ended up looking 'weekend chic' as she called it.

I was wearing my everyday jeans, but had dressed it up a bit with a blue pullover, a touch of eye shadow. She wanted to do my hair too, but I held up my hands in protest. She just laughed and threw her hands up in the air.

It was so good to see her! She was like my security blanket. She was so cheerful and energetic there was no way anyone could realistically stay in a funk. Even me.

_********(break)********_

Alice and I had set things up in the backyard. I about died of embarrassment when our barbeque actually fell apart when I went to pull it around back.

Charlie just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. He put in a quick call to Billy and soon a stand-in was on its way.

We had gone up to my room to spend some 'girl time' while we waited for everyone to arrive. We sat on my bed and giggled about trivial things. I couldn't help looking at the window. A lot. If she noticed, she didn't say anything.

Billy, Jacob, and a few others I vaguely remembered showed up around one o'clock. We both tensed at the sound of truck doors being slammed shut. I sent a silent plea to Alice. She registered understanding and I knew she wouldn't leave my side as we stood and turned to walk out of my bedroom. We looked at each other and began to laugh.

As we walked down the stairs, I felt like a weight had been lifted from me. That was the 'Alice effect.' I followed the sound of voices into the back yard and was amazed by what I saw.

_What the heck are they feeding these guys? They're huge!_

I didn't think they'd seen me. It was kind of freakish because, as I hit the door, they stopped and looked at me all at once. I felt Alice stiffen from behind me and realized that they were glaring at _her._

_Don't even go there, creeps! This is MY house! And this is MY best friend!_

I don't know why she didn't glare right back. She just quietly whispered in my ear, "It's ok, Bella. I'm used to it."

"Well, I'm not, and this is crap!" I was going to say something but heard a knock at the front door. Alice gave me a knowing look. _Edward!_

We spun and raced to the door like it was a lifeline. No one could ever mistake that frame. Alice placed a cool hand on my shoulder as I took a deep breath and reached to open the door.

_*******(break)******_

Edward's POV

As the door opened I was filled with uncertainty.

I was amazed that Emmett didn't wake anyone up while making his emergency repairs to Bella's window. I was worried how Bella would react to me today. I'd treated her badly for so long that there was a good possibility she would tell me where to go.

I was greeted with Alice's conspiratorial smirk and Bella's nervous smile. As her eyes met mine they locked. We stood there staring at each other, not saying a word, until Alice said something about the staring contest being a draw.

_Funny, Alice. _

Bella invited me in and turned to lead us to the backyard and Alice sent me a warning glance; then I knew _t__hey_were here. Alice's thoughts told me they weren't expecting us to be there and to behave myself. I sure as crap didn't want this to end badly. I had driven myself near to madness trying to figure out what I was going to say to Bella now that I actually acknowledged what I had been feeling all along.

_I love her. I can't explain it. I am not worthy of her, but there it is. I just do. I am hers. She is mine!_

She had completely bewitched me body and soul. Emmett and Jasper had tried to help by offering suggestions how to ease her into the conversation I needed to have. Rosalie making comments about 'One Bella steak, rare,' hadn't helped a bit, even though she had only been teasing.

Circumstances being what they were, I didn't have the time to mend our relationship, as I'd have liked. This was going to be down and dirty. I would be as gentle as I could, but there was no way the dog was going to get near her if I could help it.

It would only be a matter of time before one of them accidentally shifted and killed her. I would take whatever measures were required to keep it from happening even if she rejected me. Now I understood Alice's devotion. I shared it. It only took one night of really looking at things to see I'd been running from her call to me. I only hoped that she would one day forgive me.

_*********(break)*********_

Jacob's POV

I was laughing with the guys about something totally lame when I smelled it. _Vampire._ We all turned as one to see the witch following Bella into the yard. Bella looked really uncomfortable. The bloodsucker whispered something into her ear and they turned and walked back into the house._ No freaking way! Today is MY day. She will not keep her from me!_

I didn't hear Billy's wheelchair as he came up behind me. He wasn't stupid. I felt him place a hand at the small of my back, which was a reach up for him. "Easy, son" he said with a familiar pain.

_He smells her too. He understands._

I nodded my head, heeding his warning. Thankfully, Charlie was oblivious to the change in the atmosphere. Billy rolled over to him and they got into a heated discussion about something baseball related.

_The best thing to do is nothing. Maybe she will leave. I will get Bella to myself today._

I started to plan…and he walked out behind them. He smirked at me, daring me to try something.

It was so pathetic. Bella kept shooting him nervous glances and I just knew that Alice had pressured her into inviting him. She was so kindhearted she wouldn't say no. I reaffirmed my vow to help her clarity improve as soon as possible.

Alice and Bella kept apart from the rest of the group, with Edward hovering behind them like some kind of noble guardian.

_Yeah, a fox guarding the chickens._

I'd had enough. When it was clear that they were going to keep her surrounded, I knew it was time to rescue her. With all my brothers here, they wouldn't dare try anything.

I started walking over to her and put on my warmest smile. She looked down at the ground and started to shift restlessly from one foot to another.

_I'll save you, Bella, my love._

I was sure that today was the day we'd imprint. I'd make it happen somehow. My love for her would be the catalyst and her love for me would seal it for the rest of our lives.

"Hey, Bella, how you doing?" I asked while keeping my eyes on Edward.

"I'm fine, Jacob." She glanced up and looked everywhere but at me.

I encouraged her to continue, "Call me Jake, Bells, it's all good."

"I prefer Bella, Jacob," she said with a note of irritation in her voice.

She was so amazing. She wasn't going to let these vamps get to her. I wondered if she possessed some hidden sense that unconsciously picked up on her imminent peril.

The possessed pixie spoke up. "Bella, take a walk with me?"

_Oh heck no. Not. Gonna. Happen._

I made a quick decision. "Bella, I have something special to give to you - I made it a long time ago and was saving it for the right moment." I flashed her my best smile. From the pleading look she wore, I knew she was begging rescue.

"Um, I'm kind of…I don't want to be rude and leave my friends alone," she said, looking back down at the ground.

I was not going to be thwarted, especially by a couple of pet rocks.

"Bella, it would really mean a lot to me. You will understand when you see…" I let my voice trail off. Yes, I was being pathetic. Yes, I was begging. And it would be so worth it.

She whispered something over her shoulder to both of the bloodsuckers. My irritation grew. I should have known that they had been controlling her.

Alice grimaced and Edward smirked. With resignation in her voice Bella agreed to come with me. She followed me across the yard and out the back gate.

She hesitated as I took her hand and led her toward the woods. "Jacob, where are we going?"

"Just far enough for some privacy," I reassured her.

She stopped and snapped at me. "We've gone far enough. You can show me now, Jacob."

I sighed; well, this is as good a place as any. At least I'd rescued her from the bloodsuckers. There was no doubting what her response would be.

"Bella, I know this is sudden and might sound, well, crazy." She opened her mouth to say something. I placed a finger on her lips to silence her. I was surprised when she recoiled from my touch. The only reason had to be that she was reacting to the higher temperature of my body.

I kept my eyes focused on hers. "Just hear me out. I need you to trust me on this. I promise I can keep you safe from them, so you don't have to worry anymore." I nodded my head back to where they were. Her expression changed from a confused irritation to incredulity.

She didn't look happy. I realized that I'd better get this out and quickly. I decided to ditch the eloquent lines and take the direct approach.

_Ok, here goes nothing…_

"Bella, I love you. I have been in love with you for a long time. I want to make you mine. I want to protect you from what's out there. We were meant to be together. I've waited for you all of this time. It's the coolest destiny thing. I want to-"

She was speechless. Her eyes had gone wide and her mouth gaped open.

"What are you doing, Jacob?" The threat in his voice was unmistakable and menacing. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pulled her behind him.

"Edward." Bella spoke with relief.

_Relieved? No freaking way! What has he done to her?_

I watched her lean into him. I felt the first cut into my soul as determination showed on her face. She pulled away from Edward, standing straight and confident. My world crashed around me with her next words. It couldn't have destroyed me anymore if I'd stepped on a land mine.

What really hurt is the tone she used. She sounded like she felt _pity_ for me. "Jacob," she said gently. "I have no idea where that came from. I spent time with you when we were kids, but that was a long time ago. I haven't even seen you for years. I don't know you. You don't know me. I will never be able to return your feelings and…I...I'm sorry."

Edward took her hand and she looked at him with a sort of wonder. I couldn't believe it. Jealousy reared its ugly head and would not be restrained.

_Impossible! She can't be choosing the freaking bloodsucker over me! He's got her completely caught in his lies. She is MINE. He will not have her. _

I knew in the next minute, I was going to shift. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I shuddered as the white-hot shock threw me to the ground. The rage that burst forth was fierce - provoked by the most ancient of conflicts.

I had to get away. I turned and sprinted into the woods. I tried to push my rage inward. I would unleash it on him later. He had ruined her. My angel. I made a vow and promised myself that I'd help her to see them for what they really were. Darkness would be overthrown by the light._.. _

I couldn't help but radiate happiness as I made my plans. He was going to suffer for taking my Bella.

_Edward Cullen is going to die. _

**Story Notes: **

Well? WELL? Okay, so Ufta. Oy. Insert the expletive of your choice.

A bit of insight about Jacob: he's not a jerk on purpose. He is a young man that is completely consumed by his passion for Bella and loves her with the fiercest of devotion. For him, I imagine it started out as a harmless crush until he started shifting. And with the acknowledgement of the truth about the ancient legends it (naturally) slipped to include Bella. He is from a noble and powerful line. There is a hint of pride there, and rightly so.

He is so awed at the power and sense of destiny; he thinks that she will be just as reverent and will want to be a part of it (with him of course).

Her refusal of him has hit him at the core of his being. Rather than accept it for what it truly is, that she just doesn't return the feelings, he sees Edward as the sole cause. (Just in case you didn't get that already, lol)

Please review and tell me if I totally screwed this up or not!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** This is the last episode with the insane POV switches. I hope the insight into my portrayal of Jacob helped to clear up any questions. His character is not a complete idiot; he's just caught in a world that exists outside of ours.

Struckatthesky and Picklewinkle: Couldn't do it without you and your highlighters, lol.

This chapter is brought to you by:

GTR-When The Heart Rules The Mind, and Pantera-Planet Caravan

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I just play.

Chapter 13

Jacob POV

There was only one choice left for me; to go to the elders. I would get in some pretty big trouble for my violations of the treaty so far, but I didn't care. Bella was in danger. Surely they would grant me retribution rights for what _he_ had done to Bella. Their help was crucial to getting her away from them and back to safety.

One image burned in my heart and wouldn't go away. The look of wonder as she gazed up at him. I don't know what he did, but I was sure I could undo it.

As hard as I tried to quiet it, the small inner voice had to say it. Truthfully, it had been trying to creep into my consciousness for some time. As the words echoed through my mind I stopped in mid leap.

_Maybe she was telling the truth. That she's never returned your feelings. Did she ever really give you any signals? Why would she lie?_

_Because of his manipulation, that's why! I didn't have time to explain everything-_

_Jacob, get real. She doesn't love you. Never has. Never will. _

My stomach started churning as the inner struggle continued. I was so stubborn-even within myself.

_I love her-it will be enough. If I can show her, she will understand. She will see how much better for her I am. I can be her sun. He will only bring her death._

_But what does she want?_

_She wants…I…don't…know._

And the curtain of reality fell and I felt my heart begin to shatter with my soul soon to follow.

The elders let me have it, and I mean really have it when I came clean. I felt the weight of my heritage at that point. They screamed about how I had jeopardized the entire tribe and that had the vampires not been so generous the treaty could have been dissolved. I hadn't considered the long-term implications of my actions. I still felt I had done the right thing, but just in a different way.

They chastised me for allowing my personal feelings to get in the way of my tribal duties. Of course, they denied me retribution because there had been no offense on their part.

_Freaking bloodsuckers._

Thankfully, the council released me to go with a strict warning to behave myself. I had at least gotten permission to guard her silently from a distance. Even if they'd denied me, I'd have done it anyway. She still needed my protection regardless. I knew they'd see this eventually.

It was still light out. The barbeque had ended shortly after I was rejected by Bella and I had taken my licks, deciding a run would do me good. I shifted and called out to my closest brothers. The three of us joined and together ran back into the forest, but stayed within the boundary this time. I let go and gave myself over to instinct. We ran in sync for a couple of miles before I slid to an abrupt halt, smelling it. We all smelled it. _Bloodsucker! With Bella-what are they doing out here together?_

Logic separated from reason and I was filled with a burning jealousy. I knew that crossing the line in wolf form wasn't going to happen. My brothers loved me but they wouldn't tolerate anymore crap from me.

I knew she could still be in danger. He knew it too. I fully intended to follow my vow to protect her from a distance. Maybe nothing was going on, but I had to make sure. She deserved no less, regardless of her lack of feeling for me.

Ignoring the protests voiced from my cohorts I shifted back to human. I put on the shorts that I had tethered to my ankle and basically followed my nose. Treaty or not, I still had a score to settle.

Bella POV

I felt the tension between Edward and Jacob. _Great. Testosterone overload. _I hated that crap. Jacob went on and on about something special and I figured that I'd just give in and get it over with so that I could disappear with Alice and Edward.

Only Edward and Alice saw that Jacob had started pulling me through the gate and had picked up on my fear.

_What the hell? Why is he declaring love for me? Is he insane? Did I do something to encourage him? Why did I agree to come with him? Way to not think, Bella. I hope someone saw us…_

He was hurting my hand and I had to yank it back to get him to let go. _Ow! _I was afraid of him because he was going on like someone out of touch with reality. There was such a desperate look in his eyes. He kept looking into mine and staring several times while my anxiety was approaching a full blown panic. I considered screaming, hoping that someone would hear.

I felt two cool hands brace my shoulders from behind and I was so filled with relief that I couldn't help but sink back against my rescuer. It only took a moment to register._ Edward. _

His presence gave me the confidence to stand on my own and I let Jacob down as gently as I could. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and it dawned on me. Cringing, I realized that he really didn't get it. Jacob thought I was _his._

I turned my head over my shoulder to see if Edward was close and it happened. Our eyes locked and everything else fell away. I knew he was as overcome as I was. I was filled with a sense of wonder as I surveyed his face. His eyes were filled with...love?

This was just, well, I didn't know what, but it felt _right. _Of course, the fact that I had been in love with him for months didn't do anything to hurt either. A blush crept into my cheeks when I realized that he _knew. _I know who told him. _You saved me, Alice._

We stayed this way, our eyes locked until I heard Jacob stomping away. Edward went into some kind of protective mode and pulled me behind him.

I saw Jacob running. Well, he _was_ Jacob… and then he wasn't. I knew then that I was losing my mind… _again._

*********************

Edward POV

_Innocence. Beauty. Fragile. Eternity. Monster. Killer. Danger._

These words whirled in my mind simultaneously with the images from previous visions. I knew we were being caught up in something powerful and beyond anyone's control and for once in my existence, most of me didn't care.

I had tired of hearing the thoughts in Jacob's mind. They were the desperate daydreams of a lovesick pup. He had stepped over the line when he dragged her out of the yard. _Ignorant dog._

Then he did the unthinkable. He shifted. In front of Bella. In violation of the treaty. Again.

She didn't run screaming. She didn't faint. She just stood there. I spun her to face me and she started _laughing_. Her face was pale and her eyes were slightly unfocused. "Bella," I gently shook her shoulders. "Stay with me, Bella. Alice is coming."

Bella was on a mental precipice. I called Alice and she was there in seconds, gently touching Bella's shoulder. She turned to Alice and her eyes were filled with fear. "Did I just see… Jacob change into… a wolf?" I could only feel sorry for her as she collapsed against me while clinging to Alice. We sank to the ground with her and just held her. I had wanted to keep all of this from her for as long as possible.

We sat this way for some time. Bella glanced up at me, signaling that she wanted to stand. Alice and I stood up and each reached for one of her hands, pulling her up gently. She was silent.

"Bella, would you like Alice and I to leave you alone for awhile? I'm guessing that you don't want to go back just yet." I couldn't get enough of her eyes. They were infinite.

She grabbed my hand. "Don't leave me, Edward. I can't be alone right now. Will you stay?"

Jacob's understandable-but irresponsible-actions had forced the issue.

I looked at Alice and she nodded her head slightly, her thoughts telling me that now was the time.

"Walk with me? I know a quiet place for you to think." I knew she would love the meadow. It was quiet and peaceful.

"Yes. Just don't leave me." She was still afraid.

"Bella, I am yours now. I will never leave you." I said so low that only Alice could hear me.

I heard Alice throw a parting thought. I sighed.

_Ok, Edward, don't screw this up. _

Thanks, Alice. I knew she'd be watching for us, for trouble.

**********

Bella POV

Edward and Alice each took an arm and pulled me up. My legs were shaky and weak but I was still able to stand while Edward supported me until I found my footing. Alice gave me a gentle smile. She said something about making our excuses and she'd help Charlie clean up. She bounced away like a pixie on steroids.

We turned to follow the path that led opposite the direction Jacob had gone. It was obvious that there was something really bizarre going on here, but I trusted Edward. We walked side by side, not speaking. I wasn't tired, but wanted to get to wherever he was taking me. Obviously, I had questions. He was the key. Edward would be my catalyst.

_I know he saw the same thing that I did. Why did he stay so calm? He wasn't surprised at all; he was irritated. He'd better give me honest answers! Alice knows too; they are like twins. I've got plenty of questions for her as well._

He touched my shoulder guiding me from the main path onto what looked like a deer trail. I looked up to him and he smiled in reassurance.  
"I'm taking you to my place. It's safe. You'll see."

They words came on their own. "I trust you with my life, Edward." _Did I really say that? _

I did-and meant it.

*******************

It really was a long walk. I think we'd gone 3 or 4 miles before the canopy began to thin. I looked up at the tree line and recognized it_. It's the path from my dream!_

My steps slowed to a stop and Edward turned to ask if I was ok.

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

I whispered to myself, "I'm not sure I believe it myself."

I thought of other images from that particular dream and was snapped into reality-Again the man in my dreams was Edward. This was getting almost too freaky for me, even with Edward here. Especially because Edward _was _here.

We started walking again and as we reached the edge of the clearing I stepped toward the sunshine that had decided to bestow some warmth and light on us.

Edward reached for my hand and asked if we could spend some time sitting on a log he'd found to talk for a bit first. I thought it was an odd request, but he'd told me this was his special place and I wanted to respect it.

We sat on the log and I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable it was. This place radiated comfort and safety. It was so peaceful. Most of my fear and anxiety had faded away, well nearly so.

"Bella, we need to talk." Uh oh, now the 'I care about you but want to be friends' talk. It couldn't be anything else. _Did you expect anything else, Bella? Look at him. Look at you._

The difference in backgrounds was enough to question it, but then there was the way he suddenly became aware of me. Almost an overnight switch. I don't switch that fast, and I sure as crap was not going to end up his trophy.

Images came again, almost a floating movie of sorts. Somehow they assured me this was not the case. We were at a pivotal point in this state of unreality. My dreams, at least the ones I could remember, were good ones surrounding this actual place that I'd seen. I started to feel guilty for thinking this way. He had been nothing but gentle with me.

I'd wished things would have gone slower with well,_ everything,_ but somehow I felt I was running out of time. I had never wished for normalcy more in my entire life. Then I decided the extra stress wasn't worth it and would just take the risk and let go. It was apparent that he needed to say something important. I'd never seen him fidget so much, like he was trying to decide whether or not to make a decision.

"Edward, what is it?" I had to know. After all the madness I'd witnessed today, I'd probably believe anything he told me without question.

"I didn't want you to find out this way. Bella, what you saw earlier this afternoon was real. Do you believe me?" his eyes probed mine, searching.

I looked down. "I saw Jacob somehow change into a wolf. Which means he's a werewolf-and werewolves don't exist." My eyes rose to meet his.

His eyes were so sad. With a voice so quiet I had to lean over to hear it he said, "There are other things that shouldn't exist either." He said it with great resignation.

"Tell me, Edward. What others?"_ Crap, I just had to ask. Bella, why can't you just keep your big trap shut?_

"You've seen so many things the last few days, you might understand. If you become uncomfortable in any way, tell me and I will stop. What I am going to say, well, it's important to listen completely and not interrupt me. Will you do that for me?"

I nodded. He had my full attention.

"You've seen the animosity between Jacob and I. It's been going on for a very long time. It was so volatile that a treaty of sorts was signed between my people and his." I felt my eyes start to glaze over and fought to stay with him. I needed to hear this.

"Our kinds have been enemies for centuries. My family is an unusual one compared to the rest of our own kind."

"The rest of your ki-?" He cut me off.

"Bella, I asked you to hear me out completely. All will be explained." I looked at him and nodded for him to continue.

He moved closer to me and I felt my heart nearly jump out of my chest. It startled me. That had never happened before. I heard him chuckle, almost like he knew it was happening. I blushed on cue. "I love your blush, Bella. It enhances your already stunning beauty." _What drugs is he on? Did someone spike his drink-oh wait, he never drank anything. _

The only thing 'stunning' I was remotely familiar with was Charlie's stun gun.

Edward hesitated before beginning again. Determination crossed his face. He removed his shirt and I about fell over. _He is so pale, but so completely hot. Hot hot. _"Bella, give me your hand." Cue the blush again. He chuckled as he took my hand in his and placed it on his chest over his heart.

_Holy. Mother. Of. God._ He is ice cold. Like a cool rock in a stream. I then named the source of my rising anxiety. I pushed myself back, stood up and ran into the light of the meadow. I felt safer. I shouted. "You have no freaking heart beat! What are you?" Suddenly blurred images from a haunting dream melded into this reality. I fell to my knees as the tears erupted in a violent expulsion. "What is happening to me?" I cried to the sky. "Is this some freaking cosmic joke? Why me?" I trailed off. "Why me?" I asked in a whisper.

*************

All was silent. I don't know how long I stayed there. Ever so softly I heard him. "I am so sorry, Bella. I honestly never wanted you to find out. Do you want me to leave?"

I didn't know what to think. He still hadn't told me what he was, besides dead. Then I knew the answer. I didn't want to believe it, but the proof had presented itself earlier this afternoon. _Vampire?_

I only knew about vampires from the movies and Edward was nothing like them. He had a conscious.

_Bella, only you would fall in love with a vampire, if that's what he is. Only you. I wonder if he has fangs..._

I shook my head, not wanting to go there. I looked up to meet his eyes. "Vampire?" I whispered.

He wouldn't look at me. "Yes."

"Alice?" I queried.

"Yes."

"Oh. I see," I said calmly. I wasn't afraid. "Why haven't you guys tried to drink my blood?-is there something wrong with it?" I was curious.

"Bella," he sighed. "When I said we were different from others like us I spoke the truth. We get our blood from other sources. Animals, mostly. We call ourselves vegetarians."

_What? Vegetarian vampires? No freaking way!_

I had to clamp my lips to keep from laughing.

"What?" he said with a raised eyebrow "You think this is _funny_?"

The dam broke. The tide rose up and erupted. The laughter wouldn't stop. It was like a geyser. It was possibly the worst time in recorded history for a giggle attack to strike and then, _of course,_ I snorted which brought another fit of hysteria. I fell over and wrapped my hands around my middle, holding myself together.

Between my gasping breaths and the tears that started to run down my cheeks I managed to croak out, "Tofu!" He was staring at me like I was off my rocker, and I supposed in some ways I was. Eventually, it ran its course and I was spent.

I finally sat up and moved to the closest tree, leaning up against it. Edward cautiously approached me. I was exhausted and waved him over. I hadn't noticed that he'd stopped breathing. I noticed it now.

He silently sat down facing me. He had a slight smile on his face, but I could tell that my behavior had surprised him. _That makes two of us_. "Edward, I'm ok." I reached for his knee to reassure him. "I think the stress of all this just spilled over."

"Well, that does make sense." He looked thoughtful. "Doesn't any of this bother you?"

I answered him honestly. "Believe it or not, no it doesn't. It explains so much. For one, it explains you. Why your reaction and feelings toward me changed overnight. A normal human wouldn't be able to manage that and be sincere."

I looked down at the blades of grass between my crossed feet. _Ok, just say it, Bella_. I mumbled, "I feel the same way." Then everything changed forever.

I looked up afraid of what I might see in his eyes. Our eyes met and locked again. He slowly moved his face toward mine and our lips met with the barest whisper of silken contact. I shivered at the tingles that ran down my spine.

He separated his lips from mine and looked back into my eyes. "Oh, my Bella," his voice was husky now. "You are mine." But then a painful electric shock wracked my body. I gasped and grabbed his shoulders. "Oh my god," he gasped. He appeared stunned. "Bella," he croaked in pain. "What is happening?" he sounded _scared._

My eyes flew open at the barrage of images that suddenly crashed into my reality. Some sort of barrier had been ripped open and it gave no mercy. I remembered. All of them. The terror, the darkness, the emptiness, the despair. Edward attacking me. Killing me. _Alice._ Alice saved me.

I pushed him away in a panic as I fought against being pulled back into the horror of my darkest nightmares. My hands grabbed the earth beside me and I shoved myself as far away as I could.

A familiar scream rose in my throat as I got up and blindly started to run. I didn't bother looking back. I knew from my dreams he would indeed kill me.

_Bella, run! Don't stop! I knew it. I freaking should have known! It was all a ruse to get me here. It was all a lie! _

"Bella!" He cried after me. I heard him get up. "BELLA!" I didn't know how much time I had, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I heard a growl followed by a snarl. The adrenaline spurred me forward with a speed I'd not thought possible.

He was getting closer. _It's over. It's all over._ Edward cried after me with panic rising in his own voice. "Bella, STOP! Please!"

"ALICE!" I screamed in desperation. "Alice, save me!" I cried up into the sky as I started to stumble. "Alice, where are you?" I called much softer. I was going down. As the ground rose to meet me I heard a loud crack as my head slammed on to a rock that jutted out from the forest floor.

"BELLA, NO!" Edward screamed. I was so numb and disoriented. I felt something wet running down my neck. I wasn't crying. It was blood. He drank blood. As he knelt over me I used the strength I had left to try and fend him off. His eyes went black and I knew I was going to die.

I loved him. I managed to look up into his feral eyes and said the words that had been my salvation in my dream. "I love you, Edward. Come back to me." Then my world tilted.

**Story Notes:**

I heart Kake hard for holding my internet hands and staying up with me all night while I have my anxiety attacks over this story.

The prologue is next.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Hands down this is the hardest chapter I've ever had to write. I actually had to take a couple days to prepare for it. It had to be just "right."

I was afraid to post it. But for better or worse it's part of the story.

**Note:** Warning: this chapter has scenes of graphic violence that are described in detail. Just an FYI for those who don't like reading that sort of thing. It also has Major. Heart. Fail. Tissues might be in order. Details in the story notes should help with any questions.

I apologize in advance for any punctuation/grammar errors. This chapter ended up being posted without beta review as real life grabbed both of them hard. I had to put on my big girl panties and get this to you without a longer delay.

This chapter is brought to you by: Tora Tora-Phantom Rider, Three Days Grace-Animal I have become, and Pantera-Planet Caravan

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I just cry over it.

* * *

Chapter 14

I'd like to say we had a wonderful afternoon together exploring each other and learning his family's history. Unfortunately that's not what happened. I don't know if my mind will ever allow me to escape the incredible horror of it.

"Bella." I heard two voices pleading. Fear as I heard Edward's and desperation as I heard Alice. "Bella my love, please wake up."

_Love? What the hell happened to me?_

I felt Alice's cool hands soothing my face. She was wiping my neck. I smelled blood. My blood. I remembered. Alice held me down "Bella, its ok. We're not leaving you. I'm here. You are safe."

"What about my blood?" I managed to gasp out. Things were so foggy.

Alice looked worried. "Edward, this still isn't the vision I saw. I don't understand what's happening between you two but it's growing stronger. I'm scared. I can't tell you what's going to happen to either of you."

Edward closed his eyes. "Alice it feels like we are being consumed by _something_. I can't truly describe it, but I'm afraid she can't take much more and I can't lose her now."

Alice slowly let me sit up and steadied me. "I remember all of it." I quietly moaned. "All of it."

"Me too." Edward whispered. "Bella I would never hurt you. I'd die first." The tortured look on his face along with the fear in his eyes confirmed it. He really did love me. I just wasn't sure either one of us would survive.

Alice was giving Edward triage instructions. Like he really needed them-he told me he had been to medical school after all. Several times. Then she stiffened and her eyes glazed over.

_Great. Another vision. I wonder what disaster will befall me this time?_

"Edward don't let go of her for one minute until I get back." Then they looked at each other and did that twin thing again. This time I didn't want to know.

Alice left on her unknown mission and I made a feeble attempt to become presentable. I sure didn't want to have to explain this one to Charlie. My ears were buzzing and I felt dizzy. I was mortified when I leaned over and threw up. Edward didn't flinch. He supported me until the spasms stopped and I was able to sit up again.

"Bella, you're hurt-really hurt this time. You need to go to the hospital." He tried to sound convincing but I could tell he didn't want to be separated from my anymore than I from him.

"When Alice gets back, I'll have her get Carlisle. He's always ready for emergencies." He looked worried. "Edward, don't take me to the hospital. And I don't want Carlisle to tell my dad." I winced as he shifted, pulling me closer and cradling me to his chest. His coolness eased my ache and soothed my tattered soul.

Alice came back with a bag of supplies. Turns out she was pretty good at field triage after all. Was there anything these people couldn't do?

Edward head snapped around to look at Alice. Their noses wrinkled at the same time. I knew that look. _Werewolves._

They both looked over at me as I tried to rise and walk. It was a fruitless attempt and I immediately had to sit back down. Edward didn't want to move me. Alice looked into his eyes. "Go, Alice" he said urgently.

"Edward, what's going on?" If he was keeping something from me, it couldn't be good.

"Alice went to get the others." He wouldn't look at me.

"Why?" I started getting nervous.

He looked directly into my eyes "To keep you safe, Bella."

I was almost afraid to ask "Safe from what?"

"Jacob." He said in flat emotionless tone."I can just barely hear his thoughts. He is crazy with jealousy and anger. His requests for help from the elders were denied." He growled. "He thinks I am going to kill you."

He stood up and began to circle around me. I was getting really scared. _Jacob wouldn't hurt me, would he? No-I can't believe it. _

Edward continued, his eyes constantly searching the forest. "Bella, he's shifted again and is extremely dangerous. He is still new at this and can't always control his instincts. The only reason we are taking action now it that you are in very grave danger." My eyes flew open wide and my heart started beating so hard I thought it might actually burst from my chest.

"Edward, I'm scared." I whispered. "Don't leave me."

"I won't. I will protect you. The others are coming-I just hope they're in time."

I heard a strangled howl followed by an enraged snarl. It sounded wild. Savage. I had a feeling he was coming for me. And Edward would not be able to stop him. I started to cry. Again. _I. Can't. Do. This. Any. More._

People were probably going to die because of me and I wasn't about to let that happen. I struggled to stand and made it this time, leaning against a rotting tree for support. The adrenaline started to flow as I tried to form a plan.

Escaping Edward was the problem. If Jacob wanted me, he could freaking come and find me. This had to be settled once and for all. _This is all so unreal. If I die, everyone will be safe. I'm so tired. I just want it to stop._

"Edward, I need to try and clear my head. I need to walk a bit. You said he's miles away so I should be fine for a bit." I cautiously looked to see if he believed me. He was distant slightly nodding his head. I continued trying my best to sound convincing. "I won't go far. I just need to think. Alone." The tears had slowed but were still falling to my annoyance.

"Bella, it's not safe." He wasn't really listening to me.

"He won't hurt me." _Jacob will listen to me. _"Trust me for once Edward. Just trust me. And you are fast enough to help me if I need it."

He was paying attention now. "I won't risk it. If you were mortally wounded you only have one of two choices: to let me change you and become like us or ….die…" There was such conflict in his voice.

It only took me moments to ponder his words and give him the answer. From his reaction it's not the one he was expecting. "Edward, I would want to die." He looked incredulous. "I don't want to have these memories for eternity. I'm tired. I'm so tired." He looked hurt and looked down at the emerald carpet of moss. His growing internal conflict was becoming even more apparent.

_I hope you understand, Edward. My love. My first and only love._

I struggled with the words that came next but that I also knew were so necessary. "So we love each other. Yay. We have a strange connection of unknown power. It frightens me. Edward, it's probably going to destroy us. I really don't think either one of us would survive if we continued. I-"

"Bella, you don't know what you're saying. Carlisle is looking for anything that might help us. He thinks us being apart might be part of it. I have no idea what he means and he's blocked his thoughts from me." He sounded desperate "Please don't leave me Bella. I...I can't be alone again. Not now."

"Give me 30 minutes, Edward. If Jacob doesn't show by then I will do what you want. Promise." And I meant it.

I was wobbly as I pushed myself off the tree. A branch scratched the back of my head, making it start to bleed again. Edward was at my side in seconds. "Bella you can't-"I cut him off. "Edward, I'll be ok. I need to do this. The blood isn't that bad-my tears are worse."

I could tell it was against his better judgment, but he released my shoulders and let me walk. I tried to walk upright but was so weak that I often had to lean down and use tree stumps and whatever handholds I could find to propel myself forward.

It seemed like I walked for miles, but realistically had gone about 5oo yards. Exhausted, I collapsed to the ground. I yelped with the pain as my body reminded me where my injuries were.

I heard his panicked yell, "Bella?!?!" And then he crashed through the bushes. As I looked around a familiar path came into view I tried hard to ignore the quiet whispers that started to echo around me, calling my name.

An earlier warning came unbidden to mind; given me by Jacob or Edward-I could not really remember-that the place that had once been my greatest comfort now possibly harbored the thing that would be the most dangerous to me. I refused to let myself focus on that fact. Or what that with their true natures had revealed.

Memories flooded in and uncontrollable sobs shook my body. I could not see through the tears that started running down my face in its violent torrent. Had they ever stopped? I tried to rise but stumbled and fell to my knees, unable to keep my balance. I was exhausted.

I felt like a dark void was overtaking me, sapping my remaining strength. Unable to continue I collapsed, my fall broken by the soft bracken. My breath came in gasps as I struggled to breathe, wracked by the winds of my emotion.

I was unaware of the subtle movement around me. I felt something pricking at the back of my consciousness that caused me to look up. I couldn't believe what was standing before me. I froze. In that moment everything became surreal.

Crimson eyes leered at me. The predator snarled, moving almost silently with an assassin's grace. The mist swirled through the moss covered trees; snaking and caressing as a lover's tender hands would.

I felt the dampness accompanied by the scent of decaying vegetation. The forest that surrounded me was unnaturally still and silent; the only sound I heard was the frantic beating of my heart pounding in my ears. Somehow I was not surprised that I ended up here.

With a terrifying growl the predator leaped towards me with violent fury. I closed my eyes hoping it will be over quickly. As the distance closed between us time sped up and slowed down in the same moment bringing with it exceptional clarity. The Bloodlust. It had taken over. I knew now that I had been wrong. He _was_ going to kill me.

I had heard stories about how a person's life is supposed to flash before their eyes moments before death, but not me. My eyes opened with a flash and locked onto the glowing spheres that belonged to the one who would end my existence. I could not move. Would not move.

In the briefest of moments before he struck I whispered "I forgive you". Figures. I couldn't even die normally. But I was certain of one thing. I could never exist without _him_. My soul mate. My Edward.

_I love you. I'm sorry. Jacob I truly do forgive you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. _

Just as my eyes closed for what I was sure would be the last time I caught a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I heard another snarl. This one was different. Filled with agony and rage.

A terrifying roar bellowed through the air and before I could grasp what was happening a blurred form flew across my vision and I heard a thunderous crash, the strength of it reverberating throughout my body. It was deafening. The force of the collision carried them away from me and into the woods.

_Edward! Oh God, where are the others?! WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?!?!_

I couldn't see clearly, but knew this would be a fight to the death. I wondered who was going to die, and shuddered. Either way it would be my fault.

I heard a screeching noise followed by a howl of rage and pain. I remembered Edward telling me that the only way to kill a vampire was to tear them apart and burn the pieced before they reattached. I shivered.

Then a bit of sanity returned to me. Edward! "NO!" I shrieked "Edward don't leave me!!!"

My strength fueled by adrenaline, I pushed myself up into a semi crouch, and then to stand. My knees were shaky and things were hazy but I was able to remain upright. I felt an almost morbid curiosity to see what was happening. Of course it would probably get me killed, but I should have died minutes ago…

_This is freaking insane-I need to get out of here!_

I had a glimpse of something being thrown up against one of the larger old growth trees. I heard a loud crack and the tree slowly leaned over and then fell with a crash as the sounds started getting closer.

_That tree was huge!_

A howl-his cry of pain was followed by another feral growl and the sound of rocks being ripped apart and Edward's screams. Then I heard a tearing sound, thick and wet, followed by another scream. I wanted to run to him. To save him. But who would I be saving? As I stood there my sense of self preservation that had been so greatly lacking to this point started to kick in and I pictured what would happen if I was inadvertently thrown up against one of those trees.

I turned and started to run the first direction I was facing. I quickly realized that running was not a realistic option so I opted for staggering further into the woods. I really didn't care as long as I was putting distance between us. Them.

I no longer wanted to exist in a world with unearthly creatures. I just wanted to have a normal life with normal friends, not ones that fought killing me or each other on a daily basis.

The crashing, ripping, snarling, and howling continued. I don't know how it was possible for either of them to speak but I clearly heard Jacob. "Now, bloodsucker you die. You die for destroying my future. You die for destroying Bella." And I heard Edward's final scream.

My heart stopped as I was suddenly grabbed from behind. I screamed loudly and I fought as hard as I could-kicking, pounding with my fists on whatever had taken me. I was in a complete hysterical panic. "Bella."

I froze and instantly stopped the assault on my captor. My mind was playing tricks on me. The female voice registered somewhere in my subconscious. There was no time for me to think. I was thrown over her shoulder. The pace did not slow as I was carried over the uneven ground. I could hear something crashing through the terrain behind us. I couldn't see anything. It was catching up to us. _Us? _I knew it was a vampire simply because of the speed and smoothness of her pace. Then it registered as I recognized the scent. _Alice!_

It wasn't like I could demand that Alice stop carrying me and stop for a discussion. I was terrified of being dropped. I desperately tried to keep my hold around the waist of the tiny vampire. I was somewhat hindered since I was hanging over her shoulders and my body was flailing everywhere. I held on for all I was worth.

"He's gone." I heard her whisper to me between strides.

"I know." I replied numbly.

My mind would not allow itself to consider any survivors. With a burst of fury Jacob caught up with us. I could feel her body tense beneath me as she sensed the attacker behind us. I looked up when she tensed and once again I stared into crimson irises.

I meant to scream but all that escaped was a hoarse whisper. "Why Jacob? Why? Did you really have to do this to us?"

With speed that again surprised and terrified me Jacob launched himself at us.

I heard Alice whisper softly "I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."

I gasped as arms I felt her hands firmly but painfully grab my thighs. I felt my body whip and my neck snap around as she violently swung me around and away from her. I flew into the air. It was the oddest sensation. It was so fast. My heart should have stopped from the terror, but it didn't. I became disoriented and numb.

Things again shifted into slow motion._ So this is what it's like to fly. _I felt several bone crunching snaps as my body crashed into a huge tree. I was not in any pain, which surprised me. I was sliding down against it, sweet smelling bark cascading down with me. I fought to keep my eyes open. _I'm so tired. _I knew I must be dying. What I saw was before me was just not possible.

_Not possible._

She stopped and spun to face her enemy. The last thing I saw as I reached the ground was the two of them leaping towards each other's throats. And Edwards ravaged body flying up behind them. He was completely overcome and insane. Filled with pain and rage.

Bodies colliding, screams, yells, flesh tearing. The smell of blood. Another sickly sweet smell. I heard odd thuds landing around me. I shuddered. _Body parts. _And in a voice I'd never heard Edward use before-_defeat_-he screamed "Alice RUN!"

I was actually stunned when I heard her footsteps quickly fade into the mists of the forest. She left him. She left us. He was going to die. I was going to die. The others would be too late.

Edward. Jacob. Alice.

This time, I welcomed the darkness. I begged for it. I didn't want to come back. Ever.

********************************************

Dripping. Shuffling. Strangled and rasping breath. Silence. The silence that only allows the barest of whispered winds to flow through the dense walls of the forest.

As the wind lingered upon my cheek my first recognizable thoughts were from my childhood. Someone once told me that the only way sunlight reached the forest floor was because fairies carried it down on their wings. I loved fairies. I longed for my own happy ending. But it would never again be possible.

Reality started to return as I began to feel felt fire and ice alternately licking its way down my body. The parts I could actually feel anyway.

_Where am I? My whole freaking body hurts! What did I do now? Charlie's gonna kill me when I get home… Wait…Edward…_

"Bella" I heard a raspy weak voice call for me. I smelled blood. I was shocked back to seeing the hell emerging from memory. I saw him die. It wasn't possible. _It's not possible!_ _I saw them both die!_ "Edward?!" I was relieved and frantic and disbelieving at the same time. I turned toward the sound of his voice and couldn't hold back my scream that erupted.

I tried to block what I was seeing in front of me. It was a gruesome scene straight from the most graphic of horror movies. But this was _real_. They were in _pieces._

Blood was everywhere. There were bits of bloody hair hanging from the leaves on the bushes. Shreds of cloth were strewn. Decimated tissue in clumps where one of them had torn a piece from the other. They were still breathing-both of them. I desperately wished I could pass out and escape but my gut wretched violently and I began to vomit instead.

Edward's head was still attached to his upper torso but was torn completely open on one side. One arm was completely severed leaving only shredded bits of stony flesh where it had been attached. Both of his legs were obviously broken and torn open with one also early severed. Through his savagely ripped shirt, I could see his back had been shredded and torn, large chunks bitten out. I saw his exposed spine. I felt the bile rising again and don't know how I managed to keep it back.

_Oh my god, this can't be real. Make it go away!_

I dragged myself over to him. "Edward…" My heart sank as I cautiously approached him. There was something very wrong and I knew we had finally run out of time. He was fading. I had to make sure he knew how I felt. Even if it was the last thing I would say to him. I wanted him to take my words with him as he went, well, wherever vampires went when they died.

I took a shaking hand and gently stroked the intact side of his face. "Edward look at me." I was strangely calm. I closed my eyes trying to use my sheer will to make him better. _Please don't leave me!_

I opened my eyes and linked with his. They had started to look glazed and distant. I could no longer keep the desperation from my voice. "Edward, I love you. You are my soul. Half of me dies with you today." I had a fleeting thought pass through my mind as I felt another tear trail down. How was it possible for one person to cry so much? Then another one fell. Then another. Hot and agonizingly slow. These were not tears of cleansing. They were tears of utter despair. _Please don't leave me. _My soul was leaking.

Failing miserably to steady my voice I begged. "Edward, don't leave me-take me with you. Tell me how." I desperately pleaded. "Please." I could no longer stand to not touch him. I tenderly ran my finger down his jaw line until I reached torn flesh. I forced myself not to recoil and placed my palm back up higher against his face. He managed to focus his eyes on mine just for a moment.

I lay beside him and gently reached under his head, turning it to mine and pulling myself to him. This time I didn't cringe as my hands cradled mangled tissue and violated flesh. I felt a tingling sensation similar to a limb that has fallen asleep. I only held him tighter, wanting to savor every single moment I had left to me.

I leaned forward intending to nuzzle his check. Although it was fading his scent was heady and drew my lips to his. His eyes rolled back and stayed that way as our lips touched. The electricity that was once our jubilant triumph faded and I refused to take my lips from his. I couldn't let go. He breathed into me again and was still. I had kissed him for the last time. He was gone. My arms had gone from slight stinging to burning and I had to pull away from him. They ached with emptiness. My eyes were transfixed on his body is disbelief. _It's over. He left me…. He promised…_

I heard a faint rustle and jumped. I was ready for whatever unholy creature was going to come for me next. And this time I wasn't going to run. I heard a moan. Jacob! I had to find Jacob. I stood numb and in shock as I viewed the surroundings area that had resulted in two very violent deaths. Only supernatural creatures could have created this vile carnage.

There was yet more blood. It was everywhere I looked and had started to pool in some places. I slipped and stumbled over something as I walked forward. I looked down and gasped in horror. It was a bare human foot. Jacob's foot. He must have shifted back during the fight. I had no idea what I would find.

Maybe there was a slight chance that only one of them would have to die. I wasn't sure I could handle one death because of me, but two? I would end my misery myself if it came to that. _Like I need an excuse._

I began to really search for him in earnest and quietly called out his name. "Jacob?" I heard a noise and looked to my left._ OH MY GOD. _I was so stunned I couldn't move. I was frozen. Jacob had partially shifted back. He had been completely torn apart and flung around the clearing.

His missing foot had been attached to a wolf's leg, the muscles still twitching in an attempt to heal. But there was no amount of medical help that could have helped _this_. The leg continued up to what should have been his hip. It wasn't there. I saw a torso, or part of one flung across the path about 10 yards away. There were so many body parts; I didn't know where to start.

But I knew then that Jacob was dead, or nearly so. In that moment I had to admit to myself that there was some spark of feeling. I hadn't been aware of it at all. I felt like the sun had been blotted out and I'd be frozen forever. He was the Jacob from my childhood. He was the Jacob that could have been mine. I realized that his character and nobility wouldn't have allowed him to just step away from Edward and I. He could not have me but his passion demanded solution.

Incredibly I heard a slight moan ahead of me. I only caught glimpses of shredded and torn limbs, fur, and and…something else I didn't even want to imagine as I ran toward the sound.

"Jacob how can you still be alive?" I was seeing the impossible. His head was human, and was attached to the ripped open half torso of a wolf. I could actually see his heart beating, but rapidly slowing. Any shred of hope within me shriveled and faded like a candle being snuffed out. Guilt replaced it. _How can he be conscious? I am responsible for this._

I bent to him and his eyes were bare slits, still will a tint of red. I recognized the look in his eyes. They were glazed and fading. Of all the things I could have said to him I asked "Jacob, why?"

"I thought he had hurt you. I was pro-" He coughed and blood flowed from his mouth and nose. "Protecting you." "Bella, I have to go. I have one thing to ask you." His voice was growing weaker with each work he spoke. "Can I ask you to watch over my body so my soul leaves safely?" His voice was the barest of whispers. I didn't know what to do. I didn't let Edward die alone, and couldn't let Jacob either.

"Alright Jacob" I said. "What do I have to do?"

"Jjjjuusst siit with me…" I would never know exactly what his last words were but they sounded like "I love you Bella...I always loved you…." He coughed again with a final shudder a surge of blood gushed from his ears. His eyes closed. I was completely empty and void.

As I closed my eyes I felt a strong rush of wind. I opened my eyes to see what was happening and they grew wide as I swore I saw flames swirling around us. The flames caressed his body and in one great burst, it shot for the sky. I looked down and it was over. He was gone.

I was alone. Completely alone and knew insanity was coming for me. And this time it would be forever. Charlie would miss me. I was sure that the Cullens would never forgive me for getting Edward killed. I knew the Quileute would feel the same about my responsibility for Jacob's death as well.

I would not be capable of bearing that heavy weight, and no manner of counseling or psychotropic drugs would ever touch the grief and guilt that I would surely carry. If I was certain of one thing it was that I refused to be a prisoner of the insanity that was coming.

I knew what I had to do. It would be justice and retribution for both of them. Numbly I stood. I turned and started walking toward the cliffs. I ignored the pain shooting through my body and heart. I grabbed for trees to keep me upright as I urged myself on.

I tried to keep the haunting images of carnage out of my head, but they wouldn't let me be. I faintly heard the surf in the distance. The images finally overpowered me and I fell to the ground and curled up in to the fetal position and started screaming. Only throaty whispers came out. My voice long abused had given out. But I couldn't stop the dry and painful spasms.

I had to have been hallucinating because I swore I heard voices. Alice's was the strongest. Alice had gone for help! And now it was too late. I couldn't bear to see her face so I raised myself up and threw myself forward. It was so close.

I could just make out the edge of the cliff. I was crawling toward it clawing my hands into the dirt, grasping at branches, rocks, anything that would get me closer to my goal. My fingers were bleeding and my nails had been torn off in my struggle. My chest felt so heavy. I was almost there.

_Keep. Breathing. Keep moving. Edward, I'm coming. Wait for me. I'm coming._

I reached for the edge of the cliff that would send me into oblivion and I heard Alice scream my name. I vaguely heard thundering footsteps as I rolled over and felt the exhilaration of release. As I started to fall, a hand grabbed my foot and swung me back up. I landed with a thud. If I could have screamed I would have. The intensity of the pain shooting through my body was unfathomable. I couldn't breathe. _I can't breathe!_

Alice ran right up behind my rescuer and grabbed his shoulders. She was shaking. Her eyes were wide with fright. And then she_ smiled_ at me.

_Why is she smiling? Crap, it's getting hard to breathe. I can't breathe!_

My chest grew heavy and everything started to fog. I heard screaming and pleading. "Bella! No Bella, no Bella, NO!" I just wanted to float.

"Edward I'm coming. Wait for me." I sighed as I sank into my escape. The last words I heard were from Alice.

"Carlisle we're losing her-HELP HER!!"

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**Story Notes:**

Sadly, Jacob had to die in this story. His character is powerful, noble, passionate, and impulsive. There is no way that the Jacob in this story could have "faded away" off to the side and let Edward have Bella. My goal was to end Jacob's character in such a way that gave him his nobility and entry into the next world carried in the arms of the Phoenix. The story is not over yet. So please let me know how I did because I am terrified.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Sorry for the multiple emails....formatting failed miserably. An computer uploading issues (maybe the thunderstorm outside had something to do with it) I am going to get this posted before lighting zaps my laptop. My apologies for any mistakes I missed. And again, MAJOR apologies for the multiple alerts!

Thanks to those who actually reviewed the last chapter! (It's nice to know that there is life out there.)

This Chapter brought to you by: Device-Holding On To A Heart Attack

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I own a Cullen crest wrist cuff. I even wear it occasionally. I do not intend any infringement from any author anywhere.

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Chapter 15

_"And in local news...The cause of the attack this weekend has been determined to be an unprovoked bear mauling according to investigators from the Department of Fish and Game. The brutal attack left one person dead and one in critical condition recovering at Forks General. Wildlife scientists suspect that a rogue grizzly is responsible. At this time the names of the victims are not being released at the request of both families pending the final result of the investigation. Due to the dangerous nature of these circumstances all public access to the surrounding recreational facilities is restricted until further notice. If you have a bear sighting to report, please dial 911 or any local law enforcement agency. And now for local weather. The forecast for the next 7 days is..."_

_******************************************************_

Bella POV

Bright lights assaulted me. Sharp staccato beats playing their parts in a symphony of modern technology. I think someone was trying to talk to me. I didn't care. I was becoming more aware of my surroundings and panicked at the thought of leaving my comfortable cocoon of white noise. The symphony played smoothly, strong and flowing. I hurt everywhere. I hurt in places that I never knew existed. I tried to remember what had happened and how I had gotten here. A sharp intake of breath as the memory of Edward's death crashed over me. I felt like I was drowning. The sharp stabbing pain and heaviness descending on my chest began to take me under. The electronic symphony played a crescendo.

*************************************

Alice POV

I was torn between the needs of my brother and the needs of my best friend. Edward would recover. He needed to get to a safe place. It was only a matter of time for him. It was a very different story for Bella. I was going to fight for her. I was well aware that the risk of discovery was at the forefront of every mind. I also knew that if we did nothing to try and help Bella that Edward would never forgive himself. I knew by this time that he would follow her out of this life-not only because he loved her but because the bizarre connection they shared would demand it.

My motives were indeed partly selfish. I didn't want to lose either of them. I decided that a little more pain for Edward to save Bella was the best path to take and worth teh risk. I ran to Edward and his eyes slowly opened. Our gazed locked and I shoved my thoughts at him explaining my idea. He showed slight relief and gave the barest of nods. I had to act now if it was to do any good. "Edward!!!" I howled in anguish. That was all it took to get them rushing to his side.

"I...can't...lose..." The words stumbled from my lips as I stood shaking my head. Carlsile placed a hand on my shoulder. "Go to Bella, Alice. She needs you."

I had a glimpse of hope that this was actually going to work. I spun and leapt toward where Bella lay. When I was sure they weren't paying attention to me I jabbed the end of one of my fingers and allowed a single drop of venom to bead. I whispered "We need you Bella..." and quickly stuck my finger into her mouth and rubbed the venom against the back of her throat. I hoped it would be enough.

*********************************

Edward POV

There aren't any words to accurately describe how a vampire that has not been completely destroyed heals. It hurts. A lot. In all my years of immortality, I'd never sustained this level of injury. The sensation of my shredded nerves as they reattached themselves to my body was enough to rival the most ravenous thirst. Pure agony.

They had come in time. My family. I had known they would. The only doubt I had about my safetly was whether or not the wolves would have come upon the scene and finished me before discovering the truth of the horrible thing that had taken place.

I was powerless to move as I heard Bella launch herself over the cliff. I would be grateful to Emmett for the rest of my existence. His hand stopped her suicide. She thought I was dead.

My only concern was Bella. I heard Alice screaming they were losing her and I felt the last piece of my shriveled lifeless heart disintegrate. They would allow me to heal as much as possible before moving me. I wanted to use it. "Help her!" I hoarsely croaked. Carlisle had looked me in the eyes and I tried to convey my desperate request. He nodded, understanding my request and all the hidden implications. He quickly left my vision as he strode to her side.

*************************

I most clearly heard Alice's thoughts. Bella was critically injured and would die soon if she didn't get the help she needed. Carlisle worked to stabilize her while Rose ran to the payphone at the trailhead. She placed a panicked call to 911 reporting an 'animal attack' and that people had been killed. Her hysteria was very convincing. One thing about Rose is that she could _act_. She waited until she could just hear the sirens in the distance and ran back to help the rest of the family.

Bella was not faring well. Carlisle returned with a grim expression on his face. "I did what I could Edward, but there is so much damage." His eyes avoided mine. I feared she'd given in and no longer had the will to fight for anything.

***************************

By the time Carlisle had discovered what was left of me Alice had already 'fixed' the scene and simulated a bear attack. It was the only believable scenario for this situation. And then once Bella was well, we would have to leave. Alice's pained looks told me that Bella was not well. Not well at all. She was dying. Her dispair overwhelmed me and my sorrow echoed hers. Her thoughts came at me shouting and pleading. I summoned up all my energy to give approval of her plan. I was only able to give a slight nod.

**************************

Carlisle may have been the most competent vampire surgeon on the planet but even he was limited by his environment. After much pleading to wait from Alice and a quick family conference it was agreed that I needed to be moved. My concern was for Bella. Only Bella. They were going to take me from her. They needed to get me to a safer place for treatment. I needed Bella to be safe. I ached for Bella. My eyes snapped open._ Bella…._

Until my body had repaired itself I had no way to tell her I was still alive. Well to more accurate, that I still existed. I wanted to come back for her but she had to be alive for me to do so_. I am coming back for you. _This was going to be complicated. Very complicated.

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**Story Notes:**

Okay, just a tiny itty bitty update to let you know that Edward is not dead. But it's a long journey back. Hope it made sense!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updating. I do sort of have an excuse. Struckatthesky (aka Kake) and I are writing a new story "Of Squalor And Ashes" together and I think you'll really like it. I am writing Bella's POV and she is taking on Edward. (The truth is that it has taken control of us, lol.)

Thanks to those who actually reviewed the last chapter! (It's nice to know that there is life out there.) Your readership is appreciated!

There is a new Twi-everything site! You can check it out at www(dot)adifferentforest(dot)com. It was put together by many of your favorite fan fic writers.

And many thanks to Kake for her quick ninja beta skills! (The cookies are in the mail.)

This Chapter brought to you by: Type O Negative-I Don't Wanna Be Me

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it. I only wish….

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**~~Bella ~~**

Why did the Cullens stop me? I didn't understand. They knew that I couldn't exist without him. Maybe this was their punishment for me. They knew what my life would be like without him. If I'd only gone over the edge a few seconds sooner I would be at peace now. Or at least not in this hellish agony.

I turned and curled up inside of myself as much as the confining jacket would let me. I closed my eyes again trying to block out as much of the harsh morning light as I was able. The light was now my enemy.

While I had fought the darkness before, I prayed for it now, as it was my salvation. I saw him there in my dreams. They were really closer to nightmares but I would gladly welcome them as they always ended with his incredibly beautiful face smiling at me.

And now that was even denied me. The one infinitesimal second I had comfort. I couldn't help but wonder if the universe was playing some great cosmic joke on me. The doctors in their wisdom decided that I needed 'special' medication that inhibited REM sleep, aka 'dreaming.'

I would wake up on the floor not knowing how I got there with weird scrapes and bruises all over my body. I often had horrible headaches that made me want to scream. I had no memory of how it happened. I was so incredibly annoyed that I had become locked so deeply inside of myself that I couldn't explain.

I heard the nurses talking about me with pity. Something about whenever I slept I would wake screaming. I would then either start ramming myself into walls or trying to crash through the window. Or they would come in to find me huddled into myself scraping my arms or face with my fingernails. Funny. I didn't remember any of it. _Because it's not me!_

I wanted to beg them to let me dream. Didn't they understand that the nightmares allowed me to see? They were the only tangible evidence that I was still alive. My mind still functioned but as a spectator, remote and devoid of any emotion or pain.

*************************

Guilt had become a living entity that now controlled my body. I felt disconnected; it made no sense, yet perfect sense, at the same time. I was shoved into the recesses of my mind and could only watch. It wasn't a bad thing really. The pain wasn't nearly as harsh. It was kind of like being at a dentist who was kind enough to use sedation. I knew something horrible was happening to me but I didn't really care because I couldn't feel anything.

I watch from behind my eyes as my body would flail and strike out at anyone who came near. I would spontaneously shriek, wail, or laugh. I repeatedly yanked out the IVs and tried to leave my room. Once I jumped out of bed and reinjured my ankle causing blood to pour from the torn edges of the wound. The moment the scent of the blood hit my nose I passed out. It should have been impossible for me to walk on it to begin with. I had felt no pain.

I heard Charlie's voice through the mist telling me they had rushed me back to surgery and that they now realized that there was a much deeper wound than the one in my ankle. A wound much deeper than any ordinary physical injury.

The 'official' theory was that Jacob and I had gone for a walk and had startled a rogue Grizzly. It had attacked and dismembered Jacob in front of me and I had injured myself in an attempt to get away. I had been found in a collapsed bleeding heap at the edge of the cliff with my eyes wide open but seeing nothing.

I remember hearing an awful snap followed by a horrible pain in my ankle as Emmett yanked me back up on the edge of the cliff. In his fervor to save me he had forgotten his strength. I remember Alice's sad eyes as she gently placed her cool lips on my forehead. Rosalie's expressions alternated between pity and fury, like she couldn't make up her mind how to feel. Esme's expression was the easiest to read: _despair._ Not just pain or sadness… utter_ despair_. I remember Jasper eyeing everyone with a frustrated look. There was some conversation between them but it was too low for me to hear. Emmett and Jasper suddenly took off in the direction where Edward's body was. They must have thought they could save him but they were too late. You would think with their vampire senses they would have known that. Did vampires suffer denial? Did they truly grieve? How did all of that work? Edward was gone and now I would never know.

I remember looking up at their sad knowing faces. Esme bent down to whisper in my ear. "Bella, I will always love you. If you remember anything, remember that." She pushed away from me and went to Carlisle's arms.

Rosalie actually looked me in the eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry," before she turned and went to stand by Carlisle and Esme.

"Alice, it's time to go. The paramedics will be here in seconds." Carlisle gently prodded.

"I want her to myself for just a minute, Carlisle. They won't catch me. Please." I couldn't see Alice's face but the conflicting emotions in her voice were unmistakable.

I heard footsteps turn and fade into the bracken. "My dearest Bella," she whispered. "I will always be with you. I will watch for you. We will see each other again. Please get well. For all of us. Edward needs you." I could hear frantic voices and footsteps crashing through the forest as she whispered those last words.

_What? How can he need me? He's dead. Forever dead. I watched him die_. I hadn't paid attention but in those few seconds that I had been distracted she had gone. I was so _tired_.

**************

That's when it happened. Something tore me away from upper consciousness. I was oddly detached. I heard the voices talking to me and felt hands moving along my legs. The only response I gave was when they got to my ankle. I shouted something unintelligible and fell back into my silence. I don't even think I was blinking.

I didn't need to blink. I was looking at the sky.

It was twilight.

Beautiful twilight.

I wanted to remain in this time and space with the memories of our newly declared feelings fresh in my mind.

The voices became wasps buzzing around me.

I swatted at them trying to keep them away.

I felt one sting me and then fell into a sweet, blessed darkness.

_Please don't let me wake up!_

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**Story Notes:**

Yes, I know. A pathetically short chapter after such a long break. I wanted to stretch it out but it was meant to be what it is. Obviously Bella has no clue Edward is alive. So what happened to him? Edward is up next. See you soon!


	17. Chapter 17

** A/N:** Epic. Update. Fail. September was total real life fail. I am still trying to grasp it all. Writer's block made an extended visit. Thanks to Kake (aka struckatthesky) who was there to listen to my rants and ravings, whining, crying 'im' style, and trying really hard to help me get 'unblocked'. (I owe you one. Well, more like ten.)

**This chapter is brought to you by:**

Broken Frame-Barely Breathe, Three Days Grace-One X

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight

* * *

**~~Edward~~**

"Edward lay still," Carlisle's 'doctor' voice broke through the myriad of thoughts racing through my mind. _Funny, I didn't hear him coming. Oh great; brain damage._ When Rosalie found out, she'd never let me live it down. I knew as my healing continued that it would come back. No one clearly understood why, but if a vampire sustained any kind of deep head injury their gifts were temporarily neutralized. Carlisle had discovered the anomaly when doing some research for the Volturi almost a hundred years ago.

Let them enjoy it for now. My brows furrowed because I knew Carlisle had guessed the source of my frustration. He chuckled, only for a moment. I tried to lift my head and groaned at the pain that shot the length of my body. I knew that they would have to move me to a safe location to completely heal. The first step was to get the basic body parts reconnected and then wait for the rest to heal._ Bella! What about Bella?!_

I was stunned by the fact that she'd even left my thoughts for a few brief moments. I had faith that my family would do their best to aid her but if their hand was forced I would be their choice. I would be the one to survive.

I knew from Carlisle's expression that her prognosis wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. It was so agonizing. Why did fate decide to play with me? Was I meant to spend such a short time with my mate? _Mate?_

It's a word I _never _thought I would utter but as the thought expanded I knew it was true. I knew she felt something. It was in her look, her touch. Fire. Ice. They both had the capacity to destroy each other. _But would we?_

The venom in my veins ran colder still as I remembered the look on her face as she watched me 'die'. I never had the chance to explain vampire life to her. I had not expected the need to. I knew that I needed to get to her right away. I had to let her know I was alive. I had become completely enchanted. After many lifetimes, I'd finally found love. And I would do whatever it took to preserve it. _To save us._

*****************************

I wasn't going to even hazard a guess where it came from, but Emmett showed up with a hand held stretcher. With both Jasper and Carlisle's help they gently moved my ravaged body as carefully as they could. I was sure my scream was heard for miles. Jasper looked at me quickly overwhelmed with the emotion I was surely broadcasting. "ALICE!" he cried.

Alice came running and put her small hand against my cheek. She shook her head at me and quietly said, "Edward. No one can hear you. Your throat was completely shredded and still needs to heal." Which meant that my scream of absolute pain came out as a hoarse whisper that only those closest to me could hear.

"Try to lie as still as you can while we move you." Carlisle instructed. "We'll get you back to the house as soon as we can. When you are stable enough, we will leave for Denali." I tried to rise up in protest, but was incapacitated by my shattered spine. If I had the ability to actually speak I would have sworn several distasteful oaths; how could I leave Bella?

He continued. "It's the only place you can get the extended rest your body will need to heal." It was a nice way for him to say, "I'm sorry, Edward. Bella can't come." He lowered his eyes as he turned away from me, nodding to Emmett and Jasper. "Move him. Take him to the house and wait for me." He gave me one last look. " I'll check on Bella. That I can do for you." And he was gone.

******************

Emmett and Jasper argued amongst themselves. Emmett was surprisingly worked up. "I think she should come. Edward will be a complete nutcase without her and I don't want to live with that. I don't think any of you could handle it either if he started wearing black and all that eyeliner and shit."

Jasper laughed. "He's already emo on the inside, so the outside would just match."

Apparently, Emmett didn't think that was funny. "So what if it was Alice? Would you listen?" That shut Jasper right the freak up. Jasper's response was to grip the stretcher's handles harder and they shattered. I know my scream was heard this time as my body hit the ground and tore what few connections that had healed in my legs apart. _Just let me die. Please…._

"Edward, shit, I'm sorry!" Jasper cried. Emmett had the good sense to ease his end down slowly.

"Help me." I croaked. "Help me get to Bella. Please. Please…." And I grew silent.

Emmett was the only one to meet my eyes. He inhaled deeply, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "Edward, I promise you I will get you to Bella. You have to heal first or you'll be worthless to her and for her. Is that what you really want? To have her see you like this?" He spread his hands out to demonstrate my condition.

"No." I forced myself to be reasonable and choke down the new feelings of desperate want that kept surfacing. "No I don't. I need her to see me whole. Can one of you at least get to her somehow to let her know I'm alive? I never had time to explain anything." My croaking trailed to a whisper. "She tried to kill herself when she thought I was dead. Don't you think she will try again until she succeeds?"

Even Jasper saw my reasoning this time. "Ok, Edward. I'll help Emmett but the family will eventually have to know. We won't be able to hide it from Alice but she could be our biggest ally in this whole mess. Everyone knows she and Bella are friends. It would look odd if we were the ones going to see her." I knew Alice would help. She loved Bella almost as much as I did.

***************

It didn't take long for my legs to start the attachment process again. When they had a solid connection again we were able to make our way home. Jasper had fashioned a quick fix for the stretcher and even though our pace would have left a human in the dust, it was excruciatingly slow for me.

They carried me up the steps and into the study off the dining room. Carlisle, Rose, Alice, and Esme had quickly set up an infirmary of sorts. With each moment my body was repairing itself and by the time we reached the house, I had started to regain the feeling in my throat.

When they had me settled in the first thing Alice did was to bring me my IPOD. As she placed the speaker in one ear she leaned over and carefully whispered in my ear, "Of course I'll help, Edward. I love her too. We won't leave her. Not for long. I promise."

I gave her a grateful look and whispered "Thank you."

********************************

Carlisle returned from the hospital after inquiring on Bella's condition and his expression didn't make sense and he was blocking the crap out of me. He must have innately known that the part of my brain that holds my gift had fully repaired itself.

By this time I had fully regained my voice and was able to ask. "Bella. How is she, Carlisle? I want the truth." I

n a father-like gesture he gently placed his hand on my shoulder. "Edward, she coded. Four times." I felt the panic surge.

Carlisle's touch held me back as he continued. "They rushed her into surgery to repair whatever damage they could find. I will check on her while I make my arrangements to take an extended leave of absence." That's all I would get out of him for tonight. I knew Alice would try to see her. I resigned myself to wait for her report.

Alice announced she was going to see Bella against everyone's protests. "She's my best friend," she countered, "And I am not about to disappear on her without telling her." Apparently she had the same feelings as I did about going to Denali.

She was out the door before any further arguments could be made.

*************************

**~~Alice~~**

I ran to the hospital with only Bella on my mind. She was my best friend. How could I have let this happen? _I didn't see this._ I would worry about the particulars later. As I entered the lobby one of the nurses recognized me.

"She's upstairs, Alice, but she's still unconscious from surgery. Only immediate family is allowed."

"Is it that bad?" I whispered.

"She sustained heavy trauma. Alice, you know hospital policy. I'm not allowed to tell you anything. I'm sorry." I could see she truly was.

Fortune must have heard my desperate plea because as I turned to sneak upstairs to the recovery floor Charlie Swan walked around the corner. He looked so worn and haggard. I couldn't imagine what he must have been feeling after all Bella had been through from her first day arriving in Forks. I caught him looking at me from the corner of my eye. "Alice." He seemed relieved to see me.

"Hi, Charlie," I said shyly. "Please tell me how she is? No one can tell me anything. I'm so scared. My dad was on rounds and told me." So now I had a viable reason for being there.

Charlie sighed and said, "It's pretty bad, Alice; they took her to surgery to repair what they could find. There wasn't much time to assess her. I almost lost her…again…" and he started to cry. I swiftly made my way to him and embraced him before I realized what I'd done. He initially recoiled from my cold skin but then gripped onto me with all the desperation of a father assaulted with the possibility that his daughter would die.

"I am so sorry. Is there any way I can see her, Charlie? Please? If something is going to happen, I want my chance to say goodbye." Only I knew the double meaning which also doubled my sadness.

Charlie looked at the nurse. "She's Bella's best friend and Bella would want her there."

The nurse replied "Charlie you know the hosp-"

"I don't care WHAT the policy is!" He yelled. "My daughter would want her best friend to see her. _I_ want her best friend to see her!" He grabbed my hand. "Come on, Alice. It's time for you to see Bella." We walked to the elevator leaving a stunned nurse in our wake. I'd never known Charlie to yell. Ever.

We were both silent as the elevator groaned and began its journey up two floors. It stopped with a slight jolt and as the door opened I fought the urge to rip them from their tracks because they weren't fast enough. I took a deep breath to steady myself and stepped out into the critical care ward. I looked at Charlie. This needed to be his move.

"This way," he said quietly. We walked silently down a dimmed hallway and passed rooms that only echoed the sounds of machines. It was an accolade of ghosts.

Charlie stopped just short of a room with the curtains drawn. I gasped when I saw her. She looked, well, dead. Her chest barely rose or fell. Her eyes and cheeks were sunken in. Then she gasped and started to scream. She was screaming for Edward. She screamed for me.

I panicked and looked at Charlie for guidance. He heaved such a heavy sigh I thought he might pass out. "She's been like this for the last day."

I was startled as I felt the venom well in my eyes and I fiercely worked to blink it back. _That's never happened before. I need to tell Carlisle…_

Then I saw them. She was completely tied down to the bed. Again. I heard Charlie's voice from a far off tunnel. "-moving her to the psych floor. Alice, I don't know how much more of this I can take." His tears again began to roll down his face and this time he just let them fall.

"Can I see her alone, Charlie? Just for a few moments? I won't do anything to upset her. I just want to sit with her for a little while." I was pleading. I was good at pleading. The difference is that this time I wasn't pleading out of petty manipulation; I was pleading for the chance to do something for someone else.

He thought about it for a minute and nodded his head. "I know she'd tell me to 'get the hell out' so she could see you," he said. "I'll wait down by the nurses' station. I'll ask them to wait to move her but once she's been moved only I can see her. They won't make any exceptions." He turned and walked out of the room. I heard him speaking to a nurse firmly and their voices grew distant as they walked away.

I ran to Bella's bedside. "Oh, Bella," I said. "Bella, what happened? Where did you go?" I whispered. At the sound of my voice her body jerked and shuddered as if she were fighting an unseen enemy.

The spasm stopped and then she began to mumble. It was barely audible but I made out most of what she said. "You left me. Why did you leave me? Alice, you promised. Edward, why did you die? Why didn't you let me die? Do you all hate me that much for killing Edward? I didn't mean too..." and she screamed again. I had to leave the room. I got as far as the door and stopped, forcing myself to walk back to her bed.

Oh. My. God. My jaw fell open as I realized what she thought happened. She thought that the only people to truly love her had purposely attempted to destroy her for revenge. Of Edward's death. She drove herself into madness. By choice. _Bella, he's not dead! HE'S NOT FREAKING DEAD!!! _

I wanted to yell to the heavens but she would not hear me. I could not remember ever feeling this helpless. But there was hope. Always hope. I reached for her hand and gasped as she grabbed it and whispered, "Help me, Alice, help me," before she started her incoherent mumblings. I had to get Edward. Her very sanity depended on it.

**~~Edward~~**

I had to stay on that stupid table for three whole days. Alice updated me with Bella's condition daily. It was puzzling to me because she should have shown much quicker progress.

Alice came home noticeably upset. "How could I not see this?" She wailed. "Carlisle, why didn't you tell us?" She sounded accusatory.

"Carlisle? Tell me." I didn't ask. I demanded.

He sighed and simply stated, "They were able to repair all of her injuries but one." His voice sounded heavy with defeat. He mumbled to himself. "I should have seen this coming. I didn't realize how fragile she still was."

_What?_ "Tell me Carlisle" I could tell from both his continued block and his hesitation that he was leaving out something important.

"Edward, no one saw this coming. Her physical injuries are healing well for the most part but her mind was more fragile than anyone could have guessed. She's had so many prior traumas since arriving here it's not surprising given her past."

"Carlisle, tell him or I will _show_ him." Alice warned.

I was growing more frantic by the minute. He looked me in the eyes as he released the block and I gasped, almost falling to the floor. I saw Bella simultaneously through both of their thoughts. Bella was strapped to a bed and screaming. I watched his thoughts as she threw herself against the wall, the window, and scratched at herself, tearing the flesh on her arms and legs.

I clenched my eyes shut and tried to erase the images that continued to horrify me.

"Will she get better?" I asked through my fear.

"Edward, I don't think so. Her mind has completely broken from reality. I'm so sorry." He truly was. He was also practical. "Edward, we have waited to leave at your request, but it's time to leave. People are asking questions about you." My heart and logic battled for dominance. My nature again chose logic. "Alright, Carlisle. It's time but I'm coming back. I hope you are too." I turned away from him and limped up the stairs toward my room.

I was going to see Bella_. I won't leave without saying goodbye_. I still needed to tell her I loved her, whether she could hear me or not. _I'm coming, Bella. I will bring you back to me. _

"Edward, "Alice whispered. "You need to see her. Now."

I nodded my head and stood up, throwing my blanket down. "Meet me in ten minutes by the garage. We're running _and_ we're going to save her. Whatever it takes. I can't lose her, Alice. I can't lose her…"

Alice took my hand, reached up to kiss my chin and said, "You won't."

* * *

**End Notes:**

Whew. What a chapter. I said it was going to be a slow recovery. Read and review! DH has been accepted over at Twilighted. Feel free to start a thread to discuss how whacked this story is and how it makes no sense. I am sure to appear here and there. Just let me know you do it (if you do). I am also working on a collaborative fic with Kake called 'Of Squalor and Ashes'. It's edgy, gritty, and raw. VERY angsty. Very different than this cerebral mess. See you all next chapter-which is already started.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Sorry for the late update everyone! It wasn't done on purpose. You can blame the flu and mid terms this time around. We are winding down. I can't exactly say how many because I write on the fly. I have really enjoyed bringing this story to life for you and have appreciated every review.

I bought both the new Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace albums last night and my entire chapter playlist was replaced for the better.

**This chapter is brought to you by:**

Breaking Benjamin-Dear Agony, Breaking Benjamin-Anthem Of The Angels,  
Three Days Grace-World So Cold, Three Days Grace-Life Starts Now

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns All Saga material. I own the plot. Carry on.

The story continues…

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…_Days go on forever  
But I have not left your side  
We can chase the dark together  
If you go then so will I…_

_-Anthem of the Angels, Breaking Benjamin_

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**~~Edward~~**

It was quiet as Alice and I raced through the wispy shafts of light that wove their way through the dense canopy. Everything stilled as we flew by. I had grown callused to the fact that all creatures took refuge until we had passed by.

I was acutely aware of it now: the absence of life. I felt an unconscious urge to race even faster toward Bella, not knowing what I'd find but hoping to make sense of all this madness. _Madness._ It wasn't helping that the moment we left the house Alice's visions had become blurred. _Bella, I'm coming. Hold on…please wait for me… _Not knowing her condition was more frightening than anything I'd experienced.

Carlisle had persuaded Dr. Montoya to place Bella in the far end of the wing so that she would have as little external stimulation as possible. He was like Carlisle in many ways; a gentle soul who would always hold out the tiniest thread of hope for his patients.

The room was near a window. The bars would be no problem for Alice and me.

We reached the edge of the tree line and there was only around 200 yards separating us from the hospital, but it seemed like miles. Suddenly Alice froze and her face blanked, reassuring evidence that she was having a 'normal' vision.

She grabbed on to my shoulder in desperation. Whatever she was seeing was taxing her to her limits. That was_ not_ normal. Alice gasped. "Edward! We can't go through the window. _I can't see it._ We have to go through the hospital. We have to get to Bella." I didn't need her urgent tone to fuel my purpose.

I scanned the parking lot for humans and finding it empty knew the best way to go was through the back access door. The maintenance halls would be the safest route to take at this time of the afternoon. It would give us passage through the main part of the hospital but then we would have to use other methods.

Again I was grateful for the talents vampires possessed. We silently passed the nurses' station as we worked our way through the quiet hallways. It would have been easier had it been a larger hospital. It was both a blessing and a curse that most of the hospital staff knew my family.

I didn't believe in luck but I did vaguely consider its existence as we didn't encounter anyone once we hit the 3rd floor. The Psych Unit. It had never bothered me before that some of the staff secretly called it 'PU'. It was another example of human ignorance. I felt my anger rise at the thought of Bella being in a place with such a cruel nickname.

A lone nurse sat at the station, her head buried in charts. There were muffled groans, screams, and other assorted noises that were hallmark of a place such as this. I quickened my step as we silently slipped by. She didn't even look up. I breathed a sigh of relief and even allowed myself to feel some hope.

The hall grew quieter as we approached her door. It was only open a few inches, but we both met each other's eyes in panic as we heard the restless movement coming from her room.

"Edward." Alice quietly gasped. My fists clenched with recognition.

_Oh hell no. _

_Dog._

**~Bella~**

There comes a time when we have to make a choice. A pivotal choice that determines the direction of the rest of your life will take. Unlike my previous breakdowns this time I _did_ have a choice. I just didn't know which road to take. Sort of. I felt like I was missing something and I couldn't remember what but what I did remember was Edward.

I had grown indifferent watching myself from within. Complacent. Resigned. Would it be so bad to let myself go and just float here? I never felt the physical effects from my actions except occasional tiredness when my body collapsed from exhaustion. I'd lost track of time after two weeks and it really had just become a matter of mental existence for me now.

I thought about Edward constantly. When we finally connected all had become right for us in this world and I knew he'd felt it too. Our time was so unbelievably short. I imagined myself meeting Fate and Destiny as literal figures and having a serious throw down. At the same time I was so grateful for what little time we did have.

_Why, Edward? Why did you have to leave me? Why did everyone leave me?_

The ache was familiar but had lost some of its sting. I only hoped that as time passed it would continue to fade. I had to face several facts before making my decision and I had the oddest feeling that I didn't have much time.

I loved my parents. I loved Alice. But I loved Edward more and couldn't bear facing a world without him. The choice was slowly becoming obvious to me. If I chose to come back there would be a sense of relief for those around me. But the fear of another breakdown would linger in their minds and they would be watching me closely, even if it was unconscious. That I would not handle well. _Being pitied sucks._

I _did_ dream though. I think. I would 'wake up' in a panic only to see the familiar tunnel vision view of plain white hospital room walls. _How can I dream if I'm not asleep… or awake?_ It was the closest description of what happened each night. Or day. The need for such distinctions just didn't seem to matter anymore.

Last night was different than what I normally saw through 'Bella-vision' as I'd deemed it. It was more real. I woke to see a white wolf bathed in flames standing at the edge of my bed looking down at me with ancient eyes. They looked familiar, but when you've been on the brink of insanity so many times you can trust nothing.

It spoke no words but nuzzled its nose against my cheek softly. As it pulled away I thought I saw a single tear trail from one eye. Its head snapped up and looked at the door, nose wrinkling in distaste. The wolf's head turned to me as if to say goodbye and disappeared. _Yep, another hallucination. I'm getting good at them. At least they're entertaining._ I was becoming more detached. It would be time to go soon.

I vaguely heard footsteps stop outside my door along with whispered voices. _Camera pan left._ The door flew open at an incredible speed yet made no sound. The picture froze. _Oh God, please spare me this. _It's bad enough I think about him, but for me to start having hallucinations about him is unbearable agony.

"Oh, Bella." I heard his voice next to my ear. The desperation in his tone caused me to shiver and I couldn't help wondering if he'd felt it. I wanted to cry and I actually felt a lump rise in my throat. He couldn't be here. He was dead.

"Bella, my sweet and most beautiful, Bella. Where have you gone? What happened to you? We want to help you but don't know how. Please don't leave me."

_We?_

"Oh, Bella, I wanted to stay." I heard another familiar soft musical voice. _The voice of my angel. _My eyes snapped wide open and my breaths started coming in short gasps. _ALICE! EDWARD! -But how?_ I knew this was real. The shock was too much. I felt myself starting to go, but now I wanted to stay. I no longer had any idea how to fight.

**~Alice~**

The scent hit us at the same time. Edward growled and before I could stop him he'd grabbed the door and flung it open. The only thing that kept it from shattering or becoming embedded into the wall was that he'd managed to keep his hand on it.

"One of them was here, Alice." He snapped.

"I do have my own sense of smell, Edward. Stating the obvious is completely unnecessary." We found no intruder. Only a few white hairs on her bedspread which I brushed away.

I moved to Bella's side and whispered my regret softly in her ear. The only response was that she head tilted slightly toward me. I stood and looked down on her. At that moment I knew if I still had a beating heart that it would have slammed to the floor and shattered.

She looked so_ empty_. I remembered Carlisle's words. I'd hoped he'd been wrong but it was possible she was so far gone that she wouldn't be coming back. After all she'd gone through would she even want to come back? Her body would not hold out much longer without any will to live.

And we would be the ones responsible for destroying her.

I walked around the bed lost in my thoughts and stared. Edward was kneeling at her side speaking softly into her ear as well. It looked like he was praying for absolution. _I wouldn't mind a vision right now…Where are you, Bella?_

He jumped up and choked, "Alice…"

Then I heard Bella's gasping breaths and fading heartbeat. As I turned to face her I felt the familiar beginnings of a vision and I got one. Unlike most of them this one didn't make sense at first and then I knew. This was only something he could do. "Edward!" I hissed.

He stood there wearing an expression of agony as he watched her.

"Take her hand, Edward. I saw it. You are supposed to take her hand!" I allowed myself to feel a spark of hope, for whatever it was worth. I looked expectantly at Edward. He acted like he hadn't heard a word I'd said.

I quickly looked back at Bella. Her eyes were wide open and desperately searching. They met mine and they blazed with her silent plea for help. _She knows me. Oh god. She can see me… _"My god she can see me!" I whispered to myself. I know he heard me but he still stood there. A still life tribute to idiocy.

Ok, I was growing angrier by the minute. 'Mr. Guilt bearer of the world with a Romeo complex' better get do something because he was the key to all of this. "Edward, if you don't take her damn hand I will kill you myself!" I wasn't kidding.

His eyes were filled with fear as he looked at me. "What, Alice? Tell me! What am I supposed to do?!" He begged.

I wanted to slap my hand to my forehead for dramatic effect but obviously there was no time. I'd kill him later. "Take her hand, Edward. Just take her hand. That's all I saw and I suggest you do it quickly."

I stood back fervently whispering my own prayers.

**~Edward~**

I moved as quickly as I could, tenderly undoing the vicious straps that held my Bella captive. I felt my chest hitching and knew that if I were human I would have been sobbing. I cringed as I saw the open flesh that resulted from her body's constant struggle to escape them. I dropped the railing, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

I gently moved the arm that lay opposite from me across her chest in what I hoped was a comfortable position. I met her eyes and knew I was running out of time. I grasped her remaining arm, the upper with one hand while lifting her forearm with the other. When her elbow was resting on the mattress, I slid to my knees and leaned in as both of my hands slid up to her hers.

I felt a twinge of electricity growing as my hands surrounded hers… and nothing. _I'm too late! NO!_

I'd hoped that the world would tilt and be set right again as we touched_. "Hold her hand, Edward. Just hold her hand._" Alice's words echoed. I gingerly spread her fingers and linked them with mine.

I barely heard Alice's voice over Bella's scream. "Don't let go, Edward! Don't let go…." Her voice faded as Bella's scream shot through me.

And my world exploded.

**~Bella~**

I focused on Edward's voice. I saw everything around me falling away into blackness. Edward's voice was the link that was keeping me connected. I reached down to summon whatever strength I had left but it wasn't enough. I was conscious in a sense but felt detached from my body.

Alice started yelling at Edward and I saw him bending over me, freeing me of my prison but I couldn't move. I tried to force my body to move but it wasn't cooperating. He laid one arm across my chest while holding the other. The coolness of his skin as his hands surrounded my limp one was tactile proof that I could trust this. _Trust him_.

I felt an odd sensation building as our fingers linked and entwined together. As I screamed I heard Alice yell something to Edward about not letting go. I knew I had to hang on.

The last remnants of reality exploded as we were engulfed in flames.

**************************

I heard the sound of wind howling through the trees and saw a flash of light reach across the sky from behind my eyelids only to be followed by thunder. As I slowly allowed them to open I realized that the light outside was fading but I managed to get a quick view of my surroundings before it completely faded.

My senses were raw but I was awake and lucid, no longer held prisoner within myself. It appeared that I was in a cave of some sort. I smelled dampness and saw that the floor was covered with moss, spongy and soft. I had no idea what had happened. I remembered Edward taking my hand and thinking I had irretrievably gone insane. I remembered an explosion of light.

_Huh. Only I would wake up in a cold dark cave while the worst storm I've ever seen rages outside._

"Bella?" He whispered. I jumped feeling his solid form against me. Our hands were still entwined and he'd wrapped himself around me protectively. This was all very strange.

"Edward? Are you really here?" I asked in a throaty whisper. My voice sounded so foreign. He was really here. His hand gently squeezed mine. "How?" I asked meekly.

"I have no idea," he replied. "And I don't care. You didn't leave me." His voice was filled with relief. I felt the sadness creeping back in.

"But. You. Left. Me. Your family left me." I didn't know what else to say. The sting of his family's rejection still stung. His silence was a bit unnerving.

He eventually sighed and I relaxed against his still form. I felt his chest expand as he took a breath and began to speak. His voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear him. "I am so sorry, Bella. You never had a chance to learn anything about us-about me." He paused.

"I never meant things to happen this way. But know this: I would never leave you. I always planned to come for you. So did Alice. I will always find you wherever you are." I could feel the heat of his gaze and tried to sit up and face him but I was still too weak. His arms supported me as I lay back down.

"And as for my family, Carlisle checked on you regularly. I've never seen him feel so helpless. They knew you would be relatively safe with the humans, but I would not. They had to move me to a safe place so I could heal." He cringed. "Bella, I really mean it when I say that even though it may not make sense to anyone else I truly feel that we were meant to be together."

I had no reply. I was struggling to grasp it all.

I was finally able to sit up with his help and realized that I had an unfamiliar coat covering me up. It probably saved me from a severe case of hypothermia. Edward sat up with me and situated himself so that my back could rest against his chest. I hadn't noticed the storm's abatement.

I had a moment of déjà vu and had to shake my head to try and clear it. _The storm was like the one from my dreams. _But I wasn't standing on the edge of a great chasm. I was sitting in the mouth of a cave and Edward was not looking at me with hate. I still had something nagging me at the back of my mind.

His voice vibrated through my frame. "I don't understand it and I've given up trying to. All I know is that I love you, Bella. I love you and I can't live without you. I_ won't_ live without you." I felt his lips press against the back of my head.

All of my thoughts disappeared as I inhaled sharply. _What?_ I must have tensed up because he released me from his embrace and scooted away from me. "I'm sorry, Bella." He sounded so frustrated. "I don't know what to do."

"No, Edward, don't. Please don't leave." I_ must sound pathetic._ It would serve me right if he did leave. I felt his lips brush against the back of my neck and I shivered. After all I dragged him here. Wherever 'here' was.

* * *

**End Note:**

About freaking time, wouldn't you say? They are finally together and realize they aren't dreaming or having a vision. Bella's got a lot to wrap her head around. Edward is completely insecure for the first time since he was turned. Now he knows he can't and won't live without her. What do you thing he is going to do? What should he do?


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** I have edited and reposted this chapter because I found some things that were missing and some things that just made me cringe. It's only a difference of around 1,000 words but they make a big difference.

There is one more chapter and an epilogue. I hope things start to make sense as I bring things to their conclusion. As always, thanks to my beta struck_at_the_sky for her second set of eyes.

**This chapter is inspired by:** Three Days Grace-Lost In You, Breaking Benjamin-Without You, Nightwish-7 Days To The Wolves

**Disclaimer: **All the Saga related stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I am rather attached to my plot. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**~Bella~**

We sat in a comfortable sort of both silence and stillness. Edward was quiet but I couldn't really blame him. I wasn't exactly the budding conversationalist myself. I sighed and leaned forward to look out of the cave and was just able to see some stars peek through the dissipating clouds. It looked like the weather was clearing up.

Edward leaned with me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I reveled in the sensation of his icy breath against the warmth of the skin on my neck. He murmured _"I love you,"_ causing me to shiver from the sensation of his lips against my ear and instinctively I leaned even further into him. "I will _never_ get tired of saying that to you. Ever."

I felt both a sense of wonder and a sense of rightness in his declaration. I was beginning to see the possibility of a life with him. _But I will die one day, _I told myself,a fact that I could not ignore._ Would he make me like him if I asked?_

I blushed as I remembered that Edward was the face behind the man whose touch had ignited the sensuality in my dreams. He was the source of my growing want and need. If I let him he could make it all real. Bring to reality the ignited passion of my dreams. _I could definitely get used to the idea of having this part of him forever._ Forever had taken on a new meaning and it had given me a lot to consider.

I found it odd that I didn't react to the temperature of his skin like I had before. It had become a coolness that I craved. I relaxed further into his embrace ass we continued to watch the stars as they slowly made their journey across the horizon. I had to admit it was an odd feeling to lean against him. I shivered as I remembered the first of my dreams.

He must have interpreted my shiver as a reaction to the chill of his body and started to ease his hold on me. I gripped his arms as tightly as I could and held them there unable to bear for him to let me go. He relaxed and allowed me to sink back against him. I only felt the cold when we were apart.

"Edward?" I broke the silence. "What happens when we go home? Will we remember any of this?" I panicked at the thought of going back and remembering nothing. What if I remembered and he didn't?

I couldn't help the tears that spilled over and slowly trailed down my cheeks, his gentle hands wiping them away. I was terrified at the thought of losing him, losing _us,_ now that we'd finally found each other again. "Please don't leave me in _that place_…Please take me out of there…please take me…"

His hands moved from my face to gently stroke my arms in an attempt to soothe me. "My Bella," he whispered. "I will never leave you there. I will be yours forever. Alice will help me figure something out."

I felt something stirring deep within me, its warmth spreading to the outer edges of my body. I desperately wanted him to feel the longing the same way that I did. I reasoned that I was a mere child compared to his 100 plus years of experience. I figured the human emotions he once held would naturally diminish over time.

I knew that I would never stop hoping that I would be enough for him in spite of the perpetual doubt cloud. Things had been pretty freaking crappy for us up to this point. I was absolutely certain that we were supposed to be together. _I can't lose him again. _A sense of panic dropped on my heart and I tried to push it back down and keep it from overwhelming the comfort he was trying to give me.

I leaned my head towards his again as his lips brushed my cheek. My heart started to pound and I had started to breathe in short bursts. _His lips_… they reminded me of cool silk. I realized that the overpowering electricity wasn't there this time and I had to admit I kind of missed it. There was something in its place but I couldn't define it. It was kind of nice too, and warm.

I couldn't ignore the nagging thoughts that started going through my head and I chose my words carefully. "We need to go home, Edward. But we have to be together and I have no idea how to guarantee that it will happen." I pushed forward out of his arms and felt the familiar emptiness as I broke our embrace.

I scooted around so that I was facing him. I rested my hands on his knees and they began to slide up his thighs of their own accord. He gave me a nervous smile and placed his hands over mine and briefly held them there.

In one smooth movement he pulled away from me and pushed himself up. As he stood he reached his hands down to mine to help me up. My legs were cold and felt so weak. I had to admit my feelings were hurt but I took his hand and let him pull me up. _Smooth move, Bella. Way to try and seduce your vampire. _

The blood rushed to my toes with its stinging warmth as the circulation was restored. The pain was proof that this time we were not dreaming. We were really together in this place. And I was desperate to be with him.

It was understandable that I had started to question everything around me. I brushed off the moss that was clinging to me as best I could. "I need to see what's out there. Will you help me?"

He gently guided me, careful not to let me stumble as we stopped at the cave's opening. _What do you expect to find, Bella?_

There was no moon to illuminate the landscape but the stars did help enough to make out the basic shapes of what lay around us. What I could make out wasn't very encouraging. It looked like we were close to the edge of a low cliff that overlooked a small meadow. I had to squint but was able to make out a forest at the meadow's edge.

I was relieved to see that we weren't very high up. There was a rocky trail leading off to the right and a smaller dirt path that led to the left. It was really more of an animal trail than a path, but everything was relative anymore. I was able to stand on my own now and turned to face Edward. He pulled me to him in a careful embrace. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

I looked up and his face wore a thoughtful expression. "You can ask me anything. Anything, anytime." I answered and meant it. He gave a slight nod. "What was a wolf doing in your room?" _What? _

I shouldn't have been surprised but I was regardless. "I…thought… it was a dream." I couldn't help feeling that somehow I'd failed him. I whispered, "How did you know?"

I closed my eyes as he stroked the side of my face. The craving for his touch was becoming stronger. "They have a particularly distasteful scent. Of course, we smell just as repulsive to them." He explained. "Alice tried to hide it from me but she found a few white hairs on the edge of your bed to accompany that lovely smell." He wrinkled his nose. "Did you recognize who it was?" My eyes widened as I realized I _did_ know.

The eyes once belonged to Jacob Black. "Edward…I think …it was Jacob."

He growled and I held a finger up to silence him while I concentrated on what I could remember. "I think he came to say …goodbye…I don't know…" I clenched my eyes tighter trying to remember more details but pulled a blank. And of course at that exact moment all of my dreams, nightmares, and visions all decided to come and pay me a visit. _Oh god…no. I won't let them take me! Not again. Not ever. _

I was bombarded with a physical presence as the waves engulfed me. _I'm not running this time_. As they cascaded through my memory I felt every emotion that was attached to them. I grabbed Edward's arms to keep from falling.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I answered between gasps as I started to double over. "I'm remembering. Yours. Mine. Everything." I refused to fall. I heard the panic in his voice as my vision shifted. "Don't leave me, Bella. Please don't leave me!"

I forced myself to watch it all. The shadows, the meadow, his attack and the darkness. The surreal and the horrifying. The sensual and the brutal. The ones that made my heart beat faster and the ones that caused me to blush. Fire and ice. It felt like something was trying to pull me under and carry me away. But this time I had an anchor. This time I had Edward and I wasn't about to let go. _I will never let go again._

I had no idea how much time had passed. It could have been hours. I had only been aware of the exquisite torture I was subjected to. As the last of the scenes faded I found myself clutching the sides of his shirt so tightly that my fingers were cramped. I felt the sweat running down my face. My breath was catching and I was trembling.

I was amazed that he'd stood completely still, holding me up and helping me fight the only way he was capable of at the moment. With his touch.

I felt the tears erupt and my soul empty the bitter darkness that had haunted me for so long. "I'm still here. I remember everything. I remember fire and ice. I remember you," I sobbed. I unclenched my aching fingers and tried to flex them without success. "Ow."

My back felt like it was on fire from being in such an unnatural position for so long. Before I knew it he scooped my up into his arms and cradled me to him. The sun was just rising and I recognized the shimmer on his skin as he turned to take me back into the cave. "What are you doing? We need to try and find-"

He cut me off. "You need to rest, Bella. You are exhausted and I don't need you falling over a cliff even though I'd get to you first." He smirked.

I didn't put up a fight as he carefully laid me back down on the moss. He joined me and I snuggled closer to him, wanting to weld my body to his in an unbreakable bond. Somehow in all of this his body had become familiar and comforting. I yawned. He was right; I was really tired and couldn't keep my eyes open. "Edward?" I yawned again. "I love you too," I whispered before falling into the first peaceful sleep I'd had in a long time.

* * *

**~Edward~**

Watching Bella as she relived everything was excruciating. I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do but hold her. She was gripping me with all of her strength and I wasn't about to let her go. I would be there for her in the only way I could. I only hoped she would come through it intact.

I couldn't begin to describe how I felt as she started to come out of it. I didn't want to take the chance I'd been given and waste anymore time. I told her I loved her and was nearly overcome when she told me that she indeed loved me too.

I smiled down on her as she sank into sleep. I waited until her breath slowed into the easy pace of the dreaming. I allowed my eyes to take in her form. She was so beautiful it was almost painful.

She had awakened emotions in me I thought long dead. I only hoped that I would be able to express how deeply my feelings ran. Despite our bizarre circumstances I found myself permanently altered.

I couldn't hold back a smile as I leaned over and whispered, "I need to hunt. I'll be back soon." I silently left the cave and began my descent into the valley. As much as I hated many things in my vampire nature, I was grateful for my speed. What would have taken a human at least an hour to walk only took me minutes.

As I entered the meadow I closed my eyes and let my senses reach out. I could hear the muted heartbeats of a myriad of animals. I focused on the strongest of them and smiled to myself.

I let myself go and in stealth ran through the forest seeking my prey. _Mountain lion. _As I followed the memory of my teeth sinking into Bella's neck flashed across my mind. It dropped me to my knees and I heard a loud crack as I rolled into a tree. _No!_ I shook my head as I watched the tree crash to the ground.

The thirst for her blood momentarily warred with the revulsion I felt toward myself. I lay still until my trembling stopped. _Focus. Hunt. Bella is safe._ When I was sure I was back in control I stood and started the process over again picking up the scent of deer. I was disappointed at the loss of the mountain lion but Bella's safety far outweighed any needs I had.

The deer hadn't known what hit them until I had dropped four of them as fast as I could. It was probably more than I needed but I wanted to make sure I was as sated as possible for Bella's sake. I wanted to be there if she woke up to reassure her that this was real and that she wasn't alone. I didn't want to be separated from her more than was necessary.

I was entranced by the ethereal beauty of the landscape and began a leisurely pace back toward the meadow. I thought about the unbelievable events that had brought us here and I desperately hoped we could find our way again when we went back. I had a strong feeling that we would not be here for any real length of time.

I looked for anything that would be edible for Bella as I walked. I frowned as I considered the limited choices she had. She would need something to eat and drink and she would need it soon. I'd have to come up with something.

I'd let my mind drift from my surroundings and allowed myself to get lost in thoughts of my Bella and the scents and sounds of the purity of this place. I was jolted back to the present as I heard the first of the howl echo through the woods. It was answered with several howls from various points in the forest. _Wolves._

The venom started to flow. I slowly and cautiously made my way to the edge of the trees. I looked out across the meadow searching for any movement. I looked toward the tree line of the forest.

I was surprised at the size of the pack. I counted twenty of them and couldn't remember ever hearing of one that size before. They reminded me of the Quileute shape shifters in many ways but their eyes held feral expressions with no intelligence outside of what nature gave them.

They were heading toward the trail that led to the cave. That led to Bella. _Bella!_ I began to run toward them in the hopes that they would catch my scent and scatter. I knew that they would be no problem for me. My fear was that they would get to her first. They did not scatter. They ran faster. They had caught her scent and were bent on hunting her.

As I raced across the meadow I couldn't help but be impressed by their speed. The lead wolf was just turning to make the ascent up the trail. I felt an instant of panic followed by an intense rage I'd never felt before. I was usually able to keep my emotions well under control. I surmised that my rage was a result from the constant barrage of intense emotion I'd been subjected to.

As I came within range I leaned forward and grabbed the hind leg of the wolf trailing the pack. It snarled in anger and then yelped in pain and surprise as I yanked it with all of my strength. I felt blood splatter over me as its leg detached and the body flew over and behind me. My fury grew and I knew that I would destroy them all.

I worked my way forward and left a path of carnage behind me as I brutally threw them up aside with such force as to insure both dismemberment and death. They would no longer be capable of hurting Bella.

The battle continued was well up the trail and I was afraid that Bella would hear the chaos. It was going to be difficult enough to explain to her what had happened when she saw me covered in blood. Explaining the carnage was going to be a completely different matter. _Will she hate what I am when she sees what I am? Will she be terrified of me? _

I was afraid that she would be repulsed by me and that all of what we had fought for would be undone. I was afraid she would leave me and I knew I wouldn't blame her. _But I will never leave her. _I would always watch over her and when she died I wouldn't be able to continue to live without her. Not now.

The rage that was driving me so strongly was somewhat familiar. The need to protect Bella was just as fierce but felt a bit strange. I'd never felt this way about protecting anyone, not even my family. Of course knowing that my family were vampires and were not subject to human frailties surely had something to do with it. I think. _Mine._

My efforts had significantly reduced the pack. They had finally started to slow down and appeared to be tiring. There were only six wolves remaining and I never slowed my pace while I continued to tear through them. _Only two left._ Knowing I'd been successful I felt my anger start to recede. I realized that something was off and when I realized what it was things changed very quickly.

The closest one to me slid on his feet and turned to attack me. His attempts were futile and as he dove to attack my hand I flung him over the edge of the cliff. I knew then as he howled in desperation and terror that it Bella would have heard it, asleep or not.

He was bigger than the others and there was something unnatural about this one. I sensed a real danger as I reached him. I desperately launched myself at him and grabbed his left hind leg. He tried to spin upward and our eyes met. _Shape shifter._ He wasn't like the Quileute shape shifters at all. I had my worst fears confirmed when I took a closer look at his eyes. The rage was there, but more dangerous was the insanity that accompanied it. This one would be extremely dangerous. I would have to use everything in my arsenal to kill this one. He would be completely unpredictable in addition to the fact I was almost positive he couldn't be killed with a simple toss over the edge. _How did I miss it?_

I could clearly see the cave's entrance as I focused on my final target. I thought I saw Bella in the shadows but didn't allow my eyes to linger. Any distraction or misstep on my part could be a fatal mistake.

His eyes filled with fury and he let out a spine chilling howl. I heard Bella scream my name from the edge of the cave. My other hand went for his front leg and I felt a sense of excitement as I closed my eyes and succumbed to instinct and the ancient enmity that existed between our species.

As the ringing in my ears quieted I realized it was silent. I opened my eyes and although I didn't need it, took a deep breath to steady myself. I was still trembling from the excitement of the kill and stood to survey just how much damage I'd done.

I looked to the cave entrance and met Bella's eyes. They were wide with horror.

The trail I'd left behind was brutal. I felt something run down the side of my face. I raised my hand and wiped my cheek. I gasped as I looked at my palm then down the front of my body. I wasn't only covered in blood. I was drenched in it.

**End Note:**

All wolves have made their final appearances in this story. Bella is finally feeling something for Edward as she continues to paste everything together and horrified by some things she can't deny. Edward is a brutal creature in reality and that side of him needed to show. But he loves Bella and will do whatever it takes to protect her. His logic tends to waver in that department. And yes, Bella saw. She's up next chapter. How will she react?


	20. Chapter 20

**This Chapter is brought to you by:**

All by Three Days Grace-Last To Know, Without You, and No More

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns the Saga and all that goes with it.

* * *

_~Previously~_

_The trail I'd left behind was brutal. I felt something run down the side of my face. I raised my hand and wiped my cheek. I gasped as I looked at my palm then down the front of my body. I wasn't only covered in blood. I was drenched in it._

_I looked to the cave entrance and met Bella's eyes. They were wide with horror. _

* * *

**~Bella~**

I was dreaming. Dreaming of our assured future together. I knew I wanted him forever but forever was relative. The only way that I would truly be able to fulfill that would be for him to change me. It made sense but it was so _final_. There would be no going back ever and that gave me the slightest hesitation.

I remembered a conversation I'd had with Edward that horrific day in the forest. He'd told me he was a vampire and after the initial shock and acceptance of it, I had only been able to ask him two questions before my world completely fell apart.

The first had been about living forever. I asked him if it was true. He told me that the oldest vampires he'd heard of were considered 'vampire royalty' and were well over three thousand years old. He'd never met them but his 'father' Carlisle had spent considerable time with them at one point.

The second question was from pure curiosity. "How much do you remember?" I'd asked him. "Do you remember being human? How can you possibly remember everything?"

He remembered only the most traumatic incidents from his human life but remembered every single moment from the time of his being bitten. He would never be able to forget anything since his change. I had a hard time accepting that. He also added that it was nearly impossible for a vampire to die.

My dream shifted scenes and I found myself sitting beside a lake at night under a clear and warm sky. I was alone but completely at peace. A lone wolf howled in the distance and I thought it sounded hauntingly beautiful. I stood and started to walk along the waterline, allowing my toes to feel the cool water as I approached the forest path that lay ahead of me.

I was startled as a fierce howl thundered from the forest close to me and I froze. Suddenly Edward was there, his back facing me, crouched into a defensive position. He growled and yelled to me, "Bella, run!"

I turned to race to a stone cabin that sat close to the lake's edge and was tripped by my own feet. As I fell I realized that I was going to land face first onto a rock that was embedded in the terrain. I covered my face with my hands just as I landed on the rocks and moss._ Weird. I can actually smell the moss. _I saw that the sun had risen and it was the cool light of early morning.

I heard a growl that I was able to identify as Edward's mixed in with several snarls of what could only be wolves. _But I'm awake. _My eyes flew open and I sat up with a rush of adrenaline and stumbled to the front of the cave. I was still a bit disoriented and it took me a moment to register what was before me.

I couldn't help recoiling from the scent of so much death. I was filled with terror as I surveyed the damage gasping as I saw the blood and gore that littered the trail. There was so much of it.

Then I saw Edward. He was covered in so much blood that I could see it dripping off of him from where I stood, marking him as the source of all the devastating carnage.

He was trembling and had a frenzied look on his face that frightened me. Then a reality check hit me hard. If I changed, this is what I would become. Brutal. Savage. _Dangerous._ Wild, beyond the control of people or circumstances.

I shut my eyes to clear the scene that was before me but it still remained_. "I remember every single moment from the time I was first bitten."_ His voice echoed through my mind. I couldn't bear the scene before me any longer. I did the only thing I could. I turned away from him and started to run down the path opposite him. I ran as fast as I could without falling. _But he saved me._ My feet refused to stop.

The memory of Edward drenched in blood clung to me tightly and threatened to throw me back into unreality. I was already here and refused to go further into the darkness.

I heard him calling me. "Bella, wait! Please." I kept running, knowing he would catch me in seconds if he really wanted to. He kept behind me but it was obvious he wanted me to stop on my own. _Not gonna happen._ The last thing I heard him say as I hit the bottom of the trail was his resignation. "Now you know what I am."

*********************

My chest ached. It felt like I had cried the tears of a thousand lifetimes, leaving me empty. I felt that what I did have left was without value, meaning, or purpose. I had viewed Edward as my salvation while leaving myself out of the equation.

I watched the sun begin to fall toward the horizon. I had spent most of the afternoon curled up into a ball by a small stream I'd found. It took a great deal of energy just to push myself up and rest on my elbows. I inhaled the scent of the warm grass and managed to sit without dizziness.

I stood and walked to the edge of the stream. I was so weak it was a relief to sink back down to the ground. I leaned over and splashed water on my face hoping that it would reduce the puffiness that had resulted from this latest emotional storm.

My mind worked at a frantic pace trying to sort things out. I was not quite ready to return to him yet, having spent the day mourning many things. I was mourning that my forever wasn't going to be like I'd hoped, but it would have to suffice. I knew that I absolutely did not want to carry for all eternity these horrible memories that I'd collected over the last year.

I was torn within myself because that would mean only the remainder of my lifetime with Edward. I'd told him I wanted him forever and now I was going to take it back or at the very least change the definition. I was afraid of hurting him and afraid of his rejection. I wanted to look forward to a time that I would no longer be haunted by all of this. I reasoned that if he really did love me he would understand. I didn't want to be changed and regret it. It would end up in a resentful disaster that would only add to my eternal agony.

I tilted my face up and reveled in the warmth of the sun as it dried my skin, finding within myself the resolve I needed to endure the task at hand. Pulling on my last vestiges of strength, I was ready. It was time to go back to Edward and begin the rest of my life. I decided that it didn't matter if we ever went back home or stayed here. My life was finite either way and I planned to make the most of it. There was no room for wasting it.

I stood up with a newly discovered confidence that I was indeed making the right decision. The time I would share with Edward would be all the more precious and treasured. I brushed off the guilt that reminded me I would eventually abandon him in death. Edward wasn't naive. Either he would stay or he wouldn't. I wouldn't consider the alternative unless it became absolute reality.

I had only walked a short distance when I saw him, taking my breath away in his perfection. He could have been lying there for a thousand years and it wouldn't have changed his beauty one bit. He was lying under a small tree with his eyes closed looking so peaceful and _human_. His shirt and jeans were lying next to him drying in the sun. He had taken advantage of the water as well. His skin reflected the light, giving him the appearance of an angel. _He is my angel. _

I was angry knowing that he'd followed me but it was quickly replaced with the realization that he was watching over me. I had to admit that with my chaotic track record of unreality I could not fault him.

I knew he heard me coming but he didn't give any outward sign. I got about 10 feet from him and he opened his eyes. He didn't look at me but at the sky and I knew from his expression that he was doing his own sorting.

I closed the distance between us and sat down next to him. Our eyes met and his were filled with such sadness. I laid down angling toward him, offering my silent comfort in the form of just being near him, letting him come to me if and when he was ready. After awhile of simply lying next to one another, he finally spoke.

"Bella, I will try to get us home somehow. It would be arrogant of me to assume that things will be alright with us now. You have seen the monster I am and I won't blame you if you leave." His voice trailed off in resignation. I felt the smallest tear in my heart when I heard the word 'leave' fall from his lips_. Leave him? Never. _Unless he didn't want me.

"Do you still want me?" I asked him. I had to know.

He looked at me with genuine surprise and replied, "Bella, my feelings for you will never change. There is no way I could not want you."

My heart soared with those words. I reached my hand over to palm his cheek and met his eyes. "I love you, Edward," I whispered. "I am still yours. I will always be yours." The infinite sadness in his eyes was quickly replaced with joy at my words and a spark ignited within me.

I lowered my lips to his and was jolted by the shock as they connected. "It's back." He mumbled against my lips.

"I don't know about you but I missed it." I mumbled back against his. It was like a weak and faulty connection had been repaired. I felt whole. The fear and trepidation I'd felt were gone. The fire spread within me. _Mine._

He rolled over to face me and kissed me with more urgency this time. I knew I would deny him nothing. _Our forever starts now._ I returned the kiss with equal passion, our hands moving over each other hurried and uncertain.

"I love you as well, my Bella." Streaks of desire shot through me as he murmured those words into my ear. His lips made a trail along my jaw line and down my neck, continuing down my collar bone and stopping at my throat.

He growled softly as his hands followed the trail his lips had left. I tried to pull him closer to me. He rolled and pulled me so that I was lying on top of him. I moaned as the fire within me exploded feeling the smoothness of his skin beneath me.

His hands moved gently and slowly lifted the edges of the tattered gown I still wore- _I remember this_- And gave myself over to him.

_Aching, Burning, Agony..._

_Bodies-Intertwined and writhing_

_Voices-Whispered names…incoherent moans…_

_Edward's velvet voice moaning, "Bella… My Bella."_

…_barely audible…._

_No longer in vague shadows... _

_Our hands were moving…exploring intimately…moving closer…hands reaching…caressing…_

_Breathing- Rapid and shallow, in sync…. with each other…_

_Heart-Thick blood pounding…_

_Electricity-Binding me to him….Blood rushing through my veins….his teeth grazing my throat…._

_Fire-Spreading flames deliciously engulfing my body- Touch-Oh God his touch….taming me-_

_Ice-Frozen lips blazing a trail over my collarbones...over my stomach….down…. _

_The exquisite fire rages….tying me to him forever…_

_Faceless -Flashes of bronze, flashes of topaz… obscured from my view. _

_Innocence. _

_Beauty. _

_Fragile. _

_Eternity. _

_Monster. _

_Killer. _

_Danger._

So many things and I loved him completely.

"Move with me," I whispered. He pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"Bella... We've been here before." He said it with a sense of wonder. I was too caught up in what I was feeling to reply and ran my tongue along the crease of his neck, eliciting a throaty moan.

I grazed my nails across his chest. I leaned in again and repeated the path from his neck to the base of his throat. He pushed harder against me and I flashed with desire. He moved his hands up to my shoulders and pulled me down beside him.

He was my ice. I was his fire. I wanted more. "Edward, I want you to touch me. Please, I need you to touch me."

Our hands progressed lower and met at the edge of my underwear. He stopped for a moment, questioning with his eyes and I nodded my response. He growled as our hands crossed the barrier that were unbroken for both of us. "Bella, I need you…" I tried really hard to respond but could barely remember my own name.

I pulled him over me and wrapped my legs around his hips. My response couldn't have been any clearer. I will never forget the expression of love and complete adoration he wore as he entered me. Like two pieces made to work together, it was effortless and beautiful, utterly _right._ It wasn't long until the ardor between us reached its peak, finding our release in synchronicity.

With sweet oblivion coursing through my blood, the world began to shift and I was being pulled away. Our eyes locked in wonder, in awe, as everything surrounding us began to morph and change.

* * *

The world around us began to settle and I started to feel Edward's grasp on me again. I refused to look away from my golden anchors until everything stopped moving. I can't remember the exact order of events.

Only when I heard another voice did I look away. "Bella? Edward?" _Alice_.

"Hi, Alice." The voice didn't sound like mine at all. It sounded weak and hollow. I was so tired. I turned my head toward my future. His eyes were warm and tender.

For once Alice didn't have much to say. I think she was overwhelmed at the change between Edward and me. "What happened?" was all she managed.

"I really don't have a clue, Alice. And I honestly don't give a shit." Her eyes filled with a cautious laughter. "But I think it's finally over."

Edward shook his head. "Bella, it's not over. It's finally begun." I was awake and would never have to fear the dark again.

My recovery was not miraculous and progressed slowly. Edward still wanted to steal me away from the hospital and work his own special magic. I had several injuries to recover from and that took time.

I would like to say that we figured out what had happened but there were no plausible answers. Carlisle even spoke with the leading researchers involved with the 'holographic principle'. Something about 'black hole' and quantum physics. It was way over my head.

I mused over all that had happened to us in the last year. All of the terror and pain had been erased by the barriers that had been removed as we made love to each other in that last of magical places.

Charlie finally met Edward, and he wasn't exactly happy. He was more protective than ever and at one point tried to have all visitors restricted unless they had his approval. I fought him, using the excuse that I was over eighteen and an adult capable of deciding who could and could not visit me. He resigned himself to hate Edward but after witnessing his obvious devotion to me lightened up a bit.

And Edward _was_ devoted. He took me anywhere I needed to go and if I needed something he got it for me. It kind of drove me nuts. There was a nagging issue that had started off small but was going to need addressing soon.

My mortality.

Edward and I had danced around the subject but had never really discussed it with any finality or depth. Edward's family was under the assumption that I would absolutely be changed. I'd never led them to believe otherwise and I had changed my mind before I'd ever asked him for his forever.

That time came when I least expected it.

Charlie had started complaining about being tired and I teased him that he shouldn't work so hard. About 3 weeks later he collapsed at his desk at the station from a heart attack. He never made it out of the hospital. Edward and his family were there for me. The unspoken question of my future with Edward was becoming a focus for everyone.

I knew his family was going to move soon because they were not aging and it was going to inevitably become noticeable. Edward and I spent a lot of time in a local park where there was a fairly good sized pond we often sat by. I finally brought it up.

It was unusually quiet and still as we sat in our favorite spot. "Edward, we have to get this mortality thing out of the way."

He nodded. "I will take you to Denali before you are changed. It will make it easier story-wise and the whole family will help you to-" He stopped when he saw my expression. "Bella what is it?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them again and faced him, wanting to be completely honest. "I don't want to be changed."

He looked crestfallen. "I understand." But it was obvious he didn't and I could see the old insecure Emo-Edward surfacing.

I needed to get it all out so he would understand. "I don't want to remember my nightmares forever. I don't want to be in constant war with myself. I don't want to live surrounded by death for eternity."

I looked down at the ground. It was my turn to offer him his out. "I will understand if you want to go away. I will get old and I will die. You don't have to stay and watch. I'm not sure I want that anyway."

His eyes flashed. It wasn't going the way I had imagined. _He's pissed._ _Fine. Go away then. _My worst fears crashed over me. I said the only thing that was left. "I'm sorry."

He looked at me like a man who had lost the world. The sadness in his eyes looked like it was ready to spill over and I wasn't prepared for that kind of deluge. But it never came. He stood up looked down at me and said the two words I'd feared ever since I'd met him.

"Goodbye Bella." And he was gone.

I stood in a stunned silence. I knew I should have told him the moment I decided, but each time the nagging thought rose up I shoved it down for later discussion. I set myself up for this.

The Cullens had relocated to Alaska and I figured that's where Edward went. I stayed in my cocoon and lived with him in my dreams only to wake in emptiness. What had I done? Part of me desperately wanted to find him but warred with the decision I knew to be the right one for me.

I functioned well enough. I knew the world would never shine as bright but I couldn't stop living. My happy ever after crashed and burned like a meteor entering the atmosphere. I was wiser now and knew that I would walk alone until I crossed over into whatever awaited me at the end of my life.

I hesitated my move for a couple of months. I was secretly hoping for a return that never came. I needed a change. I wanted to go to college and get a degree in English. I wanted to travel. I wanted so many things and was going to do my best to see them happen.

I had just packed the last of my belongings into my new-to-me truck. My old dependable rust bucket had finally wheezed its last breath and I replaced it with a decent used one. I didn't need anything fancy, just reliable.

I had rented a room in Seattle near the university. It was a temporary situation because I preferred to keep my own company besides the fact that I was taking an extremely heavy course load to keep my mind from wandering to far from my current comfort zone.

I needed to make three stops on my way out of town. I stopped at the cemetery first. I had to say goodbye to my dad. I picked a few weeds that had started to sprout and chuckled at the gold plated trout that was embedded in the stone. "I'll see you soon, Dad."

The second stop was the park. I needed to say goodbye to our place. After Edward left I never went back. He'd only been gone a few months but it was too painful for me to even consider. I sat in my truck unable to move. There was a young couple lying together wrapped in each other's arms. _That used to be me. _

I waited for a few minutes and was relieved that they got up and left. I had to have my closure. I walked to our spot and laid down, finally giving myself permission to feel. I imagined him mysteriously arriving and making my world right. Then I opened my eyes facing the same world I'd arrived here in. Why couldn't one of the visions come and take me now?

I had the hardest and final task ahead of me. I had to go to his house and say goodbye.

It took me several tries to find the turn off that lead to his house. It had been overgrown with the creeping flora and fauna that didn't take to intrusion very well. The house was empty and looked like it had been for years. I forced myself out of the truck and walked over to the porch steps and sat down. I buried my head in my hands and started to cry. I released everything I'd held in for so long.

"Edward , I miss you. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed me to be. I will do my best to succeed at whatever I do. But know this: you _cannot _and _will not_ ever be replaced." My tears dissolved into silence and I listened to the wind that had started to blow through the trees.

I couldn't stay here forever. I was so hesitant to make this final break. "Goodbye, Edward. I hope you found your happy ending." I stood and walked to my truck. I looked over my shoulder one last time. I took a deep breath and reached to open the door.

Time stopped as I felt icy hands on my shoulders and a voice whisper into my ear.

"Bella. Please. Don't. Go."

Edward had come back.

**End Note:**

~Epilogue next~

The holographic principle is a real field of study loosely related to black hole and quantum physics.


	21. Epilogue

**A/N:** I would like to thank you for reading my first fan fiction story. I know it was a very unique and often strange story that made no sense at times. The underlying theme I wanted to bring to life is that when you are meant to be with someone Destiny and Fate will move heaven and earth to get you together in spite of yourselves. Especially if you are moving too slow for their comfort.

Thanks to my beta struck_at_the_sky who encouraged me to publish online and held my hand through write fail, dead ends, and horrific attacks of punctuation fail.

_Kake: How long do you think your story will be? Me: Only 10 chapters. I'm not going to drag this one out_

I dedicate this story to my 17 year old daughter Lynn who inspired me to write this story and introduced me to the world of the Twilight Saga. I love you baby.

This final installment is brought to you by Bad English-Forget Me Not, Queensryche-Silent Lucidity

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight Saga stuff still belongs to Stephenie Meyer. The plot is mine even though it has often been the bane of my existence.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Epilogue~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

~Edward~

Somehow I knew this was going to be the day. I'd been trying to prepare myself for it for a long time, but no matter how hard I tried it never got any easier. She had been quiet last night, only muttering a few words as she slept restlessly. I think she knew it had been coming too but refused to talk about it no matter how many times I brought it up.

It had become extremely difficult to move about 10 years ago. We both wanted to find a final quiet place so that we would be able to enjoy the rest of the time we had together. With Carlisle's help I found a large and very remote piece of land with our very own meadow.

I designed our house for every need she would ever have. We had solar everything and a couple of no fault backup generators just in case, as the winters were heavy here. Bella insisted that she would no longer hide. She wanted us to live the way we were destined to. I had to chuckle to myself. Her stubborn streak had not diminished over time. The joy she expressed when my family and I surprised her with the house made any difficulties we'd suffered wash away. We were finally _home_.

I let my mind wander over our life together. It was understood that we would have to move every few years so that people didn't notice my lack of aging. We knew that we would not be able to play the happy couple forever. That time came sooner than I'd realized or wanted.

When it would no longer be plausible to present ourselves as a couple in public I realized just how precious our time in this life was. I was long practiced in creating an illusion for the world to see, but Bella grew frustrated with it often. She would guilt herself over the smallest of slips or details skipped over and each time I would reassure her.

I cringed every time she made 'cougar' jokes. She commented that we had the perfect Halloween costumes built in and she would be my Mrs. Robinson. I was completely horrified the first time she wiggled her eyebrows and croaked out, "Would you like a piece of candy, little boy?" Then she attempted to chase me down the hall with her cane flying._ Ah, my Bella._ On my birthdays she would call me a 'lecherous old man' under her breath. My standard retort was that at least I was _her _lecherous old man….

I never attempted practical jokes of any kind after she sent Emmett after me the one time I tried to play a joke on her by hiding her teeth. Every year she made sure to include a box of Sea Bond denture adhesive among our anniversary gifts. It had turned out that Bella had a more cunning mind than many of the vampires I knew.

She went to Carlisle for medical issues that commonly plagued humans as they aged. I never once took for granted that her health remained excellent. Alice had shared her secret with me shortly after her final departure from the hospital. I was convinced Alice's venom, although only one or two drops had made a difference in providing the long lasting health Bella enjoyed.

At first I became a 'younger man' for her. Emmett loved to tease me about that quite often and it was apparent that he was nearly as devoted and protective of her as I was. Then I became the 'helpful nephew' and wasn't sure how to play that role convincingly. Surprisingly Rosalie stepped up and helped me there, providing me with examples from the limited memories she retained of her own nephews.

When the time came that I was going to have to present myself as the devoted 'favorite grandson' Bella started having real difficulties with our charade. I knew she would be unable to suffer anymore role playing. She dreamed more often of our meadow and music and I wanted to give them all to her. I would give her anything.

Before our last move I offered to change her one last time. She narrowed her eyes at me and quipped, "Edward, I do _NOT_ want to be the eternal poster child for Metamucil. I've come this far so why the hell would I want to change now?" That was her way of saying enough and I never asked her again. Part of me was glad she wanted to stay human. Another part of me grieved what was sure to come. Our time was growing short.

Our bedroom window greeted the sun each morning. I loved watching the reflection of my skin as it danced across her cheek. She had never looked so beautiful. The light glinted off her silver hair, creating a brilliant glow as if she were angel with hair that resembled silken threads spun from glass.

Her only request was that no mirrors be placed openly in the house. She hated that her skin was thin and wrinkled and dotted with the freckles of age. I still think she doubted me when I told her she grew more beautiful to me each day. It was true. Her soul was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My heart would never belong to another.

One of Bella's favorite features on our property was the natural meadow that included a pond. We spent many evenings just lying in each other's arms watching the day's end. She always said that twilight was the moment of magic for us because we'd spent so many pivotal moments 'between'. The best visions we'd shared had originated in a meadow and I knew she treasured those memories. That was where our story really began.

I was brought out of my musings by the change in her breathing. It had become increasingly uneven yet she remained still and peaceful. Her eyes opened and she smiled at me. "Soon," she said.

"Not yet," I pleaded. "Stay with me just a little longer. _Please,_" I whispered in desperation.

She raised a wrinkled hand to my cheek. "It will be ok, Edward. I promise." I sighed and gently leaned into her hand.

She didn't eat much when I brought her breakfast and refused lunch altogether. She slept again and started talking in her sleep more than she had in years. She talked to her dad a lot. "I'm coming, Dad, really. I'll be there soon. Don't worry."

I tried to call Carlisle for advice and only reached his voicemail. He called me back the second he got the message hearing the panic and helplessness in my voice. "I don't know what to do, Carlisle. I'm losing her. It's too soon."

I heard the compassion in his voice. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I know you didn't expect it to be so hard. It's her time. Love her."

"Dad," I choked out. "I can't be without her."

"I'm so sorry, son. Do you want us to come down?" he asked. "You don't have to do this alone."

I knew that Bella wouldn't want everyone fussing over her. "No. Bella wouldn't want that."

"Call us if you need us."

"Thanks, Dad."

The weight of my years wore heavy on me that afternoon as I came face to face with the inevitable. I'd just finally made peace with myself when she woke up. She looked better than she had in days. Her eyes sparkled and she had more color in her face. She even ate a bit. It was growing close to twilight. She looked out the window toward the water. "Edward, take me."

I didn't protest and carefully wrapped her in a blanket and lifted her into my arms. She leaned her head against me as I carried her down the stairs and I saw a younger Bella looking up at me.

I walked the well worn path to our spot. The grass was lush and thick with a few scattered wildflowers. The crickets had just started their symphony as I laid her down. I lay on my side next to her and stroked her hair.

She smiled. "Twilight," She said. "Our time."

I smiled down at her. I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I will love you for all eternity." And began to hum her lullaby that I had written for her years ago. She smiled as her eyes closed. My eyes never left her as she took her final breaths.

As her chest fell for the last time, I felt a single drop of venom fall from my eye.

I knew what I was going to do.

I kissed her lips one last time and whispered my final words to her.

"Wait for me, my Bella. I'm on my way."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*The End*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**End Note:**

I wish you all dreams of Silent Lucidity.

~Robyn


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